It’s that time of week again, that wondrous day in which your favorite video critics, personalities, and people who sit in front of a camera weigh in on this week’s episode, “The Gift,” which one could say confidently was a less contentious episode than the previous week’s.
We will start this week with our friend Jonathan of Gay of Thrones, who may never use the actual names for anything, and whose ball slang confuses the lay person, but who cares.
Ser Kenny was hibernating after finishing his Twitter recap so Sandrine goes it alone this week. If you watch Outlander, do subscribe because she does recaps for that too (Official Recommendation).
Another good’un from Ozzy Man
This week on WTF Cenko is Unchained somewhere so we have Ben, who knows fewer names for things than Gay of Thrones but neglects to come up with fun fake ones, Ser Jon of House Bad Nerdy Jokes, and Brett Erlich, who favorited one of my tweets once so we’re basically an item
More videos:
An *UNSULLIED* review by schmoes Kristian Harloff and Mark Ellis.
History of Westeros has their two vids up: Sullied book to show and Unsullied-ish show-only discussion
Sawyer7mage – Solo review unless you count the Funko dolls
Think Hero – Partially Sullied? Don’t quote me.
Grantland podcast links in comments? xx
SourceFed Nerd, ohhhh…SF. How your content has disappointed since the departure of your original hosts (kinda like websites who will not be named hmm). Video regardless.
Thank you for reading, please comment, if you will be at Awesomecon I will be wearing a DC 17 shirt on Friday and a Starkalypse shirt on Saturday so dont be a stranger!
I loved Septa’s look when she took Cersei to the dungeons and then how she looked at her before closing the door behind her. Precious moment!
I think Ozzyman is being far too harsh on the show in many respects lately
Ozzy for the win!
In Ozzyman’s review, he says Reek found Ramsey at the top of the broken tower when he went to light the candle. I thought Reek chose to skip the tower and rat out Sansa because of his Stockholm-by-way-of Westeros syndrome. I figured the show was just making us think he was going up the tower so it could dash our hopes for a giggle. Did I misinterpret that one?
Roocat,
Nah I stuffed up. Been told 123 times. The editing tricked me! And my naive wishful thinking tricked me doubly as much.
Roocat,
Nope, you’re the one who’s right. He misunderstood it. No biggie.
AngelWatch,
You make a valid point. I think I’ve been a grumpy book wanker more than ever. After watching ep 7 again purely for leisure I enjoyed it more. In a broad sense I do still think the last few scenes were the strongest. It brought it home beautifully.
Had some positive response on my Coldplay inspired “Flayin’ Alive” effort by Ramsey and Theon. (See comment section https://watchersonthewall.com/the-cast-of-game-of-thrones-goes-musical-for-red-nose-day/)
So got inspired to do another one. based on “the gift” here is Sam (As Beyoncé) and Gill-Y (as Jay Z) doing their version of “crazy in love”
“Crazy In Love”
(feat. Gill-Y)
[Intro:]
[Gill-Y:]
Yes!
It’s so crazy right now!
Most incredibly, it’s ya bae, Sam.
It’s ya bae, boy.
[Sam:]
You ready?
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
[Gill-Y:]
Yea, Westeros in the making,
Season 5, it’s so crazy right now
[Verse 1: Sam]
I looked and stared into your Wildling eyes,
Then these bros came for some sexy time
wanted to fight – you told me not to go
Lucked out with help of some dog named Ghost
But I was winning as I tried to explain,
Still you saying my pride is the one to blame.
‘Cuz I clearly can’t swing a sword with either hand.
But your love just clearly wants to make me pretend.
[Chorus: Sam]
Got me acting so crazy right now, (you are)’
Wildling from a keep b’yond the wall
Tarly coming to save you right now
Even with my legs shaking right now (in love)
Love you more than on paper right now (i am)
Wasted – they got me beat on the ground
Acting so crazy in love’s
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
[Verse 2: Sam (Gill-Y):]
When I talk to my brothers quietly,
Who she think she is? What the Wildling done to me,
You sweep the floors oh so adequately
You sow this crow’s clothes make it look easy
The way you made me break the vows I once knew,
book pages I skip while staring you,
But I still don’t understand,
Just how your love can do what no one else can.
[Chorus: Sam]
Got me looking so crazy right now, (your touch)
Willy feels kinda shaky right now, (not sure)
I know where to place it right now
Can’t fathom what George called it just now (tell me!)
Don’t believe I got laid just right now (your love’s)
got me breaking all of my vows (oh my)
Acting so crazy in love’s
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.
[Verse 3: Gill-Y:]
Check it, let’s go
I’m tough coz you know I grew up in the Keep
Craster’s daughter, but still keeping it real, (oh my)
share daddy issues, but those are just our least woes.
You’re Sam the Slayer, no halfling with hairy toes,
You kick white walker butt with dragon glass
Be proud brother shake that dragon ass.
But your best weapon is a fat pink mast. (oh my!)
You give the best lovin’ I ever had.
Tough like Tormund, but cwith bears I don’t sleep
Rabbits beyond the wall is all I keep,
Gill-Y flower, crazy and deranged,
They can’t figure me out they like hey is she insane, (oh my)
No commander I don’t wear no black,
I survived mole’s town so cut me some slack.
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no
Been dealing with white walkers,
I prefer my Sam to all these smooth talkers
(Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no)
He’ll care for my babe till the game’s over,
(Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no)
Sam II, one day will grow and sit the iron throne
(Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh no no)
By Book 7 the game’s been wrap, One!
[Bridge: Sam]
Got me feeling, a player, my baby
I’m not myself, lately, i’m bookish, I don’t do this,
We’re not showing skin, baby but I don’t care
‘Cuz wildlings know nothing on underwear,
Gilly you’re making a man out of me,
Daddy would not believe it even if he could see,
‘Cuz baby you got me, you got me, so crazy baby
HEY!
[Chorus: Sam:]
Don’t think of being a Maester right now
Won’t be building my chain just right now
Wanna be saving your baby right now
Got me thinking I’ll take you down south
Got to think I’m a player right now (your love’s)
Doin’ fifty shades of Baelish right now, (in love)
Acting so crazy in love,
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.
Got me acting so crazy right now, (our love’s)
Made “inside the episode” now (in love)
Don’t touch on all that rapin’ right now
ENuf’ debate with the people online
Want to care for your baby right now
Why that kid still not aging right now
Acting so crazy in love,
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.
Ozzy Man,
It’s no problem. We’re all book wankers sometimes. I still found your review funny
I always tend to get more from an episode the second time around. Unfortunately, knowing the book material can get you into the habit of checklisting things that do and do not appear. I can’t wait until the show passes the books so I can feel like I did when season 1 aired. That’s the best way to enjoy the show. I envy the Unsullied.
Valaquen,
You speak truth. Pretty sure I’ve still just been mourning Ser Bazza for a month.
FreyJoy,
Wow.
You should make video after rewatching. 🙂
Gay of Thrones is AWESOME. Although I can understand how some folks have trouble with the slang; it is very Southern California-centered. Luckily they’ve recently added closed captioning which should help everyone understand the glory that is G(ay)OT. I mean, GRRM was even on an episode, and Alfie Allen too, c’mon!
Grantland’s Watch the Thrones, Part 1 – Andy Greenwald and Chris Ryan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLYzmPN-210
(In the Written Review post, several of us were discussing why Greenwald seemed down on the show these past two weeks after his soaring enthusiasm for the first five episodes. I think he articulates his feelings better in this segment. And for what it’s worth, he does still seem very enthusiastic about both the final three episodes and the show in general).
Part 2 – Chris Ryan and Mallory Rubin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wLUUd3tT2c
Part 3 – Andy Greenwald and Jason Concepcion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BPHcZix794
Roocat,
You are correct. When Reek walked by the tower, there was a shot of him through the old towers’ window. You can see that it was still abandoned, snow and all. Also you can tell Reek walked by the tower and not toward it and if Ramsay did made his office in there, Brienne would of saw light from his candle and went charging into WF thinking it was from Sansa.
The What the Flick discussion about the High Sparrow, etc., is a case in point for what I find to be a really weird tendency amongst many people in the fandom to rush to defend aristocratic privilege. Like, the High Sparrow’s Westeros wouldn’t be an idealized place to live either, but the status quo in Westeros is a brutal feudalist culture where a handful of families get thousands of people killed over power squabbles. It’s open to debate how much better the High Sparrow would be, but do people really think he could be worse than what people like Cersei have already done? How many thousands of people is Cersei greatly responsible for getting killed, and when has she ever viewed the governance of the realm as serving anyone other than herself?
Was the Gay of Thrones Duke lacrosse bit used because a rape did NOT happen? or was it because the lacrosse team was associated with rape and was a euphemism for the potential situation? Either way, and especially with the latter usage, that’s not cool as it continually stains that program for something that did not occur. Maybe my sense of humor is just too sensitive…
chameleon,
Yeah you definitely have to develop an ear for that Weho drag slang!
Franklin,
Sex is natural, sex is fun, sex is best when it’s one on one. One. On. One.
Trystane,
Ehhh, well it’s definitely a case of horrible vs awful. But I’m not sure I’m comfortable making a judgement about which is worse.
I will say, that I would rather live in a world where everyone is a hypocrite (e.g. say sex outside marraige/deviant sexual preferences are bad but look the other way when it happens) than one where everything is out in the open and we are judged and severely punished for consensual sexual activities and other such “sins”.
‘Course, it would be better if everything was out in the open and no punishment occurred. But that’s not happening in the world of the HS or a Westeros run by Cersei.
One of the really galling things about the HS plot in my view was that Cersei
We’ll all be unsullied soon, thank god.I think I found the last episode a bit boring because I already knew what would happen, (even if it hasn’t happened on the books). Cersei’s getting arrested, Tyrion reaching Dany, Ghost making an appearance to save the day (which was spoiled by someone), etc…
Next season we’ll all be unsullied for the most part and I hope this war between readers and viewers subsides
NOW THERE’S A VIDEO RECAP ROUNDUP TOO?? HOW MANY FREAKIN RECAP ROUNDUPS DO YOU NEED???????????
Sean C.,
Generally religious autocracies are always worse than Feudal ones, Feudal Lords basically want power and tax money, but religious autocracies tend to meddle right into peoples private lives
Eg we had the English Civil War which ultimately ended up with Cromwells Major Generals, and to a degree the French Revolution threw out not just the nobles but the old Church and we ended up with Robespierres Supreme Being and then the Terror as the Revolutionaries consumed eachother
Sean C.,
Another issue is I don’t like the show depiction of the Faith Militant, especially with those stupid symbols engraved on the forehead. They are basically made out to be a fanatical cult, in the books they are the military branch of the institution of the Church/Faith, two aspects, one an infantry but the other Knights like Templars perhaps
I am interested to see where they are going with the High Sparrow, so far he has come across as a harmless old man, he had a certain look in his eye which hopefully means we’ll see him slowly become more terrifying as the trials begin. Pryce is brilliant
GRRM made an effort in the books to show how the Sparrows developed out of the excess brutality of the Noble class during the Wo5K, particularly the Mountain and in particular the devestation caused in the RL.
Last season would have been perfect to introduce him via Brienne or Arya and the Hound as they were showing the devestation of the RL during this time and the bullying behaviour of the Kings Men (Polliver) but also the religious nature of the smallfolk (Hound at the Farmers Cottage).
Not surprising then that if the Smallfolk no longer see justice within the Noble society they will turn to alternatives. The Sparrows then are a revolutionary movement, first within the Church/Faith of the 7 but then within society at large when the High Sparrow becomes High Septon
The show obviously has allowed modern Hollywood cynicism of the Church to influence things, not surprised that Hollywood people like What the Flick would be cynical of the Faith
Books is much better, as it is exploring the practical nature of power rivalry between two major institutions which operate within society, in Medieval times and earlier it was the Church and Warlords turned Kings, these days it is the Political Class and the Judiciary and we similarly have self-righteous legal types going on about the “rule of law”
Ah, but when the adaptation does the original “checklisted” material justice, the hairs stand on end! And there have been so many these past years! For some reason, this season I have respected the direct checklist adaptations even more, because they are so few and far between, like Aemon’s “kill the boy” and “Egg, I dreamed I was old!” It doesn’t affect my enthusiasm for the show if they wank with canon (sometimes for head-scratching reasons), but when they don’t, it serves as a warm fuzzy.
Ozzy Man,
Screw the wankers. People should be pissed and dejected at certain elements of the show this season. Loved your review. Don’t change. “Suck a bag of dicks, suck a bag of dicks…!”
Ser Nowhere,
Started doing them at WiC, scrolling works for most!
The Gay of Thrones recaps are the best ones. 🙂 And also, Ozzy Man’s. *Just my two cents*
Louie C.K. reference is always win!!
Sean C.,
I have to agree with you there. For all his talk of equality in the eyes of the Gods, The High Sparrow is full of it. Church officials who want to run secular society always end up being just as shitty (if not moreso because of their rejection of all other religions) than the Aristocratic class. The only real difference is that the High Sparrow is paying lip service to the masses but that doesn’t mean that he would do anything different in the long run for the majority of people. History has made it pretty clear, there is very little distinction overall.
This kind of holds true in modern times as well. For example, the Shah’s regime in Iran was repressive and brutal — then it was overthrown by the mullahs…
I watched What the Flick a while back. Very disappointed Cenk wasn’t there. 🙁 But I liked Brett Erlich, who made up for Ben and Jon.
Jonathon of Gay of Thrones is fun!
Roocat,
Actually, I have no idea! I thought Ramsay set up a trap and Reek fell into it, but you could be right. I’ll look more closely on rewatch.
Are you sure you understand what the “rule of law” means? It’s the opposite of tyranny and it doesn’t exist in feudalistic societies like Westeros. It means that government must be conducted according to the law and that is almost always a constitution of some sort that functions as the rulebook, which is, for the most part, a secular document. In modern representative governments there still has to be someone to interpret the “rulebook” but the power to do that is spread out across multiple institutions including the voting public, the judiciary, the executive and the legislative branch. In the struggle between those groups a balance is struck and the interpretation of the “rules” occurs.
Ultimately the “rule of law” in modern terms means that no one is above the law, not the King, not the Pope, not the President or the Prime Minister. In a society like Westeros, the Aristocracy and in particular the King/Queen was above the law and so were high church officials. And while the High Sparrow talks a good game about no one being above the law, he is putting himself into a position where he is because he and the other Septons are the ones that get to interpret the Holy Text (which is their “rule book”). Do the people, high or low, get to interpret the Holy Text? Nope, only him and his cronies. That’s why many representative, constitutional countries have “separation of church and state” because it upsets the balance and erodes the “rule of law” (among other deleterious effects).
Apologies Ozzy! Did not mean to be 124 :-). I have heard several people say the same thing so I thought maybe I misinterpreted what had happened. Really enjoy your reviews (though I feel the jury is still out on Sansa – Im thinking there is a nice come-upance on the way for Ramsey from Sansa that will make this all pay off – at least there better be …). I always figure we havent seen the big picture but, yeah, it is painful in the meantime.
Bex,
If I feel inspired and people like it I do another one next week 🙂
I miss the other two dudes from What The Flick. Hope they return for EP 48.
For what it’s worth, I thought that Theon did go in the old tower and found Ramsay in there on my first view (same as Ozzyman describes in the review). It wouldn’t have made much sense, in retrospect.
When it comes to Sparrows versus current Westeros Aristocracy, I’m sorta more supporting of the Aristocracy probably because I find it preferable that you get ruled by someone that does as he pleases versus being ruled by someone that does as he pleases and justifies it by being the Gods’ wish. There’s also the fact that the Sparrows have limited what is legal or at least illegal but previously overlooked in King’s Landing. I can’t quite support that. (What’s next? Tearing down the ‘gilded monstrosity’ that is Baelor?)
That said, both systems are pretty terrible for the lowly (wo)man.
TOIVA,
With nobles you roll the dice; you could get an absolute madman, you could get benevolent ruler. With religious fundamentalists it’s guaranteed to be awful.
They are NOT. Revolutionary movements change (oppressive) systems ‘n establish new ones. The ultimate revolutionary goal is to supersede old ideologies by new ones. The Sparrows’ agenda is egalitarian, however they are conservative moralistic fucks that consider the Faith for one of the two pillars of the (feudalist) Westeros (the Crown is the other one).
Good 1…
Uknow.0,
Wrong. A conservative revolution is still a revolution. Whether the ideology is old is irrelevant.
I agree with Ozzyman about Stannis not being the one to fear with the burning of Shireen plan. Her mom is the one to watch. If Melisandre wants Shireen’s blood sacrifice, Selyse will find a way to make it happen. The trailer moment of her on the ground distraught probably isn’t over Shireen but finding out Stannis will make her pay with her own life for what she has done. And hopefully this also means he’s finally done with Melisandre too. Even IF the magic she claims works on capturing Winterfell back from the Boltons.
THIS!! 🙂
Mmm not to start a new (old?) debate but I found Melisandre more interesting in the books. Like Littlefinger, in the books is not this obvious villain. Obviously is hard, with so many characters and so little time. Carice does an amazing job, though. I hope Stannis is not done with her yet, that would be too boring 😉
For me it’s not just the slang but also things like the commercial jingle “it can only be JARRREEEDD!!” which only those living in Southern California at a certain time period would know. Slays me every time!
Pau,
The only way to understand melisandre is to be in her head. I dont think its possible to portray her as non villainous from the outside. Its only when u read her perspective that u understand that shes simply a religious fundamentalist whosr doing what she thinks is saving the world
I agree with you on Mel (better in books, though if she burns Shireen in there, I will reevaluate), but I find book Littlefinger to be wayyy more obvious a villain in the books than show. I mean he’s sexually grooming a 13 year old (“Sit in daddy’s lap and give him a kiss! And this time, use more tongue!” *shudder*). And while “don’t trust Littlefinger!” is obviously a motto everyone should have in both, but it just never made any sense to me that anyone would trust him for half a second in the books. He’s just! so! slimy!
Ozzy Man,
Kings landing brought it in my opinion.
Affc and adwd are plain and simply unadaptable. They push the scope of storytelling almost beyond whats digestible in a novel, let alone a tv show
Pau,
I don’t think she’ll be gone. I agree she’s a very curious character. But if Stannis cuts ties with her that would bring much more drama. She won’t go down without a fight. She’s going to be one to stick around creating havoc for quite some time.
I recall some doubt about casting Hannah Waddingham as Septa Unella because she was too young and pretty. She NAILED it!
*glares at Maggy the Frog*
I think Reek did go to the broken tower. There were no candles in the window for Brienne to see. There was a spiral staircase, and I doubt he would seek out Ramsey without being summoned. He wasn’t going to tell Ramsey about his encounter with Sansa in the kennels, so i doubt he would offer up the candle scandal. I don’t know how Ramsey or Reek knew about the old lady besides her possibly being the only one to interact with Sansa & not being an original member of the Bolton clan. I don’t think Reek could walk straight towards the tower due to other structures in the way.
Rygritte,
I must admit that I thought Septa Unella was a man in drag when she first appeared. Who knew that was the same woman who played the Lady of the Lake in Spamalot! Hah! Great stuff! I’m hoping for a few more scenes between Cersei and her….but there will probably be dire consequences for tossing the mad queen in a dank cell.
Regarding Reek and the broken tower…no way. He thought about it but he went to Ramsay’s loft instead. He’s not strong (temptable?) enough to do something courageous…yet. It was a tricky bit of “Silence of the Lambs” editing that initially fooled us.
Still agree with Ben of What the Flick – The story is, at its core, about the Stark kids. That is why GRRM originally had the last book titled, “A Time for Wolves.”
Hodor’s Bastard,
Haha – At first I thought that the Septa was Thomas Brody-Sangster in drag. But he is kind of pretty.
Roocat,
Everyone misinterpreted it. They wanted to fake everyone out into thinking he was going to help … the production team did their job too well in this case.
I find Ozzy’s reviews far too short and filled with ADD (and I don’t really find it humorous). I love the more in-depth ones like AfterBuzz and What the Flick where there is a good mix of book readers and non-book readers and some good discussion rather than one person rambling on.
I personally enjoy the reviews that are a bit longer and in-depth, with lots of discussion and a good mix of book readers and non-book readers (like AfterBuzz and What the Flick).
The single person recaps just aren’t as interesting to me, especially if they are book readers.
KG,
Agreed! I thought it was a nice bit of trickery but it was easy to miss and may have needed a second look if you looked away for a second or two.
Hodor’s Bastard,
I’m not convinced. We need some gifs.
Nevermind. I watched it again and the windows are different. Reek was a rat.
FreyJoy,
I don’t really know this song, but LOVED Flaying Alive. Now when Ramsay gets a bit too much for me I just imagine him singing it to himself and practicing his dance moves in front of a mirror and everything’s ok again :O)