Tweets from the Harpy

mascara-angry-birds-azulTwicka-twicka-twicka- Twitter post!

Because it’s Tuesday! (Yay Tuesday!)

(I don’t have a proper Cinco de Mayo joke for the lot of you. Sorry.)

This is what you’re here for!

(Here’s to hoping a slimmer post makes Storify better…If you can’t view it here, try it over at Storify itself.)

@Axechucker! #GameOfThrones! #SonsOfTheHarpy!

More gibberish!

And….


Go.

The Harpy tweets!

https://storify.com/Axechucker/tweets-from-the-harpy

84 responses

Jump to (and Always Support) the Bottom

    1. Premislaus:
      Something’s not working!

      Your face isn’t working!

      I’m just kidding. Your face probably totally works. I don’t even know your face, really.

      We’re having slight issues. Please Stand By. Breep!

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    2. Somehow I would think Loras would like prison.

      Oh look, it’s the gay-people-like-prison-rape joke I was waiting for.

      Not.

      /will take my bitter self of to westeros.org

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    3. I expected some Gendry comments when it opened with the boat. I was thinking along the lines of “Hey look, Gendry was rowing around so long he’s an old man now!”

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    4. Invitation always open to DC people and assorted visitors: watching together is a lot of fun (and a lot of alcohol but I digress)

      Always an honor, Ser Kenny

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    5. I like the tweet from “Daughter of da Harpy” that implied that D&D are killing off characters before their time as a form of retribution thrown at GRRM for not finishing TWoW.

      Loras, Bronn…beware…

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    6. And seriously, if y’all haven’t tried viewing it through the SLIDESHOW format, you may be missing a treat.

      Takes longer, but… it’s more visual.

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    7. Axey, I can’t be the only one who wants to cuddle Mace when he lights up like a child on Christmas morning at having his very own Kingsguard.

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    8. Only wacky GoT twitter people could have me thinking about bronys in relation to Westeros. Kudos.

      Nonsensical is the perfect word for the ending. I will still champion my mini-idea that the exact same scene with the Grey Worm and Selmy defending a dragon assassination attempt (cheaply implied offscreen) could have fixed everything. Boo… I – book person that I am – don’t mind the deaths in theory. Just the presentation.

      Jaime dying in Brienne’s arms though! WTGoTF? Noooooo! Bad idea!

      And we HAVE already established that people in Westeros occasionaly do turn down wine sometimes… or at least they try to?

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    9. I agree about the ending. I liked it in theory and I loved the outcome (the music when Barristan starts fighting – oh my), but some noblemen in dresses almost getting in as many kills as a group of freaking Unsullied?

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    10. zambi76: Oh look,it’s the gay-people-like-prison-rape joke I was waiting for.
      Not.
      /will take my bitter self of to westeros.org

      Yeah, Axey, I was really disappointed you bothered to include that one…

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    11. I stand by calling a Selyse a cow even if cows are not mean to their young.

      Thanks for this week’s round up and including me in it, Axey!

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    12. Really? Tweets are the shiz and always will be. I am a fan and wish I could join in with ya!!

      PS I had no problems with loading the pages. *nods*

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    13. zambi76, Cary Storm,

      I’m more surprised by the lack of general offense at the dwarf-tossing quip, which was actually mine, as opposed to being someone else’s!

      But there’s still time.

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    14. With the brothel scene and all the boats, I’m kind of surprised no one went with this:

      Thanks, as always, for all the laughs. This recap always makes my day. 🙂

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    15. Ha, also guilty of drunk tweeting Cogman. And changing my twitter photo just in case Cheese Boy saw what I said.

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    16. After several weeks of this format, I just don’t like it at all. It went from being short, sweet and funny to being overly long and too many complaints. I wish they would change it back to how it was before.

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    17. Johan Sporre:
      I agree about the ending. I liked it in theory and I loved the outcome (the music when Barristan starts fighting – oh my), but some noblemen in dresses almost getting in as many kills as a group of freaking Unsullied?

      We don’t know who they are. They could be sellswords, for all we know.

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    18. A man is not on twitter so, I’ll ask it here – Was Mace trolling SNL with the “Or I’ll have words with my daughter” quip – Weekend Update Jacob?

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    19. Loved the recap, Axey. This time sadly better than the episode, I’d say.

      Although I don’t see why there’s so much hate towards the Unsullied losing the close quarters fight. Or Barristan losing as well. That all made sense given the weaponry and style of combat. There were far worse parts in the episode.

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    20. Ah, Mereen. Where Dany is completely bewildered that eviscerating a people’s entire way of life is met with resistance.

      Hee! Awesome.

      But yeah, I wasn’t too keen on the prison rape joke either.

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    21. Did I read it too fast or is there not actually a joke about rape? They mentioned prison. The joke being that Loras wouldn’t mind being around only men, in prison.

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    22. Sue the Fury:
      Did I read it too fast or is there not actually a joke about rape? They mentioned prison. The joke being that Loras wouldn’t mind being around only men, in prison.

      Oh, my sweet summer child…

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    23. Noice!
      Best Axechucker Response, 1st Runner Up: Long and insightful explanation of Littlefinger’s explanations.

      Winner: ‘Thanks Obara’.
      Thanks Axey!!!

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    24. Great recap! Had me laughing out loud like a loon, as usual. Storify working great for me on IE and Android phone.

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    25. I still don’t completely get the dramatic “GRRM kills” jokes. It really isn’t that bad.

      So far, the only truly beloved major characters to be killed were the Starks. If anything, I think that major character deaths have been lacking as of late and there’s buildup to the point that I’m starting to think that we won’t lose the majority of the characters left.

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    26. Posting here since this is the most recent thread, with an observation regarding 05×04:

      Did anyone else think there might be an intentional parallel drawn between LF’s story of Rhaegar choosing Lyanna and leading to mass destruction with LF’s (speculated) “choice” of Sansa and how many people he is willing to let die for *that* choice? I did not get the sense that LF was making this connection, but rather the writer of the episode. Of course, it depends on LF’s future plans, but if he is doing all of this to eventually try and be king and queen of the seven kingdoms with Sansa, I think it might be a little foreshadowing.

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    27. Sue the Fury:
      Did I read it too fast or is there not actually a joke about rape? They mentioned prison. The joke being that Loras wouldn’t mind being around only men, in prison.

      You’re right in a way, but jokes about prison rape are so common that I simply read the sentence as a shortcut. That it didn’t even need to be stated.

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    28. Sue the Fury:
      Did I read it too fast or is there not actually a joke about rape? They mentioned prison. The joke being that Loras wouldn’t mind being around only men, in prison.

      Okay, perhaps I read an implication there that was unintentional. I…sort of doubt it, though? It’s an old joke that is often made about gay men, and usually the (gross and homophobic) logic to the “humour” is the implication that of course a gay man would enjoy being raped in prison.

      If in fact people really do neither intend nor even read that implication lurking beneath the surface of such a joke anymore, then…that’s truly awesome, actually. Seriously. Perhaps it’s a generational thing, and Simeon and I are just showing our age. Back in my day, it was a homophobic “joke” that you heard not infrequently whenever an out gay man being sentenced to a prison term was in the news.

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    29. Great post as always. Tweets are sometimes better than the episodes.

      caseywojtek
      Caseu [email protected]

      WHAT THE FUCK THE FUCK IS HAPPENING #SmugBookNerd IS NOT SMUG #GameOfThrones

      My sympathies. And it’s just beginning. Poor guy better brace himself. (If he decides to keep watching, that is. Wouldn’t be surprised it he doesn’t.)

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    30. Since the Faith of the Seven is the Westerosi analogue to the Catholic Church, and the leader of the Sparrows is now High Septon of said faith, I’d say it’s hard to say they’re Protestants. Although there is some resemblance to certain radical strains of Protestantism.

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    31. Leprechaun’s everywhere finally feel they have a hero they can relate to!

      Yup.. -.-

      About the prison-joke, at least it’s good to know that despite the joke being made, no one found it funny. It’s 2015, people with a sexual orientation other then what was once supposedly the norm and people of color have made it quite clear that they don’t take offensive jokes lightly.

      That being said, as a white heterosexual male psychopath, I really feel that the way D&D have written Ramsay is offensive to my very nature. Good grief the constant going for the sausage-quips! So I don’t think there’s much difference there.

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    32. I don’t know, I think in the previous episode, Daario did a fair amount of work to point out the weaknesses of unsullied training. Like, yeah, they’re BAMFs, but still, anyone can be killed.

      Thanks for including me, Axey!

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    33. TOIVA:
      Loved the recap, Axey. This time sadly better than the episode, I’d say.

      Although I don’t see why there’s so much hate towards the Unsullied losing the close quarters fight. Or Barristan losing as well. That all made sense given the weaponry and style of combat. There were far worse parts in the episode.

      What didn’t make sense is that Grey Worm is the leader of the Unsullied. He shouldn’t have been out patrolling at all. And Ser Grandfather (1) shouldn’t have been wandering the streets solo, and (2) without his damn armour. We all know he knows better than that. Sloppy writing to MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. Ugggh, I have never once complained about the writing in this show, but that was just baaaaad.

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    34. Axey, a few thoughts on your thoughts:

      I’m more perplexed at the setup. Hopefully more questions will be answered in episode 5, but it just felt bizarre: like the Sons of the Harpy went to all this trouble just to kill a cadre of fully armed and armored Unsullied.

      I don’t agree. Does Daenarys Targaryen, without the protection of her dragons, really want to fight a war of attrition on her streets, seeing Unsullied get picked off a few at a time, in a city that isn’t hers? That’ s the thing about terrorism; it’s meant to inspire terror, not that the Harpies expect to kill off everyone, but you make them afraid enough to patrol, and you undermine her rule, that’s the goal. A perfectly achievable goal. Why Grey Worm is out patrolling as the leader of the Unsullied is the more perplexing part.

      Jury’s still out, but this made me a little nervous for their future.

      How do you feel about Yara Greyjoy after her first appearance, though? To me, she was letter-perfect.

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    35. Great job as always Axey/FaB

      OK people that think Book LF is “subtle” are so super wrong. His moustache is about 100% twirlier than the TV version. Not to mention he’s WAY WAY WAY WAY CREEPIER! You don’t see Show!LF telling (13 year old) Sansa to come sit in Daddy’s lap and give him a kiss and then complain that it’s too dutiful (aka she should use more tongue next time) *VOMIT*

      In fact, Show!LF possibly might actually help bring the Starks back into power… I actually don’t want him to crash and burn yet. Maybe I don’t even mind if Sansa falls for him a bit (before – inevitably – she finds out about Ned and stabs him through the belly to slowly bleed to death…).

      engage curmudgeon mode:
      ok can someone explain what is “Bae”? Is it just short for “Baby”?
      But then that doesn’t make sense because it seems to be used both as a noun and an adjective e.g. “X is so Bae” and “Hey Bae” OK thanks for entertaining old people questions.
      /curmudgeon mode

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    36. Gentle folk,

      Most sex in prison is actually consensual (though probably not very sensual). I’ll just leave that at that.

      Greatjon of Slumber,

      The odds were not in the Sons’ favor. It’s a television trope to ratchet up tension just for the sake of ratcheting it up, and this is an example of doing precisely that. This may be on the writer (I am a little disappointed with Dave Hill) or the director, but either way, the assaulting Sons’ did the one thing they shouldn’t have done, which was to allow the Unsullied to form up. The knives should have been swarming immediately, not pausing for some tense showdown. Once they formed up, spear-wielding, shield-bearing, armored soldiers should have cut through robed men with little trouble.

      And who are these robed men? I’m going with the caveat that their ranks may be filled with the gladiators that are trying to get the pits to re-open, which would explain their fighting ability, but if that’s the case then as soon as one is dead and identified, it seems to me Queen Daenerys would be less inclined to reopen the pits. Not very smart, politically. (Not that I would expect pit-fighters to be politically savvy.)

      On the other side of it, had the Sons actually utilized their momentary advantage, the Unsullied were unsuitably equipped for combat in any place narrower than the long hall they found themselves trapped in. When Dany bought the Unsullied it was specifically stated that they were trained from a very early age in the short sword. Short swords, in our world, were historically used by street guards (the Romans being one fine example) who knew they would be patrolling many places where longer weapons might be useless. And yet the Unsullied only used spears.

      I’m not nitpicking for nitpicking’s sake, I’m just saying why it did not sit well with me. One or two little glitches… okay. That’s television. But in my view the scene had both the Sons and the Unsullied choosing poorly, and it therefore stretched past the point of believable for me.

      You’re right in saying the Sons of the Harpy are terrorists, but they’re not religious fanatics – they want Dany out of their city, I seriously doubt they’re looking to die martyrs deaths. The smartest way to go about that is to take them out where you have a distinct advantage. And two-to-one in a large hall whilst wearing robes is not that.

      I’m not even mad Barristan is (99.9% likely) dead and Grey Worm is possibly also on a slab somewhere. This is Game of Thrones; they have to die sometime. Best give them a nice onscreen death. We only have 26 episodes left to tell the entirety of ASoIaF. (Allegedly.) I just didn’t find the scene credible.

      As to Yara, I think she’s great. The speech she gave in the scene prior to turning tail and running off without Theon was fantastic, and I wish we had been able to see the original scene Bryan Cogman scripted. I’m hoping season 6 gives us some more Krakens. I think Balon Greyjoy is still alive so that his death (if it ever even happens) can happen onscreen – and possibly introduce a new player to the tale. But who can say?

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    37. People need to lighten up. Everyone’s sacred cow is going to get roasted once in a while. If a comment can be taken as offensive or innocent I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt. We all will likely need it sometime unless your righteous as a Sparrow.

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    38. Darkstar,

      Grey Worm has been very hands on with all of the Unsullied tasks before. When he’s not with Daenerys or Missandei, he’s with his brothers in arms.

      Though you have a point with Barristan. He probably should have been better prepared to solo wandering in the streets. Yet I still can explain that happening: Till the events in this episode, Sons of the Harpy only dared to attack and kill a lone Unsullied that was, let’s say, not ready to fight back at the moment. Daenerys and her ‘council’ apparently underestimated the threat. They possibly thought having Unsullieds patrol the streets would dissuade anyone from another attack. Even more so by daylight. And Barristan would normally be able to withstand an ambush long enough to call for help.
      As for Barristan not having armor on and recklessly charging towards the terrorists, I’ll say that was at least in part caused by his good memories of the Rhaegar times he’d just described to Daenerys. He was gonna sing to people, not fight. With such thoughts o his mind, he made mistakes…

      So again, I’m fine with the happenings in Mereen (barring one thing: How come there are so many very similar or same golden masks available there? Unless those were traditionally used in some ritual before Daenerys conquered the city, I’ve trouble understanding how someone could have them made in such numbers in secret since.).

      However I have big trouble believing the Faith Militant would organise so quickly in King’s Landing. The Obara monologue felt very jarring. And most weird of all: the planned arrival of Jaime and Bronn in Dorne didn’t make sense. That’s which scenes killed the episode for me.

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    39. http://winteriscoming.net/2015/05/06/george-r-r-martins-editor-is-unhappy-with-game-of-thrones-departures-from-the-books/

      Benioff and Weiss have committed nothing short of blasphemy with their increasingly weak adaptation. They should remove the false advertisement in the opening credits that says “based on ASOIAF novels by GRRM.”

      The author of the article titled “What if Season 5 Sucks?” no longer has to wonder hypothetically. It sucks. It’s bad writing optimized. The actors are speaking out, fans are speaking out, George and his editor are speaking out. A once promising and beautiful show (season 1) has turned into an endless, tawdry, cliche action movie. #gameofthronesseason5 #major-disappointment

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    40. Storify works best if you have a solid hour that you can just sit there and watch the slide show uninterrupted. For reading the twitter post in bits and pieces over the course of a day on multiple devices, the old way was much better.

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    41. And most sex in prison being consensual is making nasty dumb gay jokes about it less offensive how?

      Including it is one thing, but now trying to defend it (Axey) or claiming it means something totally different (Sue) is really wow just wow?

      /yeah, I know, really should have stayed at westeros.org

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    42. Young Griff,

      Well, my displeasure with the manner of Ser Grandfather’s death aside, his death itself doesn’t overly disturb me. He probably dies in TWOW anyways, so D & D just made it happen earlier.

      And of course, the books editor is going to say read the books if one wants the “real” story; her job kind of depends on people reading the books.

      Elio & Lindaaaaaa can suck it…………………………………..

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    43. More like way too much of that kind, A Man Grown.

      But I get it, I’m just a humorless party pooper and will fuck off (to bed) now.

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    44. I’m one of the people who had trouble with storyify the other weeks and it actually worked really well for me on my iPhone this week. I started reading Tuesday evening and was able to come back Wednesday afternoon without a glitch. I appreciate the continued attempts at working this new system out -though I understand how it can be frustrating for everyone as it was frustrating for me other weeks. I wonder if D&D are doing something that they have heard works well in fantasy settings: without knowing where the story goes and left to their own devices could they be pulling a J. K. Rowling? I.e. – killing off all the people Dani holds dear and requires as mentors and support systems much like J.K. killed off all of Harry Potter’s mentors and protective friends from Sirius Black to Dumbledore in a “coming-of-age so he could win the final battle” type thing? I’m not saying this is good writing (for GoT or anyone necessarily), I’m just saying that it is a well-known popular trope since the massively successful Harry Potter and, without George’s direction it could be a possible avenue of coming-of-age for Daneyres they are trying – starting with Grey Worm and Ser Barristan. Hearing all about her brother the hero/poet is kind of like Harry hearing about and idolizing his dead parents he never knew too…
      At 27 I don’t think I’m a curmudgeon, and maybe I just fail because I went to high school abroad, but I too do not understand the noun/verb “Bae” other than extrapolating from these Twitter contexts?

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    45. I’m pretty sure “bae” stands for “before anyone else”, but it still doesn’t make all that much sense in context half the time it’s used.

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    46. A Man Grown,

      Hahahaha…I thought it was short for “babe,” as in “he (or she) is my babe.” Then again, that was just what I guessed, and I’m old, so what do I know?

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    47. I have nothing but praise for the way you collect these tweets every week, Axechucker. They’re a hugely enjoyable addition to my week.

      That being said, the tweet about Loras enjoying prison was as unfunny as it was ugly. Surely you don’t have to include all the hashtagged tweets!

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    48. Sorry–I see this has already been discussed back and forth, a little heatedly. I guess if I had to add anything, it would just be to point out that jokes that feel ‘harmless’ or just ‘politically incorrect’ to straight people, feel very different to the rest of us. Just be mindful of that. I doubt the intended meaning of the original tweeter, as it is without context, was anything but about prison rape.

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    49. I feel like it would have been easier to just say, “yeah, you’re right, the prison rape joke i endorsed on a whim probably sucked to a lot of people. sorry about that.”

      pretending like the joke about prison rape was not a joke about prison rape is just absurd and compounds the offensiveness by insulting the intelligence of people who felt strongly enough about it to call you out on it.

      for future reference, 0% of everyone everywhere assumes you’re talking about consensual sex between happy, well-adjusted folks when you make a “gay dudes + prison” joke.

      now me personally, i like your twitter roundups and i don’t feel strongly about anything. really, i just love to watch myself type on the internet. asdf.

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    50. D&D already know the major tentpole moments in the show (I’m assuming the finales for seasons 5, 6, and 7, with maybe 1 or 2 mid-season events), so as long as they hit those then the story should be fine. I hope they kill every other person on this show in horrible unexpected fashion, the tears from book readers are great.

      “THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BOOKS!” My understanding is that the books actually peaked with Storm of Swords, and books 4 and 5 were, in so few words, “kind of ass.” They should change anything and everything to keep things moving.

      Whatever Barriston’s role was in the plot, there’s clearly other characters that can perform his role if need be. Who gives a fuck about him, there’s like 15 other characters that rank ahead of him in terms “this person matters in the plot.”

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    51. Re: the Sons of the Harpy scene — it wasn’t just Grey Worm’s group. They cut away to two other groups so I got the impression this was happening across the city.

      Re: realism in that scene, I think people are way too caught up in movie thinking. The Unsullied are “the best soldiers in the world” because of their discipline and their shield wall tactics — not necessarily because they are amazing individual fighters. They were outnumbered 3-4x in close quarters and were being attacked from both sides. Barristan may be a hell of a fighter, but he’s like 60, had no armor on, and was wildly outnumbered when he arrived.

      I know in movies dudes fight over like 60 guys, but that would never happen. The primary advantage individual combatants had in this era was armor and horses — not necessarily training. People don’t beat numbers that way. Even in the books, Barristan wins his big fight at the end of Dance because he’s armored and his opponent isn’t.

      If anything, Barristan and Grey Worm took down more than they should have. Well, that and Grey Worm is obviously not very quick on the old ambush uptake.

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    52. Kappa:
      D&D already know the major tentpole moments in the show (I’m assuming the finales for seasons 5, 6, and 7, with maybe 1 or 2 mid-season events), so as long as they hit those then the story should be fine. I hope they kill every other person on this show in horrible unexpected fashion, the tears from book readers are great.

      “THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BOOKS!” My understanding is that the books actually peaked with Storm of Swords, and books 4 and 5 were, in so few words, “kind of ass.” They should change anything and everything to keep things moving.

      Whatever Barriston’s role was in the plot, there’s clearly other characters that can perform his role if need be. Who gives a fuck about him, there’s like 15 other characters that rank ahead of him in terms “this person matters in the plot.”

      I always love when people who haven’t read the books make assumptions about them.

      Feast and Dance aren’t anywhere near “ass.” What was unique about Storm and the other early books is that they appealed to a wide range of people. Readers who love interesting characters, shades of grey in ethics, always being surprised, non-stop action, badass fight scenes, psychotic villains, etc., were all well served.

      But Books 1-3 were essentially Act 1. There was a heavy climax that ends with Jon Snow as LC, Dany over Mereen, Tywin Lannister dead, etc.

      Books 4&5 are a little long, introduce a bunch of new characters and probably could have been edited down a bit. But they are fantastic character development, they have more plot than people want to admit (nearly all of your major plot points this season will be from the books — with whole storylines excluded) but it’s essentially a pause in the story intentionally, for pacing, for character development, for world building and more subtlety. I personally think they are amazing, intriguing, and more thought provoking than the first 3.

      That all said, you can completely see why the combined the two into a season. half the characters aren’t in Feast and for most of the characters the books are essentially one plotline for each character. There’s not a lot of halfway points in these arcs that you could use as a season ending point. The size (2 books) comes from the fact that characters diverge — Tyrion’ storyline is longer in the books and Sam, Sansa, Jamie, and Brienne’s storylines aren’t co-located with the storylines they are with in the show, and there’s 1-3 whole new character groups completely and utterly cut depending on your point of view.

      In other words, the world — one in which the show already gives 5 minutes a character a show — expanded. It would have been impossible to do.

      But that all said, Barristan is a great character in the book and his Dance storyline is actually pretty cool both on face value and in depth.

      I’m not sure why we have to blame someone for missing it. It doesn’t ruin the show. But I would have loved to see it even if I understand it is more or less impossible at this point.

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    53. Young Griff:
      http://winteriscoming.net/2015/05/06/george-r-r-martins-editor-is-unhappy-with-game-of-thrones-departures-from-the-books/

      Benioff and Weiss have committed nothing short of blasphemy with their increasingly weak adaptation. They should remove the false advertisement in the opening credits that says “based on ASOIAF novels by GRRM.”

      The author of the article titled “What if Season 5 Sucks?” no longer has to wonder hypothetically. It sucks. It’s bad writing optimized. The actors are speaking out, fans are speaking out, George and his editor are speaking out. A once promising and beautiful show (season 1) has turned into an endless, tawdry, cliche action movie. #gameofthronesseason5 #major-disappointment

      Jane Johnson is not Martin’s editor in the sense you mean. She’s his british editor, not the one he actually works with to…you know…edit his books.

      She’s more appropriately a publisher in the sense of how she interacts with George.

      As for the rest of your post, eh, this season has been awesome, changes and all.

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    54. I do enjoy these conversations, actually, as well as discussing what, exactly, people find offensive. It’s an odd fascination of mine.

      I am going to offend a lot of people by saying this, but I don’t care what offends you. Any of you. Unless I am spitting an insult directly into your proverbial eye, I don’t personally believe you have any actual grounds to be offended. That’s just how I think.

      (I realize I am in the extreme minority with this kind of thinking. Outvoted by the general American populace to be sure!)

      Last year I offended… multiple somebodies… by posting a tweet that contained the N-word used by a black man in reference to Bronn being one of his… favorite characters, I guess we’ll say?

      The year before I offended the Far Right by suggesting the Tea Party did not like gay people. And so forth and so on.

      Shall we list the number of people who may have been offended this week? Let’s do that!

      (And hell, might as well apologize while I’m at it.)

      Apologies offered due to possible indirect insult: George R.R. Martin, David Benioff, Dan Weiss, Dave Hill, Mark Mylod, Michele Clapton, C.C. Smiff, The city of Baltimore, ASoIaF purists, that old dude who played the High Septon, whoeverthefuck put “Dorne” where “Sunspear” should have gone on the map, blondes, bros, bronies, the 1%, supporters of the Spanish Inquisition, Martha Chávez, alcoholics, prohibition lobbyists, the Tea Party (again), Southern Baptists, the Catholic Church, people who enjoy “reverse cowgirl” during sex, men with small penises (I’m totally offended), boob connoisseurs, Colin Farrell (who is, ironically, also a probable boob connoisseur), prisoners who do not enjoy the company of men, prisoners who do enjoy the company of men, people who think prison sex automatically equates to rape, rapists, non-rapists, members of any royal family (I will grant that few probably read these Twitter posts so their directed apology is tepid at best), people opposed to gay rights, 14-year old boys, people who play Call of Duty, the owners/operators of Pornhub, Michael Cera, Tinder-users, Kit Harrington, Carice van Houten, cows (and heifers), gingers (second week in a row), truckers in Wisconsin, Craigslist, Imogen Heap, Star Wars fans, Aiden Gillen, pedophiles, Wheaties cereal makers (General Mills I guess), every “Cooper” or “Darnell” in the world who thinks their name is actually pretty cool, fans of The Princess Bride, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Jessica Henwick, Rosabell Laurenti Sellers, Sailor Moon Crystal, toddlers, Bon Iver, hipsters, Rhaegar stans, musical theatre enthusiasts, Marshawn Lynch, Father Time, the Coachella music festival, Ismael AbduSalaam, Jacob Anderson, and maybe even Ian McElhinney.

      Apologies offered due to possible DIRECT insult on my part: Dave Hill, Mark Mylod, the makers and designers of Storify, Leprechauns, people who hate penises, dwarfs, Lauren, people with speech impediments, blondes, people with actual communicable diseases, more blondes (just now), Sonja, Johan, Cristhian Rojas, Protestants, brothel enthusiasts, Monty Python purists, the Elton John/Tim Rice musical collaboration effort, Lauren (again), Natalie Isabella, the tiny and virtually insignificant JaimeXCersei corner of the fandom, pun-haters, 5MASHED, and maybe Harley Horcrux.

      Guys. Guys! I directly insulted a lot of things, and indirectly insulted (guilty by Tweetsociation) a fuckton more! You only care about X because X is your thing.

      So come on. Let’s all have us a nice hug.

      Close your eyes, imagine yourselves pressed close to my bosom… rocking back and forth gently, gently… and imagine me whispering softly, tenderly…

      “…Try not to be so bloody sensitive.”

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    55. Axechucker:

      Guys. Guys! I directly insulted a lot of things, and indirectly insulted (guilty by Tweetsociation) a fuckton more! You only care about X because X is your thing

      Well, not exactly. Speaking for myself, I care about X because LGBT people are subject to near-constant hatred, violence, discrimination, ignorance and prejudice in every corner of the globe on a daily basis. Literally no LGBT person can go through life escaping those things and not being a little damaged by them. That’s what separates us from the other things you mentioned. I have to laugh a little at the suggestion we’re being thin-skinned, as if people who have to get used to hearing ‘faggot’ and ‘dyke’ shouted at us by strangers are less thick-skinned than our straight counterparts as a whole.

      Because we all want to live in a better world, some of us want to improve it a little, one person at a time, by explaining to some people why some comments or actions are hurtful, in the hopes they will not repeat them. There are certainly some examples of extremes of over-sensitivity or people obsessing over what is PC; this just isn’t one of them.

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    56. As someone who has read the books, 4 and 5 are most certainly a little ass. And I say this as a HUGE fan of the series. GRRM was undone by his Meereenese Knot and while there were good moments, they suffered from numerous pacing problems. I’ve been looking forward to seeing them cleaned up. We don’t need multiple episodes of Tyrion crying where do the whores go. We don’t need to watch Dany spin her wheels uselessly in Meereen because it’s not time for her to do anything yet. Get to the good stuff!

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    57. outdoorcats,

      You said “Not exactly” and then you proceeded to highlight the thing that affected you, personally, the most. I was kind of hoping for a rousing assault of my discourtesy toward the Tea Party. So what exactly is not exactly?

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    58. Greatjon of Slumber,

      The odds were not in the Sons’ favor. It’s a television trope to ratchet up tension just for the sake of ratcheting it up, and this is an example of doing precisely that. This may be on the writer (I am a little disappointed with Dave Hill) or the director, but either way, the assaulting Sons’ did the one thing they shouldn’t have done, which was to allow the Unsullied to form up. The knives should have been swarming immediately, not pausing for some tense showdown. Once they formed up, spear-wielding, shield-bearing, armored soldiers should have cut through robed men with little trouble.

      True – but if you watch again, you’ll see that the Sons do take out a few Unsullied separately without allowing them to form up. These 6 or so end up in the hallway before the Sons are even there. If you want to argue they should have been waiting in ambush, that’s fine.

      On the other side of it, had the Sons actually utilized their momentary advantage, the Unsullied were unsuitably equipped for combat in any place narrower than the long hall they found themselves trapped in. When Dany bought the Unsullied it was specifically stated that they were trained from a very early age in the short sword. Short swords, in our world, were historically used by street guards (the Romans being one fine example) who knew they would be patrolling many places where longer weapons might be useless. And yet the Unsullied only used spears.

      Fair point. This one I”ll take.

      I’m not nitpicking for nitpicking’s sake, I’m just saying why it did not sit well with me. One or two little glitches… okay. That’s television. But in my view the scene had both the Sons and the Unsullied choosing poorly, and it therefore stretched past the point of believable for me.

      I can see your point from the Unsullied side – not armed with the right weapons. On the Sons, though, these aren’t trained fighters in ambush – these are early attempts at such guerrilla tactics. So I give it a bit of a break. In addition there were about 25 of them by my count next to 6 Unsullied in that hallway. Pretty good odds even against trained warriors like this. By the time they’re down to a very badly wounded Grey Worm, just as Barristan shows up, it’s about 16 Sons, 1 Unsullied – so the Unsullied take out about 9 or so and lose 5. About on par with a usual soldier’s performance, if a bit light for the Unsullied, I’d grant.

      You’re right in saying the Sons of the Harpy are terrorists, but they’re not religious fanatics – they want Dany out of their city, I seriously doubt they’re looking to die martyrs deaths. The smartest way to go about that is to take them out where you have a distinct advantage. And two-to-one in a large hall whilst wearing robes is not that.

      Add in the other few stabbed in the circular area and the separate shot of a few others getting taken out and you’ve got better overall performance. I still think we’re in the realm of quibbles, though, which is why I’m less bothered by this than you. Again, I give you the bit about them letting the Unsullied “form up.”

      As to Yara, I think she’s great. The speech she gave in the scene prior to turning tail and running off without Theon was fantastic, and I wish we had been able to see the original scene Bryan Cogman scripted. I’m hoping season 6 gives us some more Krakens. I think Balon Greyjoy is still alive so that his death (if it ever even happens) can happen onscreen – and possibly introduce a new player to the tale. But who can say?

      What was the nature of what Cogman scripted that we didn’t see? A bit longer?

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    59. Darkstar:
      Young Griff,

      Well, my displeasure with the manner of Ser Grandfather’s death aside, his death itself doesn’t overly disturb me. He probably dies in TWOW anyways, so D & D just made it happen earlier.

      And of course, the books editor is going to say read the books if one wants the “real” story; her job kind of depends on people reading the books.

      Elio & Lindaaaaaa can suck it…………………………………..

      This.

      It’s an adaptation. There will be changes. That’s the point. It has to be changed. The show is the show. The books are the books. And for as much beauty as books 4-5 have, they’ve also stranded just about every major character off in their own separate storyline (save Jon/Stannis). It may work for a book, where we can enjoy the inner thoughts of each person – Arya, Sansa, many interesting characters – but it fails for filmed drama, where it’s more important to see characters interact with one another, and by interact, I don’t mean “major character interacts with heretofore forgotten tertiary character” (i.e., Jeyne Poole, Rolly Duckfield, Reznak mo Reznak, Gyles Rosby, Nimble Dick Crabbe, Harry the Heir). So the changes are made for a good reason for this.

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    60. Greatjon of Slumber:

      What was the nature of what Cogman scripted that we didn’t see? A bit longer?

      Sadly I didn’t get to see the actual script, but there was supposed to have been a prolonged fight in the courtyard that displayed both Yara and Ramsay’s fighting abilities. And I believe (don’t quote me on this) Yara was supposed to escape with a running dive off a cliff into the sea.

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    61. Axechucker,

      You rock Axey. You said pretty much my exact reasoning for why this isn’t such a big deal, which I didn’t say in detail because I figured I’d be yelled at haha.

      I’m a blonde man of partially German heritage. When I was growing up sometimes idiots used to call me “Nazi” just because of that. Did it offend me when it was directed at me personally? Yes. Does it offend me when you put jokes about blondes or Germans in a Twitter post? No.

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    62. I am really hating this whole new format. Having to click through a million times, then havig to start all over from the beginning if I don’t leave the screen open to the article. Still love the tweets tho!

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