The Tweets – Part 1

Gold Company King's Landing The Bells

We ’bout that Tweet life. I got no time or room to explain this to you.

I am @Axechucker of @WatchersOTWall. Follow us on Twitter. For fun!

Let’s go.

So everyone was still talkin’ ’bout last week…

I would have paid top dollar to have seen Jon try to pet Sandor.

Prior to the ep, I asked everyone what they thought the episode title was going to be:

Basically.

People were HYPED (or TERRIFIED) prepping for the coming ep.

Hot Sports Moment of the Week:

…The Houston Rockets were then summarily booted from the playoffs.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

Know what else we were looking forward to?

Fucking. Confirmed.

And now, courtesy of House Sears, a quick view into the future—a snapshot of the fandom during this episode:

(I laughed much harder than I should have, probably…)

Uh, so… this warning came through before the ep:

Yes. I was worried.

There were a few Mother’s Day wishes…

lol

“Previously on Game of Thrones…”

And then… IT WAS TIIIIIME.

But first, a self-help / mental health message from management:

BOW DOWN, YE SHITS.

They’re BOTH Queen Cersei! Don’t make me choose!

Miguel Sapochnik directed this. Of course you realize, this means WAR!

So we opened in Dragonstone, and Varys was writing letters…

NO NO NOOOOOOOOO!!!

#BANNED

I imagine Dragonstone in winter is akin to the coast of Maine in late autumn.

I’d be wearing a coat. But I’m sensitive.

Wait, what was this kid’s name…?

So Jon finally arrived on Dragonstone, and a friendly spider is there to greet him!

“I still don’t know where her coin has landed…”

No, Jon does NOT want the throne. Tyrion was of course watching, and he then went to Dany…

She had seen better days.

So Varys was back in his chamber later that night…

…and bootsteps approached.

Grey Worm came for that dude.

And on the shores of Dragonstone, in the deep of the night…

…Yeah. On the plus side, Dany’s coat looked super lovely!

FWHOOSH.

The Pyre that was Promised?

R.I.P. Varys.

Conleth Hill, you’re a legend!

From that fire, we had a nice transition to the fireplace inside…

I mean, Missandei had clothes too. She didn’t come to Westeros buck naked with just a damn collar!

Jon entered.

“All right then. Let it be fear.”

Wow, Shelly.

He knows nothing.

So then later, in the Dragonstone throne room…

“If you hear them ringing the bells, call off the attack.”

I’m sure we’ll never hear that again.

On the shore, Davos received Jon and Tyrion…

“I’m not gonna like this favor, am I?”

Nope.

Arya and Sandor arrived! And there was (some) rejoicing.

Right? Did Sansa confiscate those faces she found? Before this thing ends, we HAVE to see at least ONE more face… usage… thing?

Soon after, Tyrion botched Valyrian…

I have… no idea why they all marched off immediately afterwards.

But hey, he got in to see Jaime…

Basically his kink by now.

“One not particularly innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade.”

So DAYTIME ARRIVES, aka “We’re actually going to be able to see this battle.”

Iron Fleet seemed ready.

Scorpions seemed ready.

The Golden Company seemed ready.

(They were not ready.)

Irish extras.

But this is Dry County; soon he’ll be Burning For Love, going out in a Blaze of Glory, and won’t even get to hear the Bells of Freedom. But that’s The Price of Love.

He won’t Bounce back.

Arya and the Hound entered the city!

Meanwhile, up on high in the Red Keep…

Cersei looked ready! And fashionable!

Outside the front gates…

We got yet another reminder of ringing bells.

(The bells mean surrender and the crypts are safe!)

Inside, Hound and Arya get inside the keep before the gates close…

But Jaime didn’t make it in.

There were questions regarding a certain Green Bay Packers quarterback sneaking into this ep…

Surprise! He’s a Lannister bowman!

Out in the bay…

It’s our favorite pirate and his Iron Fleet!

SHE COMIN’ FOR YOU, SON. OUT OF THE SUN!!!!

HEEEEEERE’S DROOOOGOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Hopefully not sneaking aboard one of those burning ships!

My reaction was basically: HOLY HELL.

(And so much for being worried about those scorpions.)

Fool’s Gold.

Grey Worm then took out the short-lived Harry Strickland.

DOTHRAKI WERE IN THE STREETS!!!

(Seriously no one made a “Dothraki in the streets, ____ in the sheets” joke I feel like I don’t know y’all any more)

Cersei watched the mayhem. They comin’ for you, boo.

lol right?

At ground zero, Tyrion was wandering the soot like a drunken man yet again…

It’s kind of his thing now.

In the streets marched Jon and Grey Worm… and… Davos?

Suddenly it was a Stark-Lannister standoff!

The Lannister forces surrendered…

And then…

The Bells rang out.

To Be Continued…

11 responses

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    1. Once again, Axey, thank you for these. I can only imagine the amount of time and work and editing prowess it takes to compile this stuff. But if it means anything to you at all, the laughs you provide me with these articles bolster my spirits immensely, mine and everyone else’s.

      Someone said honor Ramin D for the music. Oh yes, he tells you the story if you listen closely enough. Did anyone notice that the beautiful Jon/Daenerys theme was played near the beginning, but it was a bit out of tune? Purposely out of tune, just a bit warped. There’s some foreshadowing for you. Ramin is a musical genius.

      I howled out loud at the pics of the billboard and of Tormund and Ghost sledding.

      Liza Kate
      @lizakatheriine
      Tyrion is like oh shit Varys was right oops #gameofthrones
      Yeah, unfortunately, so was old man Tarly. Not about Sam, lord no, but about Dany. Oh well.

      And then the bells rang out … and worse shit went down. Looking forward to the next installment Axe, thanks again.

        Quote  Reply

    2. Thronetender,

      Thank you for the kind words. The fun part is the gathering. That’s like hours and hours of giggling in my lair.

      The work comes in deciding what and where to cut.

        Quote  Reply

    3. Axechucker: The fun part is the gathering. That’s like hours and hours of giggling in my lair.
      The work comes in deciding what and where to cut.

      Yep, Editing prowess, masterfully done. And what a great mental picture of you “giggling for hours and hours” in your lair. What fun it would be to watch you doing that. Carry on, oh Axechucker

        Quote  Reply

    4. The show has been hinting at Dany going mad since the beginning. Just listen to the song “ Dracarys” that plays when she takes the unsullied in Astopor. It is a straight up villain theme. Visually you see someone liberating slaves, but I think when people rewatch the series they will hear that music and go damn, that’s a conqueror acquiring an army.

      I even played the song for my mom who has only seen each episode once and she said it reminded her of Scar from the Lion King.

        Quote  Reply

    5. Axechucker,

      Ha! I’ve been pretty busy in the frog-imfested swamplands with the Reeds and predominantly lurking on WiC/WOTW the last ten years.

      I’m so grateful to everyone in reminding me why I love the story & fandom over the years! @rygar quips included <3

      Stay strong for Sunday, folks!

        Quote  Reply

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