Wall Nuts: A comic and a photo story of the Dorne plot

Azad Injejikian strikes with an unexpected, 7-page comic, quite possibly his best so far. The first two pages are below.

Enjoy it in full here.

Are you ready for more? Here is another interpretation of the Dorne storyline, leaning decidedly towards the absurd:

Mi sombrero es fantástico, indeed. Click here for the full FB album and have a good laugh.

42 responses

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    1. “Did you see any dogs, wolves, hounds, puppies or other variety of canines on board?”
      “Nope.”
      “Then prepare for battle!”

      LOL I don’t think Yara’s Dreadfort retreat will ever go away.

      Funny stuff. I hope there will be a FB recap. I do enjoy those.

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    2. Dorn is such a bust!
      1) The characters are paper thin and inconsistent with the program’s story line. At the Purple Wedding Tywin and Oberyn discussed Doran’s problems with gout, the fat man’s disease. So they cast a notably slender actor as Doran, a character so disabled by gout that he is confined to a wheelchair. Not an “In Gold We Trust” decision.
      2) The Sand Snakes are paper cut outs played by so far indistinguishable, forgettable actors. If they didn’t have their individual weapons, they would be almost impossible to tell apart. The best acting any of the three of them has done so far is to grimace like New Zealand rugby players starting their pre-match Hakka. Again, doesn’t say much for the casting director. In Gold we have questions?
      3) So far Dorn has been sand dunes and the Water Gardens. I understand the importance and beauty of the Alcazar in Cordoba, but there’s got to be more to Dorn than the one location and maybe the twenty extras we’ve seen so far. If the question is budget, I suggest a little less CGI; I’d like to see Dorn as more than a cardboard cut out.
      4) All the actors in the Dorn sequences are grossly inferior to Pedro Pascal’s work last year. Maybe Pedro raised the bar too high for the rest of the Dornish but maybe one of them might consider a momentary change of expression at some time during the episode.
      Dorn – come for the sun,
      be bored by the acting!

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    3. Ser Marq’s Bowman:
      Dorn is such a bust!
      1)The characters are paper thin and inconsistent with the program’s story line.At the Purple Wedding Tywin and Oberyn discussed Doran’s problems with gout, the fat man’s disease.So they cast a notably slender actor as Doran, a character so disabled by Gout that he is confined to a wheelchair.Not an “In Gold We Trust” decision.

      Gout does not affect only fat people.

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    4. I like to picture my homie lil’ Joff saying “there’s been far too much amusement here today,” every time it’s comics day.

      This weeks’ comics were indeed amusing, but I’m surprised that CoIaF only touched on the Sand Snakes in passing when that (to me) seems like the greatest and best thing to make fun of. It certainly seems like the artist has a pretty significant beef with this storyline if he went off with a seven pager to “fix” it… and yet he only did one panel (and not a particularly zingy one) dedicated to ripping on the Sand Snakes.

      Which brings me to something vaguely resembling my point… I think Dorne-in-general is getting trashed unfairly when the only legitimately awful thing about it has been the Sand Snakes. Granted, they’re a LOT of awful, but is the rest of the Dorne situation really so bad? It’s been a little slow to develop, sure, but Dany has basically been working the same story arc for 4 years so it’s hard for me to take that argument seriously. I’ll admit that certain elements of the dialogue and wardrobe have been sub-par, but the most egregious entries in both of those categories once again fall under the Sand Snakes’ umbrella (or under their random desert tent, as it were).

      For as much as I have hated everything about the Sand Snakes, from producer interpretation down to on-screen execution, I feel like there are still a lot of bright spots (Doran, the execution of the Jaime-Bronn “fanfic”, Doran, the locations themselves, and also Doran) and at some point in the next 4 episodes, something in Dorne will pleasantly surprise me… maybe it will be Doran.

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    5. Ditto with the gout thing, my dad has it… NOT fat by any stretch…

      harma dogememe,
      I agree there’s lots of good things in Dorne – it’s lovely and the look fits in the world and the casting of Doran and Hota is great.

      But… Jaime’s plan is AS stupid as the Sand Snakes one.

      Kill the Princess!
      How? Jump her in daylight and… threaten her? Or kill her? Even the Snakes seem confused.

      Rescue the Princess!
      How? Get goofy disguises that just happen to cover our faces and sneak in during daylight and snatch her while she’s with the heir…

      A plot, a plot! The kingdom of Dorne for a plot!

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    6. Every time the Sand Snakes show up, the program turns into some bizarre, high-budget version of the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

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    7. Haha!
      Generic Sandsnake #1, #2 & #3

      Sandsnakes in the show have been reduced to the role of minions.
      Also, Obara’s accent this episode was pretty lame

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    8. Sand Sakes are just an easy scapegoat. Jaime/Bronn´s plan was as much stupid and their fighting performace as much unconvincing. SS have no characterization, rest of Dornish characters are paper thin. Everything about Dorne feel extremely lazy and cheap. The writing is the worst and as result nobody (directors, editors, actors) have any idea what to do with it. It does not help at all that the new production team is doing Dornish scenes, as well as the new directors to GoT, and the new writer for the episode 4.

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    9. Ser Marq’s Bowman:
      Dorn is such a bust!
      1)The characters are paper thin and inconsistent with the program’s story line.At the Purple Wedding Tywin and Oberyn discussed Doran’s problems with gout, the fat man’s disease.So they cast a notably slender actor as Doran, a character so disabled by gout that he is confined to a wheelchair.Not an “In Gold We Trust” decision.

      Oberyn said that gout is a rich man’s disease (and said Tywin I wonder why you do not have it) not fat man’s. Doran was thin in books as well I believe. And I think the actor is great, I do not think I have seen others complaining about him.

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    10. I just hope they re-introduce the Iron Island and don’t repeat the same mistakes as with Dorne.

      Iron Islands’ plot has so many great moments that could make for good TV.

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    11. Lady Wolfsbane,
      GaiusB,

      That’s fair… it IS a stupid plan, isn’t it? But Cersei, Jaime, and Bronn are all portrayed so well that the suspension of disbelief was effortless for me.

      First, I can accept Cersei coming up with a bad plan… it’s well established that she thinks she’s more clever than she really is. furthermore, she has tunnel vision where protecting her children are concerned.

      I can accept Jaime agreeing to the plan… it’s his last chance to redeem himself to Cersei for freeing Tyrion/do something meaningful as a father.

      I can accept Bronn going along with it… he likes money and stuff, and his motivation was established when Jaime took away his castle and wife and offered him a better castle and wife in exchange for his help.

      On a detail level, yes, it IS hard to buy the idea that Jaime and Bronn wouldn’t come up with anything better than “go to where Myrcella is and we’ll just kind of see what happens.” But they are two dudes, alone in an unfamiliar country with a singular-but-difficult task and no way of knowing what they’ll encounter… it’s actually pretty realistic that they would just start heading in the right direction with the idea of improvising as they go. And at one point on the boat, Bronn straight-up calls the plan out for being terrible, and Jaime doesn’t really have much to say other than “I have to do this” or whatever… so it’s not like we’re expected to believe the characters themselves think the plan is flawless.

      In contrast, the Sand Snakes’ motives and plan aren’t necessarily hard to believe at all… yet they are still more jarring and indigestible than Jaime/Bronn just because the writing and acting and wardrobe and “fighting” have all been so completely outclassed by almost every other element of this show over the last 5 years. Just sad.

      Oh, I will say that the fact that Jaime/Bronn and the SS just randomly happened to be executing the final phase of their respective plans at the exact same time is just really dumb and unforgivable. It’s the sort of thing that should only happen to resolve a half-hour cartoon… or on like a cheesy action show featuring a trio of badass teen sisters with sexy (but impractical) weapons and stilted motivations based on their honor/lineage; it could be called XTREME ADVENTUREZ OF THE SAND SNAKEZ!!!

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    12. harma dogememe,

      Nice defence. En guarde, perry, thrust and all that jazz!

      Bronn’s speech broke the 3rd wall for me. It was a great try, but didn’t work for me. Maybe it did work for unsullied though. Got to go to work, but will think upon other ideas they could have come up with for Jaime and Bronn. They already HAD a great idea for the Sand Snakes (Queenmaker), so I think I’m less forgiving there…

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    13. Dorne overall is the worst thing they’ve done on the show. I think even the biggest show defenders would agree on that. The Jaime/Bronn plot is bizarre and makes little sense. They even admitted as much in the previous episode by having Bronn ask we get Myrcella then what? And Jaime goes I don’t know. The Sand Snakes are a disaster. The acting is awful. I don’t want to be mean to those three women but I can’t lie either when trying to figure out why it’s so bad. The acting is not up to the rest of the show and people an see this. But it doesn’t help them any either when Bryan Cogman writes a scene where they’re sneaking around covering their faces in their own domain. Huh? Plus they’ve established Aero Hota keeps an eye with his men…and yet none of them saw any of these people sneaking around the Water Gardens until the fight starts? And what do Myrcella and Trystane just wander around the Water Garden all day? They’ve been in two episodes and both times they’re aimlessly wandering around the Water Gardens.

      So to defend those three actresses and be fair to them the acting is not great but the writing is even worse. Don’t know what happened with Cogman but his two episodes this season were his weakest.

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    14. Jim,

      I really liked episode 5 – just about half of episode 6 seemed weak. Don’t know if there’s much to be done with the Dorne storyline (as depicted) anyway.

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    15. Ser Marq’s Bowman,

      1. Siddig was an absolute fan-favoreite for the role, you are alone in your dislike for Doran’s casting. And people can have gout and not be fat.

      2. You are criticizing the actresses? Really? Let’s go over all of Jessica’s/Nym’s lines “We might have a problem” “I was not asking, princess”.
      Now for Rosabell’s/Tyene’s “Mom!” “I’m always with you.”
      The only SS that had a number of lines greater than 2 was Obara, and the material Keisha was given felt forced and shallow; and heck, even she did not get that many lines. How the hell are they supposed to play deeply developed and layered characters with that material? (hint: there is no way).

      3. We had literally three (quite short) scenes in Dorne, 11 minutes and 17 seconds counting all of it. What did you expect location-wise (or character-wise, for that matter)?

      4. Pedro and Indira (2 actors) had THE SAME amount of screentime in the 2 first episodes of season 4 than Doran, Aero, Obara, Nym, Tyene, Trystane, Myrcella and Ellaria (8 actors) had in the first 6 episodes of this season. I don’t think I have to explain why you feel Pedro’s portrayal was superior.

      I’m not defending what they did with Dorne, I’m just saying that it’s NOT the actor’s fault, or a problem with the locations. I’m saying it’s the writers and producers fault for not giving enough material for the actors to work with and for this (so far) crazy plotline.

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    16. RandomSand:
      Ser Marq’s Bowman,

      2. You are criticizing the actresses? Really? Let’s go over all of Jessica’s/Nym’s lines “We might have a problem” “I was not asking, princess”.
      Now for Rosabell’s/Tyene’s “Mom!” “I’m always with you.”
      The only SS that had a number of lines greater than 2 was Obara, and the material Keisha was given felt forced and shallow; and heck, even she did not get that many lines.How the hell are they supposed to play deeply developedand layered characters with that material? (hint: there is no way).

      Amen to that.

      I don’t think the problems with the D-line lie with the actresses being particularly bad, but with the writing and small amount of screen time.

      Here’s a dramatic scene by each of the Sand Snakes. Many loved Keisha Castle-Hughes in the Whale Rider and the other two seem okay as well (if not quite good, actually).

      Keisha Castle-Hughes:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftEjH-dit4Y

      Jessica Henwick:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVJRampw9E4

      Rosabella Laurenti-Sellers:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3yCVinRs48

      Hopefully, there should be no more action scenes in Dorne, and things should get more bearable. I doubt there will be sufficient screen for that much character development though.

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    17. RandomSand, Pandemonium,

      I have been a pretty strong critic of the Sand Snakes thus far, all the while strongly defending parts of the story that other people have latched onto as being horrible (Sansa’s rape for one).

      And here I will say you both make pretty good points. It may not matter how good or bad the actresses have been, their screen time has shown us virtually nothing. The writing that tried to push us through their extremely limited “character developmental” time has been the worst I have ever seen on this show. Ever.

      Keisha Castle-Hughes has at least shown she is capable of a few Wu-Shu twirls, and her posture, at the very least, shows the kind of lean athleticism we saw in Pedro Pascal. The “Dornish” accent has been a little sharp, but… the point is made. She is an excellent actress.

      Jessica Henwick… also an excellent actress, but what else can we say? We have seen very little on the show thus far. That’s certainly not her fault. It looks like they cut a scene in which Nym was arguing with Tyene, which probably equates to a large chunk of lost dialogue for them both. Judging from her past work, she can play empathic women with a nice amount of emotion boiling beneath the surface, and is thus pretty badly miscast as “Girl #2 – the one with the whip.” Had the writers stuck to the book version of Nymeria, it may have been closer to showing her strengths. We’ll see if the show lets her grow into this role. I hope Nym has more depth on the show; the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the writers.

      Rosabell Laurenti-Sellers… this, for me, is the hardest one to take. Rosabell is a former child actress, and the problem with child actors is that they usually never quite grow beyond that. Most are not Maisies and Sophies; many are caught in what seem to be perpetual time loops, mugging cutely for the camera and thrusting their jaws out in comical attempts to look “stubborn” or “difficult” when called upon to do so. This isn’t to say she won’t improve. I guess we’ll see.

      But you’re right, both of you. I usually hate blaming the writing, because thus far, five seasons in, this show has given us some of the best writing on television – and that’s including stuff George R.R. Martin did not even come up with. But the Dorne plot has thus far been a mess.

      If all they were going to do was stick weapons in these girls’ hands and create ridiculous fights for them to stumble around in, they should have simply hired stuntwomen. The actresses are wasted in what we’ve seen thus far. And all we have to judge them by is this.

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    18. Axechucker,

      Yeah, I totally agree with you, I feel bad for the actresses for getting so much undeserved hate. Also, what really bothers me about all of this is that they made the decision to actually include this whole new plotline (that eventually would merge with Jaimie’s, but sill) but did not invest nearly enough time for the audience to understand or care for these characters. IMO, you either include it and commit to it or cut it altogether. Now all we can do is hope the dornish plotline improves in these last episodes (and I optimistically believe it will).

      On a sidenote, I have no idea why they would cut parts of their introduction scene (as indicated by that leaked audition for Obara and the promo pic with Nym and Tyene). I mean, that episode, if I reacall correctly, was 51 minutes long, so it was not because of the time, and the final version of that scene felt very, very out ou nowhere and abrupt. Fingers crossed for a drastic improvement on the next episodes.

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    19. RandomSand,

      Agreed. It may be that they wanted to spend as little time at that cheap-looking location (“Three girls on the beach with a pup-tent”) as possible.

      But I would have loved additional dialogue. Maybe even something from that poor ship’s captain. It was obvious to me why Obara felt it was necessary to kill him (they didn’t want anyone else to learn about the Kingslayer’s presence in Dorne) but it’s obvious now from the reaction that almost no one else got it, and that people thought Obara was just trying to be portrayed by the writers some sort of murderous badass. A little more conversation toward that end would have fixed all that.

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    20. How come Doran doesn’t have crazy bloated fingers and feet? That was.. kind of a big part of his character in the books. And it seems like an easy job for prosthetics.

      Have they shown his feet in any of his scenes? Anybody notice anything there? He was shown walking around in flip flops during the early pictures of Siddig in costume; I thought the gout would be in for sure. Maybe they’ll show it closer in an upcoming episode?

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    21. Renly’s Peach,

      Weird hands would have probably been more distracting than anything else. At least for a lot of people. Maybe we’ll get to see the feet though. I guess we’ll see!

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    22. Axechucker,

      Sadly, I must agree. I am a big time show lover, but this is probably the worst arc we’ve seen in 5 years. Even Season 2 Dany and Jon, which people love to hate, I found OK; not particularly good, but serviceable. Dorne, however… What is surprising to me is that I don’t see any reason why they couldn’t make it better. They have Indira Varma, Alexander Siddig, DeObia Oparei, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Jerome Flynn. It’s an embarrassment of riches. These guys could read phone books and sound cool. Only a couple additional character-building scenes would have made all the difference. I don’t get it. Was there some last-minute meddling we know nothing about?

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    23. Mr Fixit,

      It’s possible. Who can say what goes on behind the scenes? I hear some snippets, but that probably only gives me a 10% glimpse into the things that really happen. There’s still 90% that’s all guess.

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    24. Mr Fixit,

      This season seems very odd pacing and editing-wise. I realize there are a lot of different storylines to cover, but I feel like they haven’t been appropriating the right amount of time to each one. Like they don’t have their priorities straight.
      It’s a recurring theme I’ve noticed: scenes and arcs which would be ten times better if they would only get one or two scenes of additional dialogue or exposition. Be it in Dorne, King’s Landing or Winterfell.

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    25. Renly’s Peach:
      Mr Fixit,

      This season seems very odd pacing and editing-wise. I realize there are a lot of different storylines to cover, but I feel like they haven’t been appropriating the right amount of time to each one. Like they don’t have their priorities straight.
      It’s a recurring theme I’ve noticed: scenes and arcs which would be ten times better if they would only get one or two scenes of additional dialogue or exposition. Be it in Dorne, King’s Landing or Winterfell.

      Well, that’s one of the most prominent problems when you write all 10 episodes in advance. You don’t have an opportunity for course correction if something isn’t working. Martin can rewrite and obsess over every word a million times (and even then there are plenty of problems); the show only gets one go.

      That said, this season has been very good in my opinion. The Northern storyline has exceeded all my expectations (I know many don’t agree). Dorne is the only storyline that’s been bad. Though I agree that a couple additional scenes fleshing out the Faith Militant and the underlying causes that led to the Sparrows’ appearance would have been welcome.

      Having known that the Faith would have an important presence in this season, GoT should have perhaps started incorporating this stuff last year. Maybe the dying peasant Hound and Arya come across is instead a mendicant priest (he could even give that beautiful septon Meribald speech). Then in the last episodes of S4, there could have been a throwaway line or two about increasing numbers of priests coming into KL, looking for spiritual guidance and protection of the Faith and common people alike. It would be a nice little tidbit to set up this season’s arc.

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    26. Mr Fixit:
      Having known that the Faith would have an important presence in this season, GoT should have perhaps started incorporating this stuff last year. Maybe the dying peasant Hound and Arya come across is instead a mendicant priest (he could even give that beautiful septon Meribald speech). Then in the last episodes of S4, there could have been a throwaway line or two about increasing numbers of priests coming into KL, looking for spiritual guidance and protection of the Faith and common people alike. It would be a nice little tidbit to set up this season’s arc.

      That’s an issue they’ve been having since Season 2, though. Zero foresight – nothing new. You would think they’d have something to go by. A guide or something. Mayhaps a book, even! Alas, nothing.
      I imagine it’s because (again) they think average Khaleesi-lovin’ Joe won’t remember something from one season to the next.

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    27. Axechucker,

      And I was busy at work and never made it online! But everyone is summing things up very nicely… I mean, what scenery and acting could make up for this stuff?

        Quote  Reply

    28. Nah, the worst thing they’ve done on the show is still s2, “where are my dragons” followed by the butchering of the visions in the House of the Undying. How soon people forget.

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    29. Mr Fixit: Gout does not affect only fat people.

      What?!?! Next you will write that all gay men don’t dress in women’s clothes. Where is our right to uninformed superstitions that we can claim are opinions!?!?!?!?

      Mr Fixit: Having known that the Faith would have an important presence in this season, GoT should have perhaps started incorporating this stuff last year.

      I don’t’ think that would have worked: it would have just slowed the pace with no payoff by the end of the season.

      Moreover, the church has been there in the background all along. There have been constant references to the old gods and new gods. and constant references to the 7. The Church septons have been in scenes often enough in sort of classic medieval clergy regalia. That they might have a populist/fanatic front to them never has been suggested: but, then, in the books it doesn’t come up until now, either.

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    30. Renly’s Peach: I imagine it’s because (again) they think average Khaleesi-lovin’ Joe won’t remember something from one season to the next.

      And given the demographics, they are correct. Again, the biggest watcher are 30-40 something professionals. Such people lead very busy lives and spend little time thinking about things like TV shows.

      So, I will put their shoes on your feet. If you went into their world and made a presentation in which you failed to summarize important details from your presentation to them last year (or even last month), they would slam you for being unprofessional. If you then had the temerity to suggest that they are somehow inferior to you because they don’t remember your stuff from before, then they would either fire you or cease to do business with you. They are paying you to communicate information effectively and succinctly: and as important as Chekhov’s guns are in literature & film, it is nothing compared to what it is like in their worlds.

      This principle gets extended to entertainment. If they are forking out this much money to HBO, then they demand that the entertainment provide what they need to know when they need to know it. Otherwise, they will go elsewhere with their business.

      Seriously, the only people who remember details from SciFi/Fantasy TV or books (or anything else, for that matter) are the hardcore fans. And that is because they revisit those details over and over and over. People who don’t revisit details over and over and over forget those details.

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    31. As a “show defender” it’s worth mentioning that even if dorne is the worst or weakest part of this show, it’s still the best thing on tv.

      Personally I thought the worst actor on this show thus far was the witch that did blood magic for dany in season 1, but the show doesn’t suck just because of a few weak performances in a cast of hundred of actors.

      You nitpickers can’t make up your minds. Is the show shit? Or is dorne just not up to the rest of the show’s amazing caliber?

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    32. asfastasican:
      As a “show defender” it’s worth mentioning that even if dorne is the worst or weakest part of this show, it’s still the best thing on tv.

      Personally I thought the worst actor on this show thus far was the witch that did blood magic for dany in season 1, but the show doesn’t suckjust because of a few weak performances in a cast of hundred of actors.

      You nitpickers can’t make up your minds. Is the show shit? Or is dorne just not up to the rest of the show’s amazing caliber?

      Relax, man. For some will be the former, for some the latter, and for most something in between.

      Hope your black&white head doesn’t explode after discovering the reality (and the beauty!) of grey 😉

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    33. Wow, some very good points in the discussion here. And before I forget, nice comic and mariachi band up there in the post.

      I agree with many saying the two ‘rescue attempts’ for Myrcella have been weird, while Doran was fine.

      To go more in depth, Jaime’s plan (or rather the absence of it) could be more or less believable if they actually had to improvise. But no, they conveniently get Dornish guard costumes and enter absolutely unprotected Water Gardens where the heir to Dorne resides – among other notable figures, like the current ruler of Dorne (and all that right after Doran stresses the importance of protecting Myrcella and Trystane).

      Ellaria’s plan (enacted by the Sand Snakes) is a little more believable, afterall they know the place. They could obviously sneak in and kindap Myrcella. But why the heck do they act in absolutely the opposite way to what we were led to believe Dorne represented. They were ready to fight Dornishmen and their uncle in order to kidnap and possibly maim a young girl. Oberyn would be glad, really.
      And on top of that, there are Obara monologues… Why did they make the actress say (and repeat) things everyone must obviously know already?!

      It’s a pity really. I even liked the Sand Snakes introductory scene… up until the Obara monologue.
      And the note about possibly poor editing: I remember feeling like the episode with the reborn Faith Militant and Sand Snakes (should be ep. 4 if I recall right) was seriously badly cooked up in that regard. It was very jarring in that seemingly not one, but several scenes felt missing to me.

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