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Apologies for the tardiness my Lords and Ladies! A man stayed up late partying with the Starks and found himself in bed with a Knight. No, wait! That was someone else.
The Unsullied recap is here and yours for the taking. Do with it as you wish but beware… there’s sadness at the front, amusement in the middle, dissention in the back and tragedy in the end.
I’m not even sure what to say about this episode, so let’s just get into the recap. We’ll ponder the meaning of life later.
The Death Toll
As we could see, the number of “insignificant” deaths were catastrophic. Of course, they weren’t insignificant to the people in Winterfell, especially Dany and Sansa who almost made a grown man cry just from standing over Jorah and Theon respectively. Good Lord.. the emotion in their faces. That was a fine job of acting on both Sophie and Emilia’s part.
And “insignificant” my ass. Jorah F’ing Mormont? Theon F’ing Greyjoy? Edd? Lyanna? Flaming Lightsaber Man?
I thought Jon’s eulogy was fantastically well-written and delivered. Whether he wanted it or not, he is truly the leader in the North. And I’ll miss you, Beric Dondarrion. You WERE significant to me.
Jon not knowing what to say to Dany…. Epic relationship plight.
Gendry goes strolling looking for Arya when he is stopped by Dany and officially named Baratheon and granted Storm’s End, much to the delight of the Northerners. Funny how everyone was looking at each other fearful of what Dany was about to say when she called Gendry out. Nice move Dan! And a well-deserved honor for Gendry. Now, all he needs is someone to share it with.
Semi-interesting dialogue between Tyrion and Davos. See quotes below. Will we hear any more about the Lord of Light?
Ain’t No Party Like a Winterfell Party ‘Cause a Winterfell Party Don’t Stop
Bran and Tyrion exchange pleasantries where Tyrion exclaims that he envies Bran for not really wanting anything. Bran tells him he pretty much lives in the past. Bran is quick to get his aid to push him away, but at least he is semi-acting like a human again.
Crazy-ass fraternity brother Tormund tries to peer-pressure Jon into funneling some wine and then toasts are made. Another good one for Dany as she calls out Arya for being the hero! Dany making friends!
Meanwhile, the famous Tyrion “lie or drink” drinking game is underway with Jaime, Brienne, Tyrion and Pod. All is well with it until Tyrion guesses that Brienne is a virgin. She excuses herself with Jaime closely behind and Tormund comes to the harsh realization that making giant babies with Brienne is not in his future.
Then things go sour for Dany as well as she realizes that regardless of what she does, she may never be as beloved as Jon. Varys takes notice.
The Hound literally runs off a flirting girl by barking at her (LOL) and is then approached by Sansa. Clegane states that none of the bad things that happened to Sansa would have taken place if she had left KL with him. She responds that if those bad things hadn’t happened, she would’ve stayed a little bird all of her life.
My favorite part of the final season may very well end up being the reunions and the what-ifs. And yes, the Hound still has feelings for the Little Bird.
Gendry finally catches up with Arya who is celebrating her latest kill with target practice. He explains what just happened and asks her to be the Lady of Storm’s End. Arya tells Gendry that she is not a lady, never has been and that it’s not her. This is about what I expected, but still hate it for Gendry. He almost hit the trifecta… a name, a castle, and a wife. But as Meatloaf says, two outta three ain’t bad.
In better news, Brienne is no longer a virgin and Jaime/Brienne shippers rejoiced! At least, temporarily.
Finally, Dany would tell Jon that she has never been looked at favorably the way he is since her arrival in Westeros and asks him never to tell his family or anyone else about his true heritage. She seems to realize that if word ever got out, the Lords would likely run with his claim and that she would have no shot at ever ruling the Seven Kingdoms.
And she is right. However, asking Jon to lie to his family is a pretty unreasonable request. Jon tries to comfort Dany by making her believe that they can all live together. And Dany agrees, so long as he does not tell Sansa and Arya the truth.
Did she really believe that Jon would keep it a secret from his sisters, especially when his brother already knows?
And is Jaime lying in bed with Brienne thinking about Cersei? Probably.
Strategically Strategizing by Forming a Strategy
The minds regroup to count their losses and assess what lies ahead. And Sansa and Dany still don’t like each other.
Sansa makes the point that everyone is exhausted and may do better with rest. I can’t disagree with her. But for some reason, Dany takes it as the North not reciprocating. Except, that’s not what she was saying, Dany!
Look… I don’t know why exactly they are painting this unpleasant characterization of Dany but based on fan feedback both from a local standpoint and social media level, it is working. There’s just not much faith left to go around for Dany, and at times this episode focused on it.
Regardless, Jon steps up to back Dany which prompts a family meeting. When Arya says, “we’re the last of the Starks,” Jon spills the beans. A wise man once said that when the beans are spilled, they’re hard to get back in the can (I made that shit up). But the sisters swear to keep the secret anyway.
Ser Bronn of the How the Fuck Did You Get in Here with a Crossbow
If you watched episode one, or just the previews, you knew this was coming. My question is, how the hell did Bronn just walk into a room within a castle within walls with guards with two of the leaders of the free world with a crossbow and threaten to kill them?
Although I don’t like the way it went down, Bronn had a point about cutthroats… kill a few hundred, they make you a lord. Kill a few thousand and they make you a king. Tyrion promises Highgarden to Bronn to save he and Jaime’s asses. But Bronn is going to kill someone “significant” before he dies.
The Stark and the Hound, Pt. 2
Clegane and Arya meet up on their way out of town and discuss their plans including not ever coming back to the North. The Hound states that he has unfinished business. Let the CleganeBowl Pre-Game ceremonies commence. Arya’s got something on her mind too.
The Beans Sworn to be Kept in the Can Falls Out
A wise man once said that if you swear to keep beans in a can that have already fallen out, you must reseal the can with whatever the equivalency of glue is in Westeros to keep them in (I made that shit up too). Sansa spills them with Tyrion setting up a mess of beans on the floor, reoccurring issues between Jon and Dany, and that potential betrayal by Tyrion that many have been speculating about for over a year.
Side note: “Rhaegal needs to heal.” – Jon. Had Dany taken Sansa’s advice regarding rest and recuperation, would Rhaegal still be alive? Just asking.
Tormund decides to take the rest of the Free Folk back North which is somewhat surprising. I assumed he would be riding to help Jon finish the war. But even more surprising was the decision to send Ghost with Tormund. Huh??
And Sam and Gilly are preggers! Congrats Sam! You know where to put it too!
The Beans Spill on a Boat
A wise man once said that spilling a can of beans on a boat is like pissing into the sea: once it gets in the water, everyone is swimming in it (made that shit up as well). Now that Tyrion has told Varys, how long is it until everyone knows? As Varys states, it’s not a secret anymore. They’re now informational beans.
And then Varys says it: “I’m worried about her state of mind.” What happened next won’t help…
ScorpionStone/The Fall of Rhaegal
You saw it, so no need to write it out. It seems the only issue with the scene is how Dany could not see the ships waiting to attack while flying above; why she wouldn’t be more careful with the dragons as they are her most important assets; and why they couldn’t foresee Cersei strategically waiting to ambush them upon her return to Dragonstone after the NK was defeated.
The first didn’t bother me as the ships seemed hidden between two mountains. But it did bother Ozzette immensely.
The one that got me was Dany and company not recalling how strategic Cersei was in Season 7 which should have made them be more cautious upon their return to Dragonstone.
At the end of melee, Missandei is missing, kidnapped by Euron and taken back to Cersei in KL. Upon his return, Cersei informs Euron that she is pregnant with their child.
The Spider and the Dragon
Varys tells Dany that she is making a mistake to attack. He explains that Cersei is bringing the people into the Red Keep on purpose so that she will have to kill thousands of innocent people to take KL. Dany agrees to offer Cersei terms so that the people can see who the real enemy is. That’s good. But then she says that they need to know who to blame when the sky falls down upon them. That’s bad.
Tyrion still believes in his queen (or at least tries to convince himself he does) but Varys does not. Exactly what this means we don’t know. But Varys is about to make a move. Will Tyrion follow?
Jaime learns what happened with the ambush and that Cersei is about to be attacked. He then decides to leave either to go try and protect her or to kill her himself. I’m not sure which. But regardless, it breaks Brienne’s heart which was incredibly hard to watch.
The End of the City?
Dany, Drogon, Tyrion, Varys, Worm and the Unsullied stand at the gate of KL with Missandei held captive above with Cersei, Euron and the Mountain. For a moment, it seemed Tyrion’s words to Cersei were going to be effective as she teared up thinking about her children and her unborn child. But Cersei is who she is and obviously feels like she has the upper hand (which she does). Missandei exclaims, “Dracarys” and is beheaded by the Mountain.
The shit is about to get real. Ugly.
And just in case you were wondering, Rhaegal and Missandei’s deaths were both incredibly SIGNIFICANT.
Episode 804 Personal Awards
Favorite Action Sequence: Rhaegal getting scorpioned was as surprising as it was dramatic, regardless of how it was set up. We’re down to one dragon, and I don’t like Drogon’s chances.
“You can still smell the burning bodies and that’s where your head is at?” -Hound
“See.. you’re not the only one who’s clever.” -Dany
“Lord of Light. We play his game for him. We fight his war and win, and then he fucks off. -Davos
“We may have defeated them, but we still have us to contend with.” – Tyrion
“And after all that, this fucker comes North takes her from me.” – Broken-hearted Tormund
“If it’s a boy, we want to name him Jon.” “I hope it’s a girl.”
“So much for the Breaker of Chains.” -Cersei
“I will act in their interest no matter the personal cost.” -Varys
Favorite Sequence: Varys and Tyrion dialogue, Sansa and the Hound, the Starks at the tree.
The “Ow, That Shit Hurts Award” goes to: Rhaegal through the neck.
Jackass Award: Bronn, although he is a sell sword, and funny as hell.
Overall Thoughts: I liked it, and then I didn’t like it so much, and then I loved it, and then I questioned it, and then I loved it again. And that’s what you get when you have four episodes in one. Not heeding Sansa’s suggestion that everyone rest came back to bite Dany including Qyburn even mentioning how battle-weary they were to Tyrion. I’ve always been a fan of the dialogue-heavy eps just to try and figure everything out. This one left plenty of room for speculation, and I’m already ready for next week.
What say you, Lords and Ladies? Speak up.
Until next week, hang out and stay awhile. Invite an Unsullied to join us. And may there always be peace in your realm. –Oz
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