Episode 351 – Arianne
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Venture again with us into the actual Kingdom of Dorne. Brienne and her newly minted squire reach maidenpool and the man in charge.
A Feast For Crows: The Soiled Knight, Brienne III
From our A FEAST WITH DRAGONS reading order.
Discussion Topics
GRRM’s chapter titles
Vow breakers
Dorne after Oberyn
Prince Doran
Arianne Martell
They missed the boat
On the road again
Brienne the Brave
Another Tarly
Owns of the Chapters
Art by: galanix
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holy BALLS
and huge dark nipples
Canonically, they are “large and heavy” with “BIG BROWN nipples.” I didn’t know colors could have a size, but I am just a little girl of four and ten.
The American Tolkien, everyone!
I wish we had Arianne in the TV series instead of what we got.
I checked: surprisingly, the Dorne subplot in Season 5 actually lasted *40 minutes* of screentime. It’s surprising that it feels like so little actually happened.
Cumsprite,
According to my book (UK English original): “…round ripe breasts with their huge dark nipples”
My own definitely goes to Arianne’s frontal superstructures anyway 🙂
D&D should have had Arianne, Doran and Aerys rather than the Sandsnakes – they could have written out Quentyn and it would have been ok. Maybe they couldn’t afford to carry Sidig – I don’t know. But the storyline is awesome and could have really added to the show.
*shame shame*
I think it’s for the best that I skip The Soiled Knight, and all subsequent Dorne chapters, for the remainder of this readthrough. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve read AFFC in full three times, and this particular chapter four times, trying to see the value in it that others claim to see. I’ve read the essays exploring its supposed deeper meaning. I have yet to find anything that I think is worthwhile. What’s worse, each time I read it, I grow more and more exasperated with the entire storyline, and all of the characters who inhabit it.
When GRRM branched out in AFFC/ADWD to introduce the Kingdom of Dorne (among other storylines), he clearly wanted his audience to care, and believe that these characters and this storyline were destined for greater things. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have taken the risk of pulling his narrative focus away from the characters we had already come to love. But while I’ve come around to a retroactive appreciation for certain elements of those other storylines, the degree to which I still don’t care about any of the Dornish characters is truly remarkable.
I don’t care about Arianne and her poorly-informed crusade for her birthright. I don’t care about Arys and his hangdog lovesickness. I don’t care about Areo and his utter lack of inner life, Doran and his ineffectual plans, Quentyn and his anticlimactic sidequest, the Sand Snakes and their complete waste of potential, and the preening, narcissistic joke of a would-be child murderer that is Darkstar. Furthermore, based on what’s coming (including the direction Dorne is taking in the TWOW sample chapter), I strongly suspect that this all amounts to absolutely nothing at all – or at least, nothing that is worth the effort it took to get there. Maybe I’m just being cold-hearted and closed-minded with respect to this one area of the story, but at a certain point I need to trust my feelings. In short, I find it utterly excruciating to read.
After listening to GOO discuss this chapter, I certainly respect their perspective. I enjoy the enthusiasm that they have for its charms, even if those charms are entirely lost on me. What’s more, I fully acknowledge that the show’s take on Dorne was subpar by the exceptionally high standards that I’ve come to expect from the program. But narratively, it fulfilled its purpose. More importantly, it didn’t overstep its bounds within the story’s overall structure by pulling me away from the characters I’m most deeply invested in. As such, I didn’t find it one-tenth as frustrating as I find the so-called “real” Dorne.
Since none of the characters have inspired me to care about them, the degree to which I care about their petty internal politics pales in comparison to the role Dorne has to play within the wider context of this great story. In that respect, I find the stripped-down presentation that the show offers to be preferable to the illusions of grandeur that the novel indulges in. GRRM is a brilliant man, but he is not infallible. To the extent that I consider any storyline in ASOIAF to be true misfire, this is it.
GOO has boundless enthusiasm for GOT and ASOIAF that’s infectious and greatly appreciated. I have significant and enduring issues with AFFC/ADWD, and listening to the crew provide a fresh perspective on them has been a nice, illuminating experience. But not even they can redeem Book Dorne for me, and that’s telling. As such, I think it’s time for me to wash my hands of it entirely.
No hard feelings for anyone who feels differently, as I know many people do. I’ll check in for next week’s reading, when Westeros’s southernmost kingdom has settled into in the rearview mirror.
Cersei’s Brain,
I kind of disagree… As much as I like Dorne in the books (and you can figure that from my nickname), the story is very flimsy and meandering… Show!Dorne could have been much better handled, I grant you that. But I don’t think Arianne would have solved that problem. And the way they presented Dornish characters in the show, she would have been turned into a villainess.
Dammit. I quoted a description of another random Martinette with big boobs and dark nipples. You’d think that since The Great Bookwriter describes Arianne’s nips no fewer than four times, I would have at least fumbled into one of them.
Cumsprite,
wat?
What’s the name of that Harry Potter podcast? Missed it there and I can’t rewind GOO
Molestown bastard,
Micah co-hosts MuggleCast and I co-host PotterCast, bloodshed and beheadings bring us together. You can use gameofowns.com, iTunes, or click on the download link to click around in episodes.
z luye,
Thanks I listened to what I think was mugglecast ( a chapter podcast on lord Voldemorts request) enjoyed it. Going to go through them all as I’m a potter nut but want to say cheers to you guys on owns as yours was the first podcast I listened to ever and now I’m watching my soccer teams casts and poker tutorials so thanks again