WotW Awards Season 6: Funniest Quote – Preliminary Round

season6 awards

I’ve marveled over it before and I’ll say it again: for a show as gruesome and grim as Game of Thrones is, fans often find themselves laughing and grinning. That’s why today in the Watchers on the Wall Awards preliminary rounds, we’re celebrating the clever quips and witty exchanges of Game of Thrones season 6. With nominations drawn entirely from your suggestions, we’ll narrow down the funniest quotes of the entire season and find our top five.

The standard rules: Select up to FIVE nominees from the poll. You can choose fewer if you like, but you cannot choose more than 5.

At the end of 72 hours (Sunday 9/4/16 at 5PM EDT), whichever five quotes have the most votes will continue on to the finals. The results of the poll will be revealed when it’s time to choose the winner of Funniest Quote in a couple weeks.

Time to vote! Get ready to laugh- or at least crack a few smiles:

You have one more day to choose your top 5 for Best Speech so pop into that post to vote!

66 responses

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    1. Hodor

      “Your father was a cunt.”

      Don’t need anything that follows. Far and away the funniest moment of the season and it’s not even close IMO

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    2. Look at Jon actually having funny quotes! It’s a Christmas miracle!

      Voted for Lyanna’s Snow/Bolton quote, the 62 Mormonts (my favorite meme this season too), “happy shitting”, the pecker quote (a dick joke that’s actually funny for once!), and “hold off from burning my body” (bitch, that better not be forshadowing).

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    3. That was surprisingly hard.
      1) “Don’t eat the help.”
      2) “I’d like some mutton.”
      3) “Drop that arrow you bloody girl”
      4) “And that wildling fellow with the beard…”
      5) “Don’t say it. Don’t fookin say it.”

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    4. Huh. Not many funny lines this season, not for me, anyway.

      – Lady Mormont tells Jon, Sansa, Davos that she has 62 men.

      – Olenna tells the Sand Snakes to shut up.

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    5. A bit hard to select with them broken down so far…. hmmm… I’ll go with…
      – Jaime at Black Walder
      – Khal Moro’s five best things
      – Olenna’s Sand Snakes smack down of course
      – Tormund’s pecker joke
      – “Large sorry. You wait so fat time.” I laughed during the episode so it has to count

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    6. These made me chuckle.I went with Don’t say don’t fooking say it that cracks me up all the time.Brienne’s brooding one lol,Tormund and the pecker qoute tbh between him and Edd my heart grew three sizes in that scene.Sam’s I suppose life is irregular just for John’s delivery and Tyrion’s despite apparences the city is on the rise I laughed out loud at that one and I don’t even know why

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    7. I think Bronn’s entire Season 6 dialogue was pasted here. People were pretty lenient with nominations in this category ?

      My sense of humor may not gravitate toward the most popular one’s, but here it goes:
      1. Khal Moro
      2. Mutton
      3. The wolf bit
      4. Missandei’s joke
      5. Shame. Shame. Shame.

      I think I’m alone in this, but HANDS DOWN the funniest thing to me in these season was when the Jon/Sansa crew in the north was planning (I think Episode 4, maybe). Sansa gave Jon an estimate of how many men Ramsey had, and Jon immediately turned to Tormund, asking “How many do you have?” Something about his tone and expression made him seem like a total oaf – and I love Jon/Kit. It was all at once humorous, endearing, and troubling.

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    8. I didn’t think Cersei was humorous, but I guess someone did.

      I could probably have gone with all Hound and Sam, but I tried to spread it out a bit. Just realized how many good lines Brienne had this season. ?

      Jenny:
      Tyrion’s despite apparences the city is on the rise I laughed out loud at that one and I don’t even know why

      I think it must have been the attempt at positivity when everything was so blatantly screwed up. Tyrion’s tone, and Dany’s reaction were gold. ?

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    9. Well, the Hound almost entirely won that one for me !

      Most difficult to leave aside : “I suppose life is irregular.”, “Large sorry / fat time.” and “That’s funny, sure it’s still you in there ?”

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    10. So many funny lines – and so difficult to choose, especially given that there were so many Bronn and Sandor options!

      And that wildling fellow with the beard – I love all things Tormund, and his interactions with Brienne and her reactions to them were hilarious.

      Happy shitting – If there are not t-shirts with this on them, there should be. I really hope we get more Davos and Tormund scenes in season seven.

      Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it – I could have picked just about every Bronn line, but this was my favorite.

      I prefer chicken – Three words that on their own don’t sound funny, but knowledge of the character and Rory’s delivery meant it was hilarious.

      You’re shit at dying, you know that – Perhaps a strange thing to say if it was anyone else and outside Game of Thrones, but very much in character and I love Sandor Clegane.

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    11. Another tough category…So bummed to leave out some hilarious quotes. My nominees:
      1. Bronn- “Golden fingers up her twat”
      2. The Hound- “I prefer chicken”
      3. Olenna Tyrell- biitchslap to the sandsnakes
      4. Walder Frey- “What are my sons doing? Trimming their cunt hairs?”
      5. Walder Frey- “You lost the castle?”

      Hon’ble mentions:
      Ramsay Bolton- “I am a man of mercy”
      Tyrion- “I drink and I know things”
      Brienne- “Pod, you have a keen military mind”
      Septon Ray- “I’m a fucking septon. What was I suppossed to say”

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    12. That was a bit tricky but these were my best five candidates:

      Jaime: “A Lannister always pays his… ” Bronn: “Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”

      “I’m a fucking septon, what was I supposed to say?” – Brother Ray

      “It’s a sad fuckin’ statement if Dolorous Edd is our only chance.” – Night’s Watchman

      “I suppose that life is irregular.” – Samwell Tarly

      “I never demand, but I’m up for anything, really.” – Yara Greyjoy

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    13. It’s got to be:

      1) Episode 602 at about the 46 minute mark:
      Mel is in her Castle Black chamber staring into the flames when Davos comes in:
      Davos to Mel: “I assume you know why I’m here”
      Melisandre: I will after you tell me…

      2) Lyanna’s “..If you say so.” to Mrs. Sansa Lannister-Bolton.

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    14. Rhaenys Stark: Jon’s “Well, father always promised, didn’t he?” quote still makes me cry, not laugh. And it is among my top 3 favorite quotes of the entire show.

      That made me laugh, but not because it was funny per se – it was more like joining Jon and Sansa in the kind of laughing that one does in relief and release from a long burden. It was a moving moment. Even though they know that the darkest times are still ahead, there’s still a sense that if anybody is ready to cope with them, it’s the wolf pack.

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    15. Flayed Potatoes: “hold off from burning my body” (bitch, that better not be forshadowing).

      Oh lordy, never even thought of that, damn. Move over … BITCH, THAT BETTER NOT BE FORESHADOWING!!

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    16. Firannion: That made me laugh, but not because it was funny per se – it was more like joining Jon and Sansa in the kind of laughing that one does in relief and release from a long burden.

      Yes, for a few seconds at least he was at peace and a happy, smiling man. I loved it, him and Sansa happy and at peace. I hope it lasts … yeah, I know, if you think this has a happy ending … OH, WAIT Ramsay said that, didn’t he? How’s that for foreshadowing, sumbitch? Ha!

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    17. Firannion,

      Yes I agree with everything you said. Anyway, I cried like a baby the first time I watched the scene, especially Kit’s performance is amazing. And the Winterfell theme in the background still makes me emotional, even after hearing it hundreds of times throughout the course of the show. Chills and Ned Stark feels all over again.

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    18. I go with: “”They in there? Do you think they’re fucking? Would you fuck her? I’d fuck her.” – Bronn.

      One of the Hound’s quotes about an arrow reminded me of the archer from the BWOB from season 3. Was that actor not able to return? Or did they just cut him out to simplify things?

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    19. Jaime: “A Lannister always pays his… “ Bronn: “Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”

      “Despite appearances, I think you’ll find the city’s on the rise.”Tyrion Lannister

      “You’re shit at dying, you know that?”The Hound

      “I never demand, but I’m up for anything, really.”Yara Greyjoy

      “That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.”Tyrion Lannister

      Also Considered/Toughest Omissions:

      “I’m a fucking septon, what was I supposed to say?” – Brother Ray

      “They in there? Do you think they’re fucking?” – Bronn

      “Good thing we’re friends, or we’d be fucking you in the ass right now.” – Bronn

      “Not blonde enough for you?” Bronn to Jaime (for a season in which Bronn didn’t have that much screentime, he had some great lines this year. His PER is consistently off the charts).

      “I suppose that life is irregular.” – Samwell Tarly

      -Jaime: “Only a fool makes threats he’s not prepared to carry out. Let’s say…I threatened to hit you, unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I’d do?” Black Walder: “I don’t give a rotten-” [Jaime backhands him]

      “It’s a sad fuckin’ statement if Dolorous Edd is our only chance.” – Night’s Watchman (I laughed hard at the time, but hey – Edd did damn well this season, both for himself and for others. Speaking of which …)

      “Yeah, close the bloody gate.” – Dolorous Edd (All hail the 999th Lord Commander! Or is he the 1000th? Screw it, it barely even matters any more).

      “Two translators are on a sinking ship. The first says: ‘Do you know how to swim?’ The second says, ‘No, but I can shout for help in nineteen languages’!” – Missandei (it’s not so much the line that I love as the bright smile that she flashes after she finishes the joke. She is SO pleased with herself. It’s adorable.)

      “I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madame says…” –Tyrion Lannister, still trying to finish that joke (I love this callback to Season 1, and I’ve accepted that we’re never actually going to hear the end of this joke. That’s fine. Let our imaginations run wild!)

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    20. Jenny: I shouldn’t be this happy at meaningless online polls but here I am lol.Love Lyanna’s platform

      That happiness is part of the off-season fun. I hope we are all happy here and with each other come April and there is no GoT on the horizon for another few months. I get tired just thinking about it.

      I picked both the Edd ones: That still you in there? and Yeah, close the bloody gate. I love Edd. He’s another one they’d better not kill, since they already wiped out Grenn and Pyp. I don’t think Ben Crompton gets mentioned enough, and his facial expressions are priceless. Pay attention to his reactions to Tormund and Brienne. He’s part of what makes those minutes so hilarious.

      I’m a big fan of Bronn’s too, but I figured everyone else would pick most of his quotes, so I let them be in favor of some of the others.

      John Bradley/Sam’s quote about life. Can’t wait to see what Sam discovers in the books and the hallways of that library, as long as he doesn’t get so immersed he forgets about Gilly and the baby. (toddler? is little Sam a toddler yet?)

      Jon’s “Don’t knock it down …” which was a sweet, funny farewell to Edd, but funny because that’s the last thing they think could be possible. Yet, I think that IS foreshadowing, no? The Wall is going to go. I think that scene where the Night King knelt, touched his hand to snowy ground and caused a huge crack, allowing him entrance to the cave, is absolutely what’s going to happen at the Wall. And I think it’s going to be near the end of this season, maybe even the middle of it. There has to be time for the word to spread throughout the land, and for decisions to be made as to what to do. With the shortened seasons, I think the Wall goes down sooner rather than later.

      Yara’s “I’m up for anything.” It was surprising, coming from her, and was delivered in a calm, sexy way far different from her usual brashness. Hmmm, I wonder what those two will get up to, besides killing her uncles and conquering Cersei, that is.

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    21. “Lesson number one: assume everyone wants to hit you. Because they do, Pod. Everyone wants to hit a fucking squire”
      Funniest shit Bron has ever said followed by, “Don’t say it, don’t fookin say it”

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    22. Jared: –“I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madame says…” –Tyrion Lannister, still trying to finish that joke (I love this callback to Season 1, and I’ve accepted that we’re never actually going to hear the end of this joke. That’s fine. Let our imaginations run wild!)

      Wouldn’t it be cool if, as a between-seasons promotional campaign, HBO organized a contest for fans for who can come up with the best punchline to that joke? The winner could get tickets to the final season premiere or something.

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    23. – “Good thing we’re friends, or we’d be fucking you in the ass right now.” – Bronn. That’s a little bit too graphic, Bronn.
      – “Can he understand what we’re saying? To the extend he understood complete sentences in the first place.” Jaime Lannister, about the Mountain. And then he stares back at him and Jaime craps his pants (metaphorically speaking) .
      – “I didn’t think I’d ever come back here after my father made me renounce my title and inheritance and, well, threaten to kill me if I didn’t. A person just doesn’t feel welcome at that point.” – Samwell Tarly. You don’t say.
      – “They think you’re a god. I know you’re not. I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?” – Tormund Giantsbane It took 4 seasons, but Tormund finally made a dick joke.
      – Walder Frey: “Lost it? Presumably you still know where it is. It’s a castle, not a bloody sheep. Presumably you still know where it is. You didn’t lose Riverrun. You let the Blackfish take it from you.” On top of being a rude, backstabbing, perverted son of a crossbow, Walder turns out to be a Grammar Nazi.

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    24. Wow – most of the choices were not worth a chuckle. Either there just wasn’t that much funny happening or my taste in humor is different from the norm.* Well, the one I voted on for sure was Hound’s I’d rather have chicken because it was such a great throwback to the season he’d been on before. I might vote for others – maybe folks here will give me some ideas.

      *this is also how I felt about the funniest scenes category. wish it wasn’t so

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    25. Voted for:

      “Shame. Shame. Shame.” – Cersei to Septa Unella

      Jaime: “Only a fool makes threats he’s not prepared to carry out. Let’s say…I threatened to hit you, unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I’d do?” Black Walder: “I don’t give a rotten-” [Jaime backhands him]

      “What is your name again? Barbaro? Well, you look like an angry little boy. Don’t presume to tell me what I need…Oh, do shut up. Anything from you? Good. Let the grown women speak.” – Olenna Tyrell

      “I suppose that life is irregular.” – Samwell Tarly

      “I never demand, but I’m up for anything, really.” – Yara Greyjoy

      Honorable Mentions:

      “I’m a fucking septon, what was I supposed to say?” – Brother Ray

      “It’s a sad fuckin’ statement if Dolorous Edd is our only chance.” – Night’s Watchman

      “I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madame says…” –Tyrion Lannister, still trying to finish that joke

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    26. 1. “And that wildling fellow with the beard…” – Brienne of Tarth

      2. “Lesson number one: Assume everyone wants to hit you. Because they do, Pod. Everyone wants to hit a fucking squire.” – Bronn

      3. Davos: “I walk. Think and walk. Think and walk until I’m far enough away from camp that no-one can hear me shitting my guts out.” Tormund: “Happy shitting.”

      4. “I prefer chicken.” – The Hound

      5. “I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madame says…” –Tyrion Lannister, still trying to finish that joke.

      It wasn’t too hard choosing this season~

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    27. Again, it was a bit difficult to narrow it down. I went with

      1. Jon Snow: “How many fighting men can we expect?” Lyanna Mormont: “Sixty-two.”
      2. Jaime: “A Lannister always pays his… ” Bronn: “Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”
      3. And that wildling fellow with the beard…” – Brienne of Tarth
      4. “We all bloody die. Except this one, here.” – The Hound
      5. Walder Frey: “Lost it? Presumably you still know where it is. It’s a castle, not a bloody sheep. Presumably you still know where it is. You didn’t lose Riverrun. You let the Blackfish take it from you.”

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    28. Ah, this is hopeless. The previous polls I was at least able to slowly trim my choices by applying some kind of filters. Here it just doesn’t work.

      “Select only those that really made me laugh: third of the choices still selected.
      Concentrate on the solid deliveries of the lines: still third of the choices selected.
      Pick only the consistently delivering characters: still third of the choices selected.
      …”

      I’ll retry tomorrow.

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    29. Having studied translation myself, my vote goes to Missandei’s joke. I laughed so hard at that one.

      Most of the other candidates were pretty good though (except for Cersei’s lines to Septa Unella – who the flick thought that those were funny?”

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    30. Tough one, this!

      I went on the principle that you have to have a bit of Bronn, a bit of Hound, a bit of Olenna, and a bit of Tormund. Then I threw in a bit of Brother Ray because of the McShane Factor.

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    31. My fav was:

      “They think you’re a god. I know you’re not. I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?” – Tormund Giantsbane

      Because it is a great line, not only is funny but is perfect for the character. And with just that line the writers solved the: how will everyone react to Jon now?

      Also great:

      Osha: “You eat them after?” Ramsay: “No.” Osha: “Then I’ve seen worse.”

      Too bad we got so little Osha, she was an awesome character, one that even Martin said he prefers over the book version.

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    32. Man… so much deadpan. Most of these were sadder than they were funny lol! Still found enough that actually made me smile.

      BTW I totally picked Missandei’s joke. It was awesome. I love highly field-specific nerdy humor.

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    33. In the end, I had to vote for:

      –Sam at the Citadel, because it’s so sublime
      –Yara’s “I’m up for anything” line. Hysterical.
      –The Hound. You always have to have the Hound. In my case, it was “Fuck you, that’s the best you can do?”
      –Olenna shutting down the Sand Snakes.
      –And Brienne’s “And that wildling fellow…” line, because it’s clearly thrown her off so much. Anything Tormienne is awesome.

      Was hard to not include Bronn.

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    34. Regarding the Cersei lines, I’ll admit I’m not sure how the “You’re not going to die today” line found its way in there, and I’m not sure why I didn’t apply a filter and jettison that one. But I wanted to stick with a very light filter, and not dump things just because I didn’t like them.

      But the repeated “Shame” line? I find that one mordantly funny. It’s sick, twisted humor, but it’s humor nonetheless.

      as for the comments on the Hound re: “put that arrow down,” yes, Sandor Clegane has been consistent in his disdain for archers – he told one archer at Blackwater that none of those “flaming fucking arrows” better ever come near him, and in Season 3 he goaded Anguy (who didn’t return in Season 6) with a taunt along the lines of, “You try it, archer, I’ll shove those arrows up your ass.”

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    35. Firannion: Wouldn’t it be cool if, as a between-seasons promotional campaign, HBO organized a contest for fans for who can come up with the best punchline to that joke?The winner could get tickets to the final season premiere or something.

      This would be a great suggestion for a contest for Valyrian passes for Con of Thrones!

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    36. Thronetender,

      I thought that line alluded to one of the many theories regarding Jon Snow’s resurrection. Dolorous Edd also mentioned Jon’s eye color still being brown… bit of a wink wink nudge nudge from the writers.

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    37. Drakoen:
      Davos’ muffin request and Tyrion insisting that everything is fine, while the City’s being torn apart, are my favourites.

      Mutton! Lol, muffin would have been funny too!

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    38. The Walder Frey one isn’t right, you have “presumably you still know..” bit twice.

      That’s my favorite one as well.
      The whole scene was perfect. Humor, writing, acting, characterization, 10/10 all the way.

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