The Long Flight – Part 1

Lyanna Mormont Season 8 803 The Long Night

Um.

Hello?

Anyone still alive out there?

Three of you? I guess that’s enough to do a Twitter post with.

(Plus I have no aversion to using the words of dead people to further my WotW ambitions.)

You know the drill. @Axechucker! @WatchersOTWall! And @You!

Mmmm… GO!

So people were still abuzz over last week’s episode…

Bruh.

Always.

So I asked the THRONERS what they felt the best case and worst-case outcomes might b–

…Ros.

STAHP

Yes. Ros was pre-banned.

#BANNED

….I would love that, honestly. No apologies.

……….I would kind of love that too.

This popped up, all random:

I can’t with some of y’all.

So of course people prep for the episode in… various ways…

Ridiculous. Fearmongering!

WHY NO.

WHY YES!

[80 minutes later]…

Sorry, bro.

Any last minute … hopes? Random fantasies? Crack ships?

IT BEGA–

–N. ohmyGODwoman

I CAN TELL

ayyy

NO “PREVIOUSLY ON”…??

WHAT IS THIS WHERE IS THE PRECEDENCE OKAY NOW I’M OFFICIALLY CREEPED OUT

The nerve.

The opening credits roll!

Miguel’s like the Stranger, just showing up uninvited and heralding Bad Shit.

WE OPEN…

That’s going to be a familiar refrain.

“Get ‘em down to the crypts!”

THAT MUSIC WAS EERIE

And that unbroken single camera shot was great.

The fandom in a nutshell.

We quickly zoom to the parapets, with Sansa and Arya, and Jon & Dany perform a cool dragon flyover…

Unsullied are ready! Dothraki are ready!!

(Or so we think.)

Always.

ON THE FRONT LINES…

I did lol.

Same, fam.

I would watch that show.

Hey, look! There’s GHOST!!!

Poor boi. Desperate for screen time.

“I’ll…. dammit, I’ll do it,” Ghost barked forlornly.

A good boi.

NOW YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUF, THIAGO

Jinxing Ghost…

And… oh, Jorah was there too. Okay. Go, Jorah.

(You’re not as cool as Ghost though.)

Proper.

And guess who then decides to show her red ass..

FIRE. POWER.

Khal Swiv with the OLDSCHOOL D&D reference.

DOTHRAKI HORSES FEAR ONLY THE POISON SEA.

There’s always that one guy, am I right?

“Valar Dohaeris.”

I guess that’s… reassuring?

Davos not happy, either way.

So uh.

I guess… CHARGE!!!

I mean, give Dothraki fire swords, they’re gonna want to charge something.

Yes. I’m blaming Melisandre for this one.

Ghost charging too!!!

And trebuchets firing at will!

It was an admittedly poor plan.

Ron Howard: It was not a feint.

And then… uhh….

…Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

Thank the Seven, no, Jorah’s comin’ back!

(Dude had that NOPE NOPE look.)

Where’s the lie?

Some men just want to watch the world freeze.

Jon: “The night king is coming.”

Dany: “The dead are already here.”

lol

And then the dead came forth.

IN ONE GIGANTIC FREAKING WAVE.

IT WAS A LITERAL TIDAL WAVE OF DEAD.

“Seriously, Lana. Call Kenny Loggins.”

Meanwhile, DANY & JON START DOIN’ WORK Y’ALL.

The White Walkers counter with: WALL OF FREEZING MIST! (Level 8 Necromantic spell)

Arya and Sansa are still on the parapets together. But not for long…

Outside the walls…

Shit was still going poorly for the home team.

My internal monologue was just one long panicked scream: WERE WE MISLED INTO THINKING THE NORTH CAN WIN AT ALL IS EVERYONE GONNA DIE??

MURDER ANTS.

Basically.

So I saw Sam get smashed.

I think.

Hard to tell.

But then… Sam is saved!

DOLOROUS EDD – THE FIRST TO GO WITH A DOLOROUS BLOW!

Actually, homie is still kickin’ in the books!

(Granted, George hasn’t gotten nearly this far in the books, sooo…. who knows?)

(In my headcanon Eddison Tollett will remain the 999th Lord Commander until he dies peacefully in his sleep at the fine age of 999 years old.)

ALF

WELL WE GOT NO AD BREAKS HERE, WE HAD 80 MINUTES OF CONSTANT TERROR AND MAYHEM, KINDLY FUCK OFF WITH THAT NOISE MADAME

Meanwhile, let’s go to Sansa in the cryp–

Geoffery. I’m trying to write a Twitter post here.

Fuck the crypts. Back outside, Jon and Dany almost have a mid-air collision…

Grey Worm protects the retreat!

You’d think! But no!

Jon is busy looking for Night King… but homeboy is nowhere to be found.

NOT YET HANNAH JESUS

Everyone is retreating except the Unsullied!

IT WAS TIME TO LIGHT THE TRENCH!!!

…Or… not…

BUT THEN MELISANDRE…

(10 minute ritual cast)

Wight 1: Whoa.

Wight 2: Pretty.

Wight 1: You going in?

Wight 2: lol no.

Wight 1: Bob? You?

Wight Bob: ….I might.

THE PATIENCE OF THE DEAD IS ETERNAL Y’ALL.

Meanwhile, fine, back in the crypts…

Y’all never stop, huh.

Right?

But Tyrion wants to go out!

Sansa talking trash about Danaerys…

Missandei’s got Dany’s back, though.

BACK IN THE GODSWOOD…

Let’s check in on Theon & Bran, shall we?

…Next post.

To Be Continued, nerds!

9 responses

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    1. Twitter strikes again! These are a joy! Thank you!

      I thought the episode was masterful…

      And I could see everything very well on my 10 year old cheap TV.

        Quote  Reply

    2. Woo! Thanks Axey! I too was grateful for those commercials so my heart rate could stabilise. Also, I streamed the episode through NowTv with full brightness on my tablet- I was able to see everything just fine.

        Quote  Reply

    3. I wish these were a bit shorter. I feel like I’ve searched for game of thrones and reading every tweet that shows up. thanks for the effort though.

        Quote  Reply

    4. Sansa talking trash about Danaerys…

      Sansa’s not talking trash or being offensive. She’s merely pointing out political disagreements between her and Dnerys, damn it.

      Sick and tired to see people making up the truth, it’s not even funny…

      Thanks anyway, I guess

        Quote  Reply

    5. Netheb,

      Agreed. Sansa was having a private conversation with Tyrion. They were discussing how his support for Dany would create divided loyalties in a marriage between them if they survived this situation. She wasn’t trashing Dany or her contributions to the war effort. Sansa realizes that if they win the battle and remove the White Walker threat, the question of who rules the Seven Kingdoms is still open, and the North would want its independence. In Missandei’s defense, I can see how she might take it as a insult. She’s seen Dany’s grit and loyalty to her followers.

        Quote  Reply

    6. DireWolf,

      Indeed! And I’m not blaming her at all: Missandei is 100% in her role when she defends her queen. After all, she hasn’t gotten a warm welcome in the North and the situation they’re in is nerve-racking. From her perspective, Northerners must seem ungrateful; but then again, Missandei has no idea what the North/the Starks have been through.. if she had, maybe she’d better understand why Sansa and Dny’s interests clash.

        Quote  Reply

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