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Welcome all ye fair Crows to the Wall of the interwebs.
A man goes by Oz and you have once again found the unofficial unadulterated Unsullied Recap.
Up until this point, the Season has been somewhat painfully predictable and arguably slow at times. That all changed last night. A man knows not what this Season’s epic 9 will bring, but an epic 8 was just recorded, and the market price for Valyrian steel just skyrocketed…
Quite happy you have chosen to join us here at our frozen monstrosity of electronic ice and rock, and equally happy we did not decide to call this monstrosity “Watchers at the Hardhome.”
For reasons unbeknownst to the non-book reader army, we were treated to what can only be described as a battle that was as unrelenting as it was unexpected.
To put it plainly, winter is apparently here.
Let’s attempt to break it down as best we can…
The opening shot seriously looked like Madame Tussauds had ordered a rendition of Dany and Missandei to add to the collection. At the same time, a storm system was moving through my small neck of the woods and I mistook the stillness for a slight windy condition signal loss thanks to the good ol’ reliability of DirecTV.
But finally, Jorah spoke. Or at least, he attempted to do so.
The Tyrion/Dany dialogue seems to have been worth the wait. Tyrion attempts to prove his worth to Dany, not to mention showing that he really is a Lannister. In process, Dany seeks his first round of advice on exactly what she should do with Jorah.
The situation seemed to be looking up for Jorah to be readmitted to the friend zone thanks to the well-spoken Tyrion. But in the apparent pursuit of gaining her trust and proving that heeding his advice would be in her best interest, Tyrion eventually states that Jorah should not be by her side.
On the road again…
Having limited options and with greyscale on the spread, Jorah returns to the merchant who purchased him from the pirate requesting entrance to the fighting pits. And his wish was granted…
Confessions of Cersei, Take 1
“Shove it up your ass.”
To be continued…
Getting to Know You
Meanwhile, Tyrion and Dany continue to develop their relationship while having cocktails and discussing their dysfunctional families and the commonalities of their fathers.
Tyrion brings up his sister having her husband killed in mention of Dany’s plan to marry Hizdhar so Boring in yet another hint that there is something about the Hiz that we don’t yet know. Not that Tyrion would know, but the correlation will surely lead to something.
The conversation moves on to the missing Varys with Tyrion explaining to Dany that while Varys did spy on her, he was only doing what he had to do to survive. Tyrion then throws out the possibility of staying put and doing more good over in Essos.
And the long awaited “wheel” proclamation ensues.
Learning to Lie
In her continuing studies course at Many Faced Gods Tech, No One has transformed into someone else. First alternate personification: Lanna Del Arya, oyster, clam and cockle broker but more importantly, a Jaqen approved portrayal.
Jaqen instructs Lanna to take the right turn instead of the left and to get to know the gambling thin man to ultimately present him with a gift. The grin from Arya as she exits the building seemed to infer that she is finally enjoying her assignments. And she should be awarded extra credit for her oyster shucking abilities.
When Jaqen instructed Lanna to take the right turn, I was convinced she would come face to face with Meryn Fucking Trant. But it was not to be. At least, not yet.
Confessions of Cersei, Take 2
Cuckoo Qyburn is alive and well and has apparently been continuing his projects as if all is well in the KL (not that he could do anything about it, unless of course lightning had struck the tower and FrankenMountain had risen).
Qyburn tells Cersei that Tommen has more or less locked himself away and will not be disturbed.
“There is a way.”
“Confess? To that barefoot commoner I put in charge? Oh, hell to the no.”
“Goodbye, my Queen.”
To be continued…
Dammit, My Name is Reek
Theon enters Sansa’s quarters and is confronted as to why he would not help her. Sansa turns the story back on Reek and exclaims that she would have flayed him as well which leads to Theon admitting that he did not burn Bran and Rickon.
Each time the two meet, Sansa seems to be progressing in getting Theon to remember who he is, potentially setting up a situation in which he could rectify the bad decisions he has made in the past.
Roose’s idea doesn’t seem like a bad one: hold the walls, hangout, and wait for them to starve, freeze and/or leave.
But Ramsay has a different plan involving 20 men and catching Stannis and Co. when they least expect it. Intriguing to say the least.
Confessions of Cersei, Take 3
“I can make you rich.”
“A lady of the court.”
“I can kill you hideously.”
“Oops. I seemed to have spilled the water.”
In all seriousness, Lena is killing it with her suffering in the dungeon. As quickly as the story is having to progress in what I can only assume is building up to a climax in her story arc, Lena has essentially sold going from the highest of royalty to the lowest of lows in three short scenes. Her appearance is obviously a factor, but her portrayal was damn near flawless.
It’s still unclear exactly why there continues to be an emphasis put on Olly. Obviously, he is struggling with Jon’s decision to join forces with the Wildlings. Perhaps he is already aware of a planned uprising amongst the rest of the Crows as it pertains to Jon’s continued leadership role as Lord Commander and he is trying to figure out exactly where he stands. Regardless, this bit of detail is in for a reason. Olly will most definitely have some kind of an influence in whatever may be coming.
Now, to the “Holy Shit” part…
There were many issues and plot points that could have been covered or expanded upon in Episode 8 before pounding us with the greatness the fandom has grown to expect out of the annual Episode 9. An epic battle in the snow against the reemerging white walkers at Hardhome was NOT what I had in mind.
But this is a perfect example of how Game of Thrones, when you least expect it, bitch slaps you with a spoon.
The Lord of Bones going down to the bashing of Tormund was not a huge shocker. It was easy to assume that the negotiation and the reasoning behind the partnership between the Crows and the Wildlings would not go down without some backlash.
The Thenn in the meeting seemed to be the only issue in what looked to be a relatively easy agreement. But when the Wildling Lady didn’t get in the boat with her children and then gazed at them as if it may be the last time she would see them, the impression that something was about to go horribly wrong was set.
Ozzette was convinced that the Thenn was about to take her head off. Unfortunately, it was worse.
My initial thoughts were that this was going to be an army of Wights similar to what we were given at the end of S4… only skeletal, with some seemingly unnatural movements.
But that concern was quickly put to rest. The mixture and the variation of the soldiers did include some skeletal only, but also included some that looked to have just been changed over to those who were in the process of decay.
It was reminiscent of the Walking Dead, with a hint of World War Z (especially as the Wights piled up at the gate and fell over the cliff), only it was incredibly better.
Add in the realistic actions of the Giant, and this was undeniably one of the most fascinating things I have ever seen on screen.
- The Giant obliterating Wights.
- The Four Horsemen overseeing the battle
- The entire collage of Jon fighting this fucker…
- The children taking down the Wildling Lady after she had sent her children to safety
- Realizing that Valyrian Steel would disintegrate a Walker
- The scene where Jon, Edd and Tormund are running for the boats with the Giant in tow.
Hell, what wasn’t to like?
We were due some White Walker action, but this… just this.
Episode 508 Personal Awards
Favorite Action Sequence (potentially of all time): Hardhome.
Favorite Quotes: “It’s too soon to know if you deserve my service.” –Tyrion
“I thought you were worth meeting at the very least.” –Tyrion
“Killing and politics aren’t always the same thing.” –Tyrion
“He’s prettier than both my daughters.” –Tormund
“Torrrmmunnddd.” –The Giant
“I fucking hate Thenns.” –Wildling Lady (who died too soon)
Ow, That Shit Hurts Award: While there were all dimensions of “ow” at Hardhome, the spoon slap looked awfully painful, especially for someone who is not used to receiving punishment.
And getting mauled by Wight kids probably wasn’t enjoyable either.
Jackass Award:. The doomed Thin Man for giving his clients unbelievably bad odds.
Overall Thoughts: Now we know where the budget went. These past two episodes have renewed my confidence in exactly what the show is trying to accomplish. If instances such as this are what we have to look forward to as winter comes, then the edge of my couch will need duct tape by the time we get to Season 7.
The episode reinforced the idea that the real war is in the North, and in the grand scheme of things, nothing else really matters.
If you are one of the few who made the conscious decision to stop watching the show a couple of weeks ago, then you have made an unwise decision.
What say you, Unsullied faithful? Speak up and speak out.
Until next week, hang out and stay awhile. Invite an Unsullied to join us. And may there always be peace in your realm. –Oz
Find Oz on Twitter.
**SPOILER NOTE: The Management of this fine site would like to remind you that spoilers (book or leak) are not allowed in Unsullied posts. This includes spoilers that may be covered by code or otherwise. Personally, I appreciate feedback from Sullied and Unsullied alike, so long as they do not include any type of hinting or conversation related to the written verse. However, spoiler coded comments do tend to lead to further Sullied conversation and for that reason, we ask that you please refrain from posting any SPOILERY content whatsoever in Unsullied posts. Thank you for the coop. -Oz