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Greetings again from the great Wall of the web, and welcome back for an epic recap of this season’s version of the epic 9.
A man’s name is Oz, and while “The Dance of Dragons” had it’s small share of epicness that arguably kept the tradition alive, this episode will undeniably be overshadowed by what happened to one of the most beloved and innocent characters left.
Due to this occurence, I am now tasked with convincing Ozzette into not quitting the show. How many times can this happen in one season?…
Typically, these Unsullied recaps are an attempt to include details and facts of the ep and where it may be leading us in terms of the endgame or the more immediate future.
Swish in a little wit and some poor attempts at humor, and you’ve got a true Unsullied viewpoint of how the show may be perceived by at least a small percentage of the non-book reader army.
Forgive a man if this recap is not as “upbeat” as you have grown to expect… I am finding it hard to overcome the lengths that some are willing to go to achieve their destiny.
Let’s do the worst first.
Velvet hasn’t always got what she wanted, and Red has reminded Stannis of his mistakes surrounding Blackwater on multiple occasions.
If this episode showed us anything, it showed that Stannis was faced with desperation. If the faces of his army weren’t enough, then the burning of the food and supplies compliments of arsonist Ramsay and his crew of 20 likely put the decision over the edge.
Stannis has made it clear that he believes that this is his time and that there will not be another opportunity, and I think the writers have done an excellent job in conveying how desperate times call for desperate measures.
It doesn’t make it any easier to digest.
“At least let me take Shireen.”
The writing was on the wall: The men coughing and hungry and suffering; the burning of the food and supplies; Velvet and Selyse waiting on Stannis when he told Davos to butcher the horses for meat; the final scene between Davos and Shireen when he gives her a gift and tells her he will see her in a few days; and ultimately Stannis sending Davos to the Wall on an errand for a scroll boy.
And then there were the parallels drawn between the current read of Shireen and the current situation of Stannis. He asks whom she would choose. He asks for her help. He asks for forgiveness.
**Ozzette leaves the room**
I guess we should appreciate the fact that they chose not to actually show the child burning. But the screams will last forever, as will the scene of Selyse crying in the snow and how evil yet disturbed Stannis appeared as he watched his own child being torched.
Stannis has gone from being one of the most loathed characters to one of the most popular characters to now becoming one of the most hated characters. And once again, the show has gone where most would not.
The “Not So Warm” Welcome
Jon and the weary Wildlings make it back to the Wall. Surprisingly, Alliser allows them to pass and fails to give two shits about why they are all beat to hell.
The inclusion of the entrance scene was obviously a set up for another event to take place at the Wall during the finale. And of course, that look from Olly with Jon’s reaction doesn’t bode well.
The show has a history of drawing parallels, and Olly shot Ygritte.
Drinks in Dorne
We’ve endured nine episodes and various schematic miscues from the southern tip of Westeros to finally arrive at this:
Doran agrees to let Myrcella return to KL so long as Trystane accompanies the party and his engagement to Myrcella stands. Trystane is also to be appointed to the small council in the place of Oberyn. That’s about it.
The Dorne storyline and the significance of continues to be somewhat of a mystery (or a swing and a miss). Other than Areo getting even for Trystane with the elbow on Bronn, this long awaited meeting between Doran and Jaime seemed incredibly uneventful.
Even as cute as Tyene (Rosabell) continues to be, the patty cake session between the Sand Snakes still left me scratching my head.
Ellaria remained defiant during the cocktail party right up until she was given the choice to follow Doran or die, and at least we got a glimpse of the man Doran is and how he commands respect.
But there simply has to be something more to this story. The problem is that there is only one episode left in Season 5 and unless something dramatic turns out in Dorne in that hour or so of television next week, I fear that this entire Season will be judged by what was or was not accomplished in its inclusion.
Trant is Trash
On her way to give the Thin Man his “gift,” Lanna Del Arya spots a man (in a chance meeting we could see coming a mile away) whose name still headlines her list… Meryn Fucking Trant.
After accompanying Maestro Mace to meet with the President and CEO of the Bank of Braavos (Tycho), Meryn and the boys make a beeline for the nearest Braavosi brothel. Lanna follows close behind, offering up a fresh buffet of aphrodisiacs to the consumers.
In an apparent attempt to overly convince and pronouncedly remind viewers that Meryn is an excellent candidate for a deservingly horrific death, trashy Trant can’t be satisfied unless his brothel pick of the night is young enough to enjoy the current tween episodes of Dora the Explorer.
For a brief moment, he seems to recognize her. But his attention span (which is similar to that of a duck) is quickly interrupted by the intro of the poor girl who was chosen to satisfy his pedophiliac tendencies.
Ian Beattie, you are an excellent actor, but your character defines disgust.
The obvious speculation (in my distorted mind) is that Arya may have her first opportunity to actually look like someone else and will murder Trant in the bed. And as satisfying as that would be, the idea is still disturbing.
Note: No Jaqen slap when Arya lied about the thin man not being hungry. But he seemed to know…
As Gladiator-esque as it was, the Pit offered great battle scenes, although it seemed Jorah luckily managed to escape multiple instances when he could have been finished off.
Hizdahr so Boring showed up fashionably late fueling even more speculation that the Hiz was up to no good.
And to be honest, I found the conversation after the games began to be as distracting as that infuriating couple that sits behind you and won’t stop talking during a movie. The small man; the big man; the eloquent men; who your money is on; your favorite color; etc.
But my biggest complaint with the great games was that the preseason trailers gave a lot of the intrigue away and damn near spoiled it.
If you watched them, you were aware that at some point Dany and company were going to be surrounded by the Harpy. It did not take a well-educated person to surmise that potentially the only way out was for the crew to be saved by a dragon, especially with the title of the ep. and the fact that the Unsullied Event Security Company were apparently in contract negotiations and unable to provide services.
Of course, Hiz gets the biz in somewhat boring Hiz fashion, and Jorah seems to have persistently worked his way back into the friend zone.
But overall, the Pit was solid. Daario, Tyrion, Missandei, and Jorah survive, but are left to watch Dany ride off into the sunset via Uber dragon.
Episode 509 Personal Awards
Favorite Action Sequence: The Pit
Favorite Quotes: “You have a good heart Jon Snow. It will get us all killed.” -Alliser
“No wonder you can’t stand. You have no spine.”- Ellaria
“Am I gonna be happy at the end of this walk?” –Bronn
“I’ll see you in a few days.” – Davos (also the last phrase you want to hear as it relates to any character you care for in Game of Thrones).
“If a man knows what he is and remains true to himself, the choice is no choice at all. He must fulfill his destiny and become who he is meant to be. However much he may hate it.” -Stannis
Ow, That Shit Hurts Award: The Flaming Horse in the snow, the abrupt beheading of the first casualty in the pit, and Drogon suffering from spear wounds. Is it normal to hold sympathy for a dragon?
Jackass Award: Stannis, forever.
Overall Thoughts: Great episode, although not on the level of epic 9’s we have grown to expect. But forgiveable due to the epic 8 we got at Hardhome.
Out of all of the worthless speculation I have thrown out over the years that has ranged from partially correct to absolute crap, the deal with Shireen was right.
And I have never wanted to be more wrong.
What say you, oh great Unsullied? Speak up and let us commence with the chat, for there is but one episode to go before the long winter.
Until next week, hang out and stay awhile. Invite an Unsullied to join us. And may there always be peace in your realm. –Oz
Find Oz on Twitter.
**SPOILER NOTE: The Management of this fine site would like to remind you that spoilers (book or leak) are not allowed in Unsullied posts. This includes spoilers that may be covered by code or otherwise. Personally, I appreciate feedback from Sullied and Unsullied alike, so long as they do not include any type of hinting or conversation related to the written verse. However, spoiler coded comments do tend to lead to further Sullied conversation and for that reason, we ask that you please refrain from posting any SPOILERY content whatsoever in Unsullied posts. Thank you for the coop. -Oz