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I’ll say this first: I’m very happy with my choice to wait until the episode aired to watch the events of Game of Thrones last night in HD rather than a low-res version just so I could see it 48 hours earlier.
A man brings you the Unsullied recap of epic proportions in an episode that may have made an overworked person drowsy for the first half, but ensured that they would get no sleep with what happened in the second.
The shit hit the fan. The shit got real. And assuredly, many men shit themselves. Let’s dive in like Jaime, but without the heavy-ass armor.
Finally, Bronn dialogue
We pick up with the Lannister forces leaving Highgarden with an understandably pissy Jaime (considering what he just learned) and a wagon full of gold destined for Tycho Nestoris, your friendly neighborhood debt collector.
Bronn gets shoved some gold as promised to which he replies, “thanks, but where’s my fucking castle?” Jaime talks Bronn into helping the Tarlys obtain wheat from the locals and rides off into the sunset.
Meanwhile at the ranch, Cersei tells Tycho that payment is in route and Tycho states that he hasn’t seen this much debt repaid this quickly ever. He suggests an investment in a current venture and Cersei remarks that she needs to expand. Then, the Golden Company is brought up and I’m not sure who the fuck they are talking about. Sounds like bounty hunters. Or contractual debt collectors. Or an advanced group of Cirque de Soleil performers.
Regardless, Tycho voices his support, as long as the gold shows up.
Dirtball and Catspaw
It didn’t take long for Baelish to get in front of Bran and do what he does best. He offers up the dagger that was used to try and assassinate Bran and tells him that he is at his service for whatever he may need.
Littlefinger doesn’t recognize Bran’s talent until Bran says, “chaos is a ladder.” The biggest mistake here is that Bran showed his hand, so to speak, and LF realizes that he can see events from the past as well as the fact that Bran can not/will not be the Lord of Winterfell.
How will Dirtball maneuver this one?
Meera walks in to say goodbye and due to his cold response, we get a better understanding of just how disconnected Bran is from the people surrounding him. This transformation may be my biggest issue with the season thus far. I understand the responsibility Bran must feel is immense in his new role, but IMO, the show didn’t do the best job progressing it throughout the last two seasons. It’s like Bran appeared and had to be completely emotionless in what should have been the most emotional as he is reunited with his family.
Arya Home? Fuck Off
Arya gets a warm welcome from the guards at the gates of Winterfell and manages to get in before killing both of them. Henk and Koner may be the two best names for dufus guards in the whole series. Arya remembers the past as she looks around her childhood home and retreats to the crypts.
Sansa knows where she is and reunites with her sister in the crypt. Sansa learns of Arya’s list and Arya remarks about Ned’s face not resembling him (she is good with faces, yes?).
By the way, Bran is home too… but not really.
Bran and Arya reunite where they briefly discuss names on the list and the dagger from LF. Bran states that he doesn’t need it, gives it to Arya and is shuttled back inside the castle as Brienne, Pod and LF look on. The entire reuniting of the Stark kids has been largely lackluster primarily due to Bran’s complete lack of emotion. I’m hoping that the missed opportunity for the show to give us a celebratory moment is made up by whatever Bran is able to contribute later on.
Missandei Got Kissed, and Almost Told
Back at the Stone, Missandei and Dany stroll down the walk as Dany inquires as to what happened between her and the Worm(less). Jon takes Dany into a cave to show her the dragonglass but to also show her the ancient drawings by the Children. He shows her the illustration of the Night King as well, and just when everyone thought we were about to have a romantic interlude, Dany buzzkills with “bend the knee.”
The Bad News
As Dany and company emerge from the cave, Tyrion exposes the defeats at Casterly Rock and Highgarden and immediately gets an imperial scolding for his failed strategies. Dany is ready to fly a dragon to the Red Keep and asks Jon his advice. Jon tells her not to burn the castles and the cities, and she apparently agrees.
Pod’s training continues, albeit slowly. Arya asks to train with Brienne since she is the one that beat the Hound and we see how skilled Arya has become during their sparring session. Sansa and LF observe as well, and Sansa walks away in a manner that was difficult to decipher. My fellow Watchers had multiple viewpoints on why she exited the way she did. I’d like to hear yours.
Littlefinger just sees money signs.
Back at the Stone, Davos inquires as to what Jon thinks of Dany and we get a Stannis “fewer” reference. Missandei gets educated on the definition of “Bastard” since people from Naath don’t get married. “That sounds… liberating.”
Theon emerges from the gray depths of the sea and is lucky Jon doesn’t kill him on sight. He says that he came to ask Dany to help him get Yara back, but momma ain’t home…
Randyll Tarly approaches to tell Jaime and Bronn that the gold has safely reached the gates of Kings Landing. Jaime apparently stayed back with his slow-moving men while Randyll ensured the gold arrived (nicely explained with dialogue, although it was a quick mention).
Bronn gets the best laugh of the night with the Rickon/Dickon fumble and everything seems to be in good shape until, that noise…
The Dothraki army are incoming while Jaime yells, “spears and shields.” Bronn pleads with Jaime to go to KL but he will not leave his army and believes that they can hold the horde off. That is, until Drogon shows up.
Mass destruction. Not only are the Dothraki a force on horseback, but the true might of a grown dragon is displayed as Drogon obliterates anything he wants. Jaime collects a group of archers to fire on the beast, but they bounce right off.
Jaime then orders Bronn to go shoot Qyburn’s scorpion and enters the battle himself. Dickon makes a save for Jaime. But Bronn finds himself in trouble when his horse is chopped down by one of the Dothraki. He’s able to get away from him due to a burning wagon rolling into the path. When he catches up, Bronn fires the scorpion in a shot that resembled the Giant’s arrow at the Wall.
Bronn reloads as Tyrion appears on the hill overlooking the battle. At the same time, Jaime sees the destruction and the agony of his men through the fire and ash being left in the wake of the dragon. Bronn shoots the scorpion and just misses Dany and Drogon while Tyrion observes and recognizes the danger.
Bronn reloads again, only this time, he hits his mark. I was convinced that this was it for Bronn… I figured he would hit his target but would be toasted in the process. Watching it again, I’m still not sure how he survived.
Dany dismounts to try and pull the spear from Drogon, and Jaime sees an opportunity to take her out. Under his breath, Tyrion calls Jaime a fucking idiot as he charges toward Dany. But just as he approaches, Drogon lights it up and Jaime is tackled by Bronn into the adjacent lake. Jaime survived the fire. But will he survive the water?
Episode 704 Personal Awards
Favorite Action Sequence: Littlefinger and Bran meet. Just kidding.
“Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?” – Bronn
“You can count on the Iron Bank support, as soon as the gold arrives.”- Tycho
“Chaos is a ladder.” –Bran
“You died in that cave.” –Meera
“The only thing in the kitchen you’ve put your cock in is the liver.” – Dialogue between the two Winterfell guards as Arya approaches
“Do I have to call you Lady Stark now?” –Arya
“But if you use them to melt castles and burn cities, you’re not different. You’re just more of the same.” –Jon
“I noticed you staring at her good heart.” –Davos
“Will you forgive me if I switch sides?” -Davos
“Men shit themselves when they die. Didn’t they teach you that at fancy lad school?” –Bronn
The “Ow, That Shit Hurts Award” goes to: Every Lannister soldier that got cooked or got hooked.
“Edge of the Couch” Award: Bronn running through the burning chaos. I really thought he was a goner multiple times, but I’m glad he’s not.
Jackass Award: Dirtball wins again. LF just won’t go away. And he’s not going away. All of this is falling right into his plan which is to let everyone else fight it out and destroy each other while he quietly makes strategical moves. The fly in the ointment for him is Bran, and he’s got to figure out how to manage it.
Overall Thoughts: It never ceases to amaze me. Making a fucking dragon look realistic is hard enough, but to make it look so authentic in a battle sequence is something to behold. The episode was beautifully shot and I thought Shakman did a fantastic job. What else needs to be said? We can overanalyze later. For now, I want to bask in the glory and carnage of what we witnessed.
What say you? Were you not entertained? Holla!
Until next week, hang out and stay awhile. Invite an Unsullied to join us. And may there always be peace in your realm. –Oz
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