It’s our second-to-last day of Watchers on the Wall Awards final round polling, and we’ve saved the silliest for the end! Funniest Quote is a category that reminds us Game of Thrones isn’t all grim gore and bitter misery. Even the darkest scenes coming on the heels of grief and shock can be laced with wit. There were dozens of nominees in our preliminary round, from a diverse range of characters. But only five can make the final cut, and there were five clear winners in our poll.
The funny finalists are:
Pod: “Looks like a siege, my lady.” Brienne: “You have a keen military mind, Pod.”
Jaime: “A Lannister always pays his… ” Bronn: “Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”
“What is your name again? Barbaro? Obara. Well, you look like an angry little boy. Don’t presume to tell me what I need… Oh, do shut up. Anything from you? Good. Let the grown women speak.” – Olenna Tyrell
“They think you’re some kind of god…I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?” – Tormund Giantsbane
“That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.” – Tyrion Lannister
You can check out the complete and very lengthy results from round 1 of Funniest Quote voting HERE!
Final round rules: Cast your vote for the winner in our Funniest Quote poll. At the end of 72 hours (Monday 9/26/16 at 5PM EDT), the quote with the most votes will be the winner! The results of the poll will be revealed during the live Watchers on the Wall Awards ceremony, which will take place in early October. Specific date to be announced in the near future!
Olenna!!!
What, “Happy Shitting” isn’t good enough?
Nope! For me, the ultimate funniest was Tyrion’s “Don’t eat the help!” And maybe the funniest of all seasons.
Olenna Tyrell… a rose is her banner, a thorn is her tongue.
It’s not the cleverest line up there but Brienne’s “You have a keen military mind, Pod” was the one that made me laugh the most. It was just a lot more surprising for Brienne to say something like that than any of these other characters, and surprise is the source of comedy.
blug,
It did pretty well in the preliminary voting but didn’t make it to the finals.
Sue the Fury,
this is the fanbase I have to deal with
I voted for Lady Olenna but there were far funnier lines from Season 6 than these…
Cersei the Unbent,
These are the ones voted on by the fandom.
It was hard not go with Tormund but I had to go with Bronn in this one
Brienne. Love her!
…but I’m surprised at these finalists! Ah, well.
Don’t fucking say it! (from here)
But my favorite is still that ”This is good meat. Feed it to the hounds!” quote by Ramsay. I love dark humor.
Normally I’d go with the good ol QoT, but I’ll be darned if there wasn’t something in the way Gwen delivered her lines this year that just made me laugh. So the keen military mind it is.
It makes me sad that Peter didn’t get his fair share of witticisms this season, and some of his intended-as-funny lines (“punch me in the face”) were downright bad. Had to go with Olenna. Solemn Brienne being uncharacteristically funny would be my runner-up.
For my money, the funniest moments in S6 were mostly visual humor, not lines of dialogue. The barbed banter that I loved so much in the early seasons was thin on the ground this year, I thought. The writing overall has suffered, Emmy or no.
I’ll confess I don’t find any of these ‘funny’. Humorous, some of them, but ‘funny’ implies something a bit different. However, I’ll think on it and the Brienne one and the Tormund one might do… Or Olenna maybe though again that’s humorous rather than funny.
Sir Jamie has my vote…
I hope Sir Jamie survives season 7
What will happen when Sir Jamie and Brienne of Tarth meet again?
Firannion,
Yes, very much agreed here. Few or no witticisms, and the ‘punch me in the face’ line was dreadful – even today it was not what somebody of that status and that accent (OK, I know that PD is American but he was speaking with a different accent) would say. Not idiomatic.
‘Just lock me up’, or ‘tie me up’, or even, ‘just knock me out’ or simply ‘just stop me!’ would fit better, but ‘punch me in the face’ indexes an entirely different discourse.
However, my chief point of agreement is on the visual humour as opposed to verbal. Some good stuff here (the looks from Tormund to Brienne are only part of this). But banter has suffered.
I voted for Jaime.
Flayed Potatoes,
Why? Jamie didn’t say anything funny, he only started to say the bit about Lannisters always paying… and Bronn interrupted, to swear at his saying it. Mild humour, I thought, but how ‘funny’?
Tormund.
Voted for ‘I drink and I know things’ not because it was all that funny but more because it was a good and memorable line.
Actually a Tyrion line I found funnier was one that I don’t think even made the preliminary vote (I tried to open the link above to check but it wouldn’t show the whole list): It was when Dany returned and Meereen was under siege and Tyrion was trying to explain how this happened and as he was telling her how the people supported her a firebomb went off nearby and Tyrion then sheepishly said something along the lines of ‘Well, not all of them of course, you can’t expect all of them to support you’. I laughed out loud at that!
Bronn for me!!!!
Funniest Quote: They think you’re some kind of god…..I’ve seen your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small? – Tormund Giantsbane
Okay………….mentally I was voting for Sandor Clegane and his lines on chicken or people being really bad at dying – or perhaps Tormund and his hope that Davos’s bowels move well on the night before the Battle of the Bastards. As none of them made it through, sadly, I’ve had to re-evaluate things!
I love Tyrion’s line about drinking and knowing things – it completely sums up his character. Equally, Olenna’s put-down to Obara is essentially her saying what we think and so gives us great amusement. Brienne and Pod….the two of them are like a sort of odd couple road trip movie all of their own. And I like that it has been set up so that Pod learns martial stuff from a woman and courtly stuff from a man – great role-reversal.
While I ultimately went with Tormund, the other quote I came close to selecting was Bronn’s. I feel that Sandor, Bronn and Tormund get a lot of the best lines! To be fair to Bronn, he’s been hearing all about Lannisters and their debts since season one. So you can understand he is sick and tired of hearing about it. And Jaime still owes him a better bride and a bigger castle, by my reckoning.
Tormund Giantsbane, I salute you!!!! While I preferred his concerned line regarding Davos’s bowel movements on the eve of battle, I also loved his post-resurrection comment to Jon. It conveyed both the Tormund of the books that regularly makes this type of joke, and a man not used to talking about his feelings trying to convey – using humor as his armor – how much it meant to him that his friend had returned from the dead. Jon and Tormund had never spoken of friendship on screen, nor of Tormund’s gratitude for what Jon did at Hardhome (I mean at the point this scene took place in 603 – obviously it was brought up to an extent in 607) – for me, this quote emphasizes what Tormund feels about Jon’s return, in Tormund’s own unique way.
That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.” – Tyrion Lannister
The motto of my life.
Voted for Olenna because I laughed out loud when it aired and laughed again rewatching it.
My second choice of the bunch is Tormund’s: I saw your little pecker…
I would have voted for “life’s irregular” but it did not make it so… I guess Sam was right.
Bronn cutting Jaime off along with the tiresome Lannister saying was simply priceless. So that’s my vote.
The ones that made me laugh the most at the time were Bronn’s, Tormund’s, and Olenna’s.
I guess I appreciated Tormund’s the most. Such a great, character-centric way of reacting to Jon’s resurrection, which added some much needed levity.
The first time I heard Tyrion say “That’s what I do … I drink and I know tings.” I spewed a glass of wine all over the coffee table. Peter delivered that line with such a dry wit I couldn’t help but fall in love with it.
Funniest moment of the season was Tormund’s awkward lecherous smile at Brienne as Snow’s party left the wall. No dialogue approached the humor of his besmirchment with her.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that seems surprised at these finalists. This has been the most difficult vote yet because these were all so… Spectacularly unfunny. I went with Tormund solely for North bias. But it barely mustered a chuckle at the time. Which is more than I can say for the other finalists. Haha. I think something by the Hound or the 62 men line would beat all of these but I guess my sense of humor isn’t in line with the majority here. Hmm. Oh well. ?
Funniest Quote: Jaime: “A Lannister always pays his… ” Bronn: “Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”
Bronn didn’t resurface until the latter part of Season 6, but he made every second of that precious screentime count. His PER remains higher than any other regular character on the show. Bronn has now spent six seasons in the employ of the Lannister brothers – first Tyrion, now Jaime. During that time, they’ve both consistently parroted their family motto to him whenever he gets disgruntled with the level of compensation he’s receiving for his services. This joke was a fantastic payoff to the steadily diminishing returns he’s been seeing on that investment. One day, I hope he gets his better bride and bigger castle, and – many years down the road – the boring death he hopes for.*
*At this point, I honestly feel better about Bronn’s survival prospects than I do about the vast majority of characters in the show. His importance to the central narrative is tangential at best – he’s still around because the writers like writing for him, and the fans love him. Why kill him except to take something that brings us joy and crush it? On second thought, that’s exactly the kind of thing this show would do. Forget I said this.
It’s worth noting that at this point, Bronn’s been attached to Jaime for three seasons, which is nearly as long as he spent in Tyrion’s employ. The decision to pair the sardonic sellsword up with the elder Lannister brother remains a brilliant one, especially because it kept Jerome Flynn on the show past the juncture at which his book counterpart departed the story, potentially for good. The pairing may have arisen by chance (Wilko Johnson being unable to return as Ilyn Payne meant that Jaime needed a different sparring partner), but it’s been solid gold ever since. Hell, for as much as people bag on the Dorne storyline in Season 5, I will always happily defend Jaime and Bronn’s side of it. I’ll watch the two of them go on a mismatched roadtrip anywhere, anytime.
Close Second: “That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.” – Tyrion Lannister
This quote was ever-so-slightly disadvantaged by appearing in the trailer, so we had already extracted a good number of laughs from it before we ever saw it in its proper context (the line being printed on T-shirts before Season 6 even premiered). But it’s still fantastic. Words to live by for the wise man who enjoys good wine and great conversations in elegant rooms.
Meh how did Bronn busting Pod’s chops not make it? 🙁
There’s really nothing pant-wettingly funny about any of these lines – or most of the rest in the long list.
There were some hilarious moments, but the lines don’t capture them at all.
Olenna’s put-down of the Sand Snakes has to be seen in context to get the full satisfaction.
Another exchange led up to Lyanna Mormont’s punchline “Sixty-two”, but the consultation and the timing were all part of the comic effect.
Then of course there was her wordless glare directed at Ramsay – worth a thousand words.
Pure silent comedy in the dining scene with Tormund and Brienne.
Some very funny moments in the series, but the humour doesn’t reside in the bare quotes.
I voted for Lady Olenna´s quote but I thought she said BarbarA just that with her accent it sounded like she finished it with an O 😉
Funniest Quote: “What is your name again? Barbaro? Obara. Well, you look like an angry little boy. Don’t presume to tell me what I need… Oh, do shut up. Anything from you? Good. Let the grown women speak.” – Olenna Tyrell
Honorable Mention: “They think you’re some kind of god…I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?” – Tormund Giantsbane
Bron won for me, but bloody hard to pick between him and Tormund, but I went for Bronn as it was the first one I thought of for “funniest” before I read the contenders.
Tormund for me. The others just weren’t that funny to me (tho I loved QOT putting the SS in their place) It wasn’t a season with very funny bits like we usually get. So of the five, I appreciated Tormunds the most.
My loyalty to Dame Diana compelled me to vote for Olenna Tyrrell’s smack down of the Sand Snakes. On the other hand, I so wanted to vote for the “I’ve seen your junk and no god would have junk that, well, small.”
Well, this only proves that what makes one laugh does not necessarily make everybody laugh. Humor and funny are very particular things.
Anyway, I was divided between Olenna and Brienne. Olenna is pictured by a wonderful actress, and the Sand Snakes are getting on everyone’s nerves, so I guess her bringing them down made everyone laugh or at least enjoy it.
Brienne’s line was not a surprise; she had been making small remarks like that throughout the series. This one, to say it all, reminded me of Lord Blackadder and his man Boldrick, if you know what I’m saying. Still I voted for Olenna though. I didn’t quite laugh (as I didn’t laugh with any of the initial candidates, except maybe a little with Brienne’s “brooding” remark and Tyrion’s “the city is on the rise”), but I certainly enjoyed it!
Bronn and Jaime for me.
Brienne or Tormund ,Brienne …. or Tormund … I think we’re at an impasse here. Imma throw a coin, probably.
I’m really surprised at the popularity of the Olenna line. It definitely has all the hallmarks of Most Satisfying Quote, because the TV Sand Snakes are horrible characters in every way and I want someone in-universe to call them out for that, but funny?
The line really strikes me as the writers wanting to be funny, but never really succeeding in getting a line that really worked in there, because it doesn’t really make sense for a grieving woman to be crafting elegant zingers, so they can go caustic and bitter with the line, but not especially witty.
And it’s not especially witty. “Barbaro” is a bit clever, I suppose. But the rest of it contains such elementary school classics as “girl, you look like a boy” and “shut up”. It’s not exactly the Queen of Thorns at her best.
spaewife,
Because I can.
Flayed Potatoes,
The delivery was fun, I’ll certainly grant you that, and the situation – but the line itself? I don’t think so. Mileages, though, do vary 🙂
My favourite (Tyrion insisting that Meereen is on the rise during the siege) didn’t’t make it. I voted for my second favourite: I drink and I know things.
Tyrion’s one liners this season kinda all felt flat to me tbh…
GRRM has some special magic w/ that character that can’t be reproduced, though D&D have done some amazing stuff for him in past seasons.
I guess I’ll go w/ Olenna
tho Varys’s Line “she thinks you want to eat her baby” made me chuckle.
Tyrion.. duh.
My favorite isn’t on the list.
Al Swearengen: “There’s a reason you survived.”
Clegane: “Aye there’s a reason, I’m a big fucker and I’m hard to kill.”
Runners-up would be “Happy shitting” and Davos’ line delivery of “The Boltons are doomed” to Lady Mormont at the end of her first scene.
None of the finalists are even funny! I voted for Brienne but meh…
Definitely Olenna.
It was funny in itself, plus, it’s like the showrunners are making a jab (or even unintentionally?) at what the viewers think of their Dorne plot.
FRAN,
My fav was Tyrion–If I ever have an idea like that again, punch me in the face!
I watched every reaction video I could find on Youtube after the finale and I believe the person or people in all of them chuckled or laughed during that piece. No, it wasn’t a roller, but on a GoT funny level it’s one of the better moments.
It’s probably best to just go with what’s presented and forget about it though. That’s what I’m trying to do. People seem to be voting with very different eyes and ears on some of these. Hell, “62” got 293 votes in the first round. I didn’t find anything funny in that and I don’t believe it was written to be. I think we were supposed to have an “oh shit” feeling like displayed on the faces of Jon, Sansa and Davos. I guess some felt that it was “ha ha.” Either that or the voting was just another display of the oddly overboard infatuation with Lyanna/Bella. *shrug *
Tormund.
It just occurred to me that Kit’s Infiniti commercial line would have been a perfect comeback – “A ‘car’ should only be measured by one thing — how it makes you feel.”
I am going back to vote for the Pod/Brienne quote. I appreciate a dry sense of humor that can be a bit snarky. It doesn’t have to be a belly laugh.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed out loud at anything in GOT. Maybe a chuckle or smile here or there but I’ve never found anything “funny”.
I guess of these nominees I found Tormund’s pecker comment the most amusing because he does have an obsession with cocks and fucking, and it was sort of a call back to his coarser conversations with Jon in S3. As well as being a nod to BookTormund.
I may be one of the few who doesn’t care for Bronn so I found his “don’t fucking say it” more as the writers wanting to give him a witty remark for his first appearance in the season than it being organically funny.
I went with Brienne. Dat delivery lol 😀
That’s probably not unusual, except for the type of people that laugh at everything. Suddenly reminded myself of a couple at a movie I went to a while back. It wasn’t even a comedy but they laughed loudly at even the mildest quip. They were like a laugh track for the movie. Annoying.
No, GoT being a serious drama doesn’t have much for laughing material. The most humorous stuff tends to be the context or the person delivering the lines. I had to look back to remember what the site and pre-split site voted as winner of the category. None of them have been laughers, but definitely worth a chuckle.
S5: Stannis’ “fewer”
S4: The what’s a Lommy, sword naming exchange of Arya & The Hound
S3: musical chairs in small council
S2: Tyrion, Bronn and Varys discuss battle (the one Tyrion and Bronn couldn’t pronounce the book author but Varys does).
S1: Tyrion confesses his crimes including his first use of jackass and brothel
There are so many subtle funny lines in the beginning episodes of the season, but we forgot them in the excitement of the excellence of some of later episodes. On rewatch, there were lines that made me think, Oh darn, I wish I had remembered that one in the nomination stage. Your “because I’m a big fucker” was one of them. Another was Jorah telling Dario “You never got much discipline as a child, did you?” Dario, smiling, replies “None.” That one made me chuckle.
Of the final nominees, I went with Bronn. I do like Bronn, and I did lol at his frustration at hearing that Lannister line again, without him having seen any sign of his “high-born beauty.”
I got tired of Olenna’s wise cracks at the time she told Cersei “what are you going to do, kill them all yourself?” My reaction to her remarks was not humor, it was “Uh Oh.” It did indeed play out to be one big, green fiery Uh Oh, didn’t it? I love Tormund, but his pecker line struck me as uncool, even though it was said and intended lovingly. I liked Edd’s line to Jon much better, “Is that still you in there?” Anyway, went with Bronn.
Next season, I hope I remember all these categories and jot down my favorite lines and scenes as they occur, so I don’t have to bother my little brain trying to remember the good lines when the season is done and we are all in the doldrums.
I find there were far roo many nominees and the votes ot too split which ended up with many of the better choices to not end up in the finals.
Out of these, Bronn’s reaction was funniest while Olenna was incredible fanservice (that I welcomed, but still).
The point of the Tyrion and Missandei scene is buried underneath Tyrion’s ” I drink and I know things” quip.
Pigeon,
Yep. QoT line was amusing for sure but something about the way Brienne said that made me lol so I have to go with Pod’s keen military mind 🙂
Firannion,
The “punch me in the face” was jarring. They are more clever than that so I’m surprised that line was not reworked.
Tyrion saying he drinks and he knows things is so popular here yet I don’t get what’s funny about it. I mean, it must be the way he delivered the line, but it didn’t resonate with me as being anything more than just a spunky Tyrion-esque one liner.
ygritte,
Humour is a really subjective thing. I find no witticism in some lines book readers lament, nor do I believe Tyrion was any less ”witty” this season. Just as they no doubt find little humour in what I like.
Really no point in arguing humour, in my opinion. It’s just tastes. I loved the 2nd ”drinking scene” where they all 3 say jokes, I don’t really know how to explain why, but I laughed and actually had a really heart warm feelings afterwards.
If I would try to argument it you would probaly dismiss them, because you don’t think they are valid. Just as I would dismiss your arguments as to why a particular scene wasn’t funny.
Tyrion tells a joke; “Spit it out you wee little shit!”
lol
Mihnea,
That is true! I didn’t mean to sound like arguing if that’s the case, of course humor is def a subjective thing and no right or wrong answer 🙂 Thinking of Tyrion right now, I realize I don’t really find his delivery funny, he maybe comes off as trying to hard or something. He rings more true to me in his ability to convey sadness, sensitivity and wit. The exception is when he appears in Medieval fun time land 🙂 *I’ll give you 4 cent for them vini’lla wafers*
Out of the finalists I gotta go with Bronn (although they’re all good) but my favorite of the season was Sandor’s “You’re shit at dying”
Exactly! Miles ahead of the competition. Delivery was perfect.
And frankly I am suffering overkill with the Tyrion line. It’s on T-shirts, for crying out loud.
Me too. I think bragging about how much you drink is pretty juvenile. There’s nothing clever about drinking too much alcohol, and Tyrion’s meant to be clever, yet he’s constantly banged on about drinking as if it was something to be proud of.
All of these were pretty weak, in my opinion, but out of those five, Jaime and Bronn have my vote. Somebody give this poor mercenary his lordship, wife and castle already…
These are bad options, but of them: That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things
to be fair the “I drink and I know things” has been wholeheartedly embraced by the british Military usually with the tag line “so Tyrion is a WO2 (Sgt Major) then”
That alone makes it a winner