Watchers on the Wall Awards: Funniest Quote

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With over 50 preliminary nominees, the category of Funniest Quote was a rough one for the Watchers on the Wall Awards. In the end, however, five finalists stood apart from the rest and earned the most votes- and three of them are from the same episode, spoken within minutes of each other.

Without further ado, here are your five finalist nominees for the Funniest Quote of Game of Thrones season 4.

“What the fuck’s a Lommy?” – The Hound

Jaime: “Luckily for you, none of this will happen because you’ll never marry her.” Loras: “And neither will you.”

“I understand if any more words come pouring out of your cunt mouth, I’m going to eat every fucking chicken in this room.” – The Hound

Oberyn: “And did you?” Shae: “Did I what?” Oberyn: “Fuck him like it was his last night in this world?”

Arya: “Lots of people name their swords.” The Hound: “Lots of cunts.”

This is the final round, and so you have ONE vote. The poll will be open for 48 hours, until 9/28/14, at 10PM Eastern Time.

Thank you to everyone for voting, and thanks to everyone behind the scenes who has made the awards possible!

80 responses

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    1. All the Hound quotes are gold but the other two are puzzling in that they aren’t really funny in the least. Did some Oberyn and Loras fans go in and rig the votes to get those clunkers included in the final five?

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    2. There are three awesome, golden lines here, and they’re all from the Hound.

      There are two others that aren’t bad, but kind of weak, especially compared with all the other goddamned ones that were in the mix. The Loras burn is good, but not especially hilarious and the Oberyn one was clever in the midst of a really rough, harsh scene.

      So fuck those. In most other instances I’d be worried about the Hound lines cancelling each other out, but I think they’ll in the end turn out to be #1-2-3, just not sure of the order.

      Mine? It’s every fucking chicken in this room.

      (And if the Hound somehow doesn’t win, well, I WILL eat every fucking chicken in this room.)

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    3. Okay, serious question time: Could someone explain to me why the Hound’s chicken lines are funny? English is my second language so I might be missing out on something, but is it just the comedic timing? What is it? A lot of people clearly love it but it still seems so awkward when I watch it…

      (I’m not trying to undermine anyone’s comedic taste, I’m just really wondering.)

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    4. Bott,

      I can try (why I find it funny):

      1) The build up. It starts from a one chicken retort to two chickens to every chicken…with every retort implying a greater threat. Classic Sandor.

      2) Sandor’s deadpan stare at Polliver and chugging beer throughout

      3) The Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) food chain has Colonel Sanders as their spokesman. (Colonel Sandor)

      4) Jimmy Kimmel’s late night talk show follow-up with a great KFC advertisement. It is rolling-on-the-floor funny. Look it up on YouTube.

      Hope this helps.

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    5. Bott,

      It’s the way he delivered it and the whole conversation leading up to it. It wasn’t just the line, but the entire scene. It was both funny and badass. My favorite scene of the season, and perhaps the entire series.

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    6. I can only go with the Hound’s “What the fuck’s a Lommy?” because watching it for a hundredth time right now still made me laugh out loud. I’m surprised about Loras being there, honestly. It was a great come back, a “sick burn”, but not what I would consider funny. Then there’s Oberyn, whose line, while certainly funny, just can’t compete with the Hound’s comedy gold —most of the lines here are his, and from a single scene, and that’s no coincidence. Just for the record, my second favorite has to be “Lots of cunts.” Although the chicken thing was awesome, it was so as the perfect mix of “funny” and “bad-ass”, while the previous scene was pure comedy. So I hope that, whatever line wins, it’s about the Hound and it involves the Hound and Arya verbally sparring while hiding in the bushes.

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    7. Pfft at all of these choices. I wasn’t around for the prelims, so I’ll just comment here.

      “This is where I fuck his wife, she’s a screamer that one” – Bronn(easily my #1)

      “The Kingslayer Brothers, you like it? I like it” – Tyrion

      “And who are you, his hired killer?” – Oberyn “Started out that way, aye, now I’m a Knight” – Bronn “How did this happen” – Oberyn “Killed the right people I suppose” – Bronn

      “The greatest swordsman who ever lived was killed by Meryn fucking Trant??” “The greatest swordsman who ever lived didn’t have a sword??” – Sandor

      B

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    8. “What the fick’s a Lommy?” made me laugh out loud, so I pick that one. It’s also the funniest line on its own.

      I actually think that the Oberyn line is particularly unfunny. It’s not that it’s badly written or delivered, it’s that it’s part of a sequence meant to mock Tyrion. His line may have made the people at King’s Landing laugh, but it made Tyrion feel terrible, and I think we were supossed to feel his pain, not his mockers’ amusement.

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    9. “I said knock and hold you coonts!!”
      I just pissed myself laughing with this one, I think it was overrated too. But guess I’ll go for the hound in this case

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    10. “…I’m going to eat every fucking chicken in this room…”. Come on man! It can’t get better than that!

      I mean from now on that should be the standard advert for poultry, like “Just Do It” for Nike! Hell this should become the catchphrase for KFC!!!!! LOL!

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    11. There’s also a funniest scene award iirc, and as has been said the chicken-fest and the bush-sparring will be contesters there. I went with Lommy.

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    12. Based on all the comedy gold that was in the early nominations, how are any of these in the top 5? Loras’ line gets my vote as it at least got a little chuckle out of me. The others got a smirk at best. The Lommy line though makes me cringe every time though. It doesn’t even belong in this category, let alone the top 5. Personally I’d be much happier if it never made the script it’s so painful to hear.

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    13. Lollius Palicanus,

      bush-sparring?

      It is incredibly hard to choose between Loras’s golden burn and chickens, but I find a lot of Hound’s lines overrated and unfunny to me, so I guess I will go with ser Loras to balance the scales

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    14. Hodor Targaryen:
      “What the fick’s a Lommy?” made me laugh out loud, so I pick that one. It’s also the funniest line on its own.

      I actually think that the Oberyn line is particularly unfunny. It’s not that it’s badly written or delivered, it’s that it’s part of a sequence meant to mock Tyrion. His line may have made the people at King’s Landing laugh, but it made Tyrion feel terrible, and I think we were supossed to feel his pain, not his mockers’ amusement.

      I don’t see how Oberyn’s line would have supposedly “made Tyrion feel terrible”. Shae’s testimony made him feel terrible, not Oberyn’s line, which only interrupted the sequence of Shae saying hurtful things about him.

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    15. I’m having trouble choosing simply because, while these are all good lines, none of them is something that made me laugh. As a matter of fact, while there are 2-3 lines I would have preferred, I can’t really think of any lines that really made me laugh out loud.

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    16. Colonel Sandor is obviously the funniest line, probably in the entire series, but that Loras clip really makes me want to rewatch the Purple Wedding episode.

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    17. If the Hound’s vote get split and one of the other two wins, I’m going to eat every Lommy in this room.

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    18. Annara Snow:
      I’m having trouble choosing simply because, while these are all good lines, none of them is something that made me laugh. As a matter of fact, while there are 2-3 lines I would have preferred, I can’t really think of any lines that really made me laugh out loud.

      Knock knock…

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    19. “Lots of cunts”. This line made me and my friends guffaw out loud.

      The chickens line was VERY close. The Lommy line was funny too, but slightly less so. Still, it’s so awesome that 3 of the finalists all come from the same episode/scene.

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    20. Turncloak,

      We know that this site couldn’t contain the legendary awesomeness of a Karl Tanner quote but I’ll give you a few

      Fook em til they’re dead!!!

      I could piss in any gutter and sow five of you!

      Fookin cunts!!!

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    21. Annara Snow:
      I’m having trouble choosing simply because, while these are all good lines, none of them is something that made me laugh. As a matter of fact, while there are 2-3 lines I would have preferred, I can’t really think of any lines that really made me laugh out loud.

      Oddly enough I don’t think the show is pitched as a comedy. Fancy that, or maybe it just says more about you…

      Try this: “You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’

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    22. Arya: “Lots of people name their swords.”
      The Hound: “Lots of cunts”

      is pure gold. I’m just sad that the one about the proud Lannister children didn’t make it, it’s my favorite.

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    23. All Hail the Wolf Girl: Oddly enough I don’t think the show is pitched as a comedy.Fancy that, or maybe it just says more about you…

      Try this:“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’

      You don’t say? Gee, and I thought the name of this category was “Funniest quote”, not “Best line” or “Coolest line” or “Best retort”… Guess I was wrong. Oh, wait. It is actually “Funniest quote”. Fancy that.

      Yeah, it does say something about me: it says that I didn’t find any of the lines incredibly funny. Does that personally offend you? Does it ruin your world? I’m not sure what exactly your problem is.

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    24. Annara Snow: You don’t say? Gee, and I thought the name of this category was “Funniest quote”, not “Best line” or “Coolest line” or “Best retort”… Guess I was wrong. Oh, wait. It is actually “Funniest quote”. Fancy that.

      Yeah, it does say something about me: it says that I didn’t find any of the lines incredibly funny. Does that personally offend you? Does it ruin your world? I’m not sure what exactly your problem is.

      No it doesn’t offend me, and no it doesn’t ruin my world. Why should it? You’re entitled to state your opinion. Sense of humour is obviously a personal thing, but I touched a raw nerve it seems. Maybe the poll should have been called “Lines that some may possibly find funny but don’t reach Annara Snow’s standard” 😉

      FWIW I didn’t find the lines “laugh out loud” funny either (great retorts, aye – and one of my fave things is puncturing pomposity and self-importance which these lines did to – IMHO – amusing effect).
      ~
      I went for Arya: “Lots of people name their swords.” The Hound: “Lots of cunts.”
      I found that funny, but then I have do a warped sense of humour…

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    25. King Tommen,

      All the Hound quotes are gold but the other two are puzzling in that they aren’t really funny in the least

      They were funny in a dry, ironic way, in the way that Tyrion’s often are. The Hound had good lines and made me laugh, but these two clicked for me. And Im obviously not the only one 🙂

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    26. Bott,

      Bott, there’s a saying that if you have to explain a joke, well then, it just doesn’t work (which means its just not that funny to a lot of people, including me) so y ou are in good company (tho I did chuckle)

      Actually I like jokes that are funny, that don’t rely on cursing. Not that Im against it, hell I use it all the time. But to me jokes that are gold are ones that rise above that, with plays on words or comments on society. Those tend to work in any language,I’d think

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    27. funniest nod to book-readers:

      “I know you never fucked a bear. You know you never fucked a bear. Right now I don’t want to hear about the bear you never fucked.” -Ygritte

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    28. All Hail the Wolf Girl: No it doesn’t offend me, and no it doesn’t ruin my world. Why should it? You’re entitled to state your opinion.Sense of humour is obviously a personal thing, but I touched a raw nerve it seems. Maybe the poll should have been called “Lines that some may possibly find funny but don’t reach Annara Snow’s standard”

      FWIW I didn’t find the lines “laugh out loud” funny either (great retorts, aye – and one of my fave things is puncturing pomposity and self-importance which these lines did to –IMHO – amusing effect).
      ~
      I went for Arya: “Lots of people name their swords.” The Hound: “Lots of cunts.”
      I found that funny, but then I have do a warped sense of humour…

      Oh maybe… *drumroll* people should be allowed to find something funny or not?

      If not, maybe you could suggest the appropriate procedure that people should undertake in order to find things funny that you think they’re obliged to find funny?

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    29. Out of those ones then the chicken incident.

      Shame that ” Is it over” and Bronn’s “I’d probably go to sleep, but I’m getting old.” didn’t make it. Bit puzzled Oberon and Loras’ made it in there but hey ho, I guess it’s a democracy!

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    30. Ren Snow,

      “Went with Oberyn… the books deserve respect”

      Yes they do. tho I am choosin it because it manages to add a bit of comic relief in a very volitile and dramatic scene. The Bard was so famous for adding that in all of his tragdies, and I thought of all the quotes, it was the best for its purpose.

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    31. Annara Snow: Oh maybe… *drumroll* people should be allowed to find something funny or not?

      If not, maybe you could suggest the appropriate procedure that people should undertake in order to find things funny that you think they’re obliged to find funny?

      Huh? Where did I say anyone was obliged to find anything in this series or anywhere else funny? You didn’t find any of these lines funny – yes we get it and a few others clearly agree with you. The majority of those responding to the poll have no issues with it.

      Just let it go 😉

      Mine is the Furry: I still find sticks up assholes funny.

      We have reached the limits of what we can learn with anal probing

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    32. Hmmm…tough choice between the Hound’s chicken line and Loras’s comeback at Jaime (which was really the only prominent Loras line this season)

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    33. Stannis, Tyrion, Jaime, Margaery and Ygritte were shafted!

      IMO, funniest of the season:

      Stannis: “They don’t have enough men between them to raid a pantry,” and “Cook fish…we’re on an island.”

      Tyrion: “I admired her. She wanted to have me executed, but I admired her” and in reference to Cersei having nothing to do with Joffrey’s murder “which makes it unique as King’s Landing murders go.”

      Ygritte’s “you never fucked a bear” takedown.

      Margaret’s “Oh look, the pie!” is just genius.

      And for sheer glorious phraseology, Jaime’s: “Who gives a dusty fuck!”

      But humor is subjective, of course, and what is popularly considered hilarious does not often scratch my itch.

      P.S. Missed one which is much funnier than the Lommy line, IMO. It’s Locke’s “Who the fuck’s John Snow?” The Lommy line is awkward, as Arya never said that Polliver killed “A Lommy.” She just said “Lommy,” which made it clear she was referring to the formal name of a person.

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    34. I love the Hound’s swordsman line, but I think I’ll have to go with Loras’ sick burn of Jaime. Both made me laugh when I watched them, but I love Loras’ bro-slap at the end, makes it so much more hilarious…

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    35. Disappointed in this. Apparently when you say ‘cunt’ or ‘fuck’ it’s inherently funny. I’ve got nothing against the words, but I’m mature enough not to laugh at their mere mention like a six-year old hearing the word ‘poop’.

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    36. Annara Snow,

      I think Shae’s testimony combined with people laughing at him hurt him. That’s why he threatens everyone in the room at the beginning of his speech. Oberyn making a joke about an intimate moment between them that makes everyone laugh about it just seems to add on the hurt. If I was in Tyrion’s the place the joke and the resulting laughter would have stung.

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    37. BlusterBlaster,

      That’s odd. Why would you automatically assume it was the “fucking” in the “every chicken in the room” line that made at least some of us chuckle? I would have found it just as funny without the F-word. It was the idea behind it, the conversation leading up to it, (who’s really not understanding the situation) and Sandor’s way of making the threat with something as ordinary as a chicken piece and getting his point across.

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    38. No I have to agree with Annara – he wasn’t mad at Oberyn, he was mad at everyone in the world laughing at him since the day he was born. In fact, I suspect that the line was such a throwaway, that he wouldn’ t have even noticed it, so angered was he by Shae’s betrayal

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    39. Went with Oberyn. Who beat Loras by virtue of confusing the hell out of feels when delivering his line. I laughed, felt guilty about it, tried to take the question seriously, then had to laugh again. Loras n Oberyn were the only two ones I kinda felt like voting for.

      Hound humor just isn’t my cup of hilarious tea. Makes me chuckle at best. So am kinda disappointed to see 3 out of 5 finalists be his quotes…especially because to European me, all 3 operate on thesame comedic principle.

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    40. Some people here may not be happy with my opinion, but I just don’t think GoT is a particularly funny show (and no, a show does not have to be a comedy to be really funny from time to time). Least of all when it tries really hard, as last year with the weird Podrick scenes. When we were nominating candidates for various categories, I easily came up with 10-15 great dramatic scenes, and had trouble deciding which 5 to vote for in the preliminaries, some 7-8 great action scenes, 4-5 great CGI scenes, lots of really good quotes, but when it came to comedic scene and funniest quote… I remember I had trouble remembering some.

      I can’t think of any line that was so funny that it made me laugh. Out of the lines that were more or less funny, I’d have voted for the Ygritte/Tormund bear exchange or Tyrion’s “the cripple, the dwarf and the mother of madness” line. Out of these 5, I voted for Oberyn’s, since it’s the only I find somewhat funny – it was so out of place, yet so Oberyn-like, to ask that particular question at such a moment.

      I wish I would find the rest of the lines as funny as most people do. “What the fuck’s a Lommy” in particular doesn’t do anything for me, because, as others have pointed out above, it feels forced – you wouldn’t normally ask that, since Arya said they “killed Lommy” rather than “a Lommy” or “the Lommy”. “Who the fuck’s Lommy” would have made more sense. “Lots of cunts” – OK exchange, but not comedy gold people make it out to be. The line about chicken is a part of a great speech in which Sandor was threatening Polliver and basically telling him eff you, but whether or not the speech itself is funny (to a point, but “funny” isn’t the first thing I’d think about it), the quoted line itself doesn’t make sense taken out of context. That entire scene was very tense, rather than funny, and frankly, the chicken meme that originated from it is a bit annoying. And Loras’ line is a “Oh snap!” moment, an excellent retort, but not something I’d call funny.

      Sorry if that offends anyone’s sensibilities or make them think that I’m somehow arrogant so I think the lines are beneath me (??)… though I have no idea how that even make sense. Does anyone think that I’m forcing myself not to laugh at something because I’m arrogant so I don’t want to give it its due, or something? How would that work?

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    41. “I hate a great many things, but I suffer them all the same” was hilarious to me.

      Of the nominees, I thought it was “chickens” by a comfortable margin.

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    42. Annara Snow:

      I wish I would find the rest of the lines as funny as most people do. “What the fuck’s a Lommy” in particular doesn’t do anything for me, because, as others have pointed out above, it feels forced – you wouldn’t normally ask that, since Arya said they “killed Lommy” rather than “a Lommy” or “the Lommy”. “Who the fuck’s Lommy” would have made more sense.

      That’s exactly why that line is funny. Because of how he phrased the question.

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    43. “What the fuck’s a Lommy?”

      Greatjon of Slumber: That’s exactly why that line is funny. Because of how he phrased the question.

      It wasn’t pissing my pants funny but very droll as was most of that scene with Sandor taking Arya down a peg. I wish the Hound’s Meryn Trant dialogue had made the cut, that did make I laugh.

      Still, the trouble is that GRRM didn’t write and read out most of these lines, if he had they would have been indisputably hilarious.

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    44. Greatjon of Slumber: That’s exactly why that line is funny. Because of how he phrased the question.

      Well duh, obviously that’s what some people find funny. The problem is that how he phrased the question doesn’t really make sense based on how she phrased her line. It only makes sense for him to say that if 1) he misheard her, 2) he’s a bit dumb. Which he’s not supposed to be.

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    45. All Hail the Wolf Girl:

      Still, the trouble is that GRRM didn’t write and read out most of these lines, if he had they would have been indisputably hilarious.

      Yes, that must be it. That’s why so many people attend GRRM’s famous monthly stand-up comedy hours.

      You hit the nail on the head with your amazing abilities of seeing right through all that and realized that only extreme purism (boooo!) and GRRM adoration can make some people do the unimaginable – not find some lines funny even though you find them funny. Clearly, that’s the only logical explanation.

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    46. I love GRRM and the books and I want to be his butt monkey, can’t wait to see what side-splitting gags he has in TWoW.

      BTW – I’ve decided to sell my Hoover … well, it was just collecting dust.

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    47. Annara Snow: Well duh, obviously that’s what some people find funny. The problem is that how he phrased the question doesn’t really make sense based on how she phrased her line. It only makes sense for him to say that if 1) he misheard her, 2) he’s a bit dumb. Which he’s not supposed to be.

      But that’s again exactly what makes it funny. Because it doesn’t exactly make sense.

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    48. Annara Snow: It only makes sense for him to say that if 1) he misheard her, 2) he’s a bit dumb. Which he’s not supposed to be.

      Or if he understands full well that “Lommy” must be someone’s name, and he’s just busting Arya’s chops. Which is almost certainly the case.

      He’s teasing her. To be funny.

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