Season Seven Hells! Can you believe it? Ladies and Sers, it IS in-season Looking Forward time. We can now countdown to Game time by hours instead of days. Hallelujah. Holy shit.
If you are new to our beautiful (yet cold) establishment of internet rock and ice, here is the deal: with all Oz posts, you enter the realm of the Unsullied where if you have persisted in your quest to remain unspoiled during the off-season and strayed away from leaks and other news that may ruin the surprise of watching the show in real-time, then you have found your safe space.
Spoiled souls are always welcome to join us, but ye’ must adhere to the Unsullied rules. And if any of you fair people need more reason to get fired up for this long-awaited premiere, then I’m your huckleberry. Iron banks. Weekly schedule. A mild rant. The Unsullied Board of Trustees convenes momentarily…
Welcome to the weekly antics of the Wall’s version of a village idiot. Here is where the true Unsullied reside. The non-book readers. The non-spoiler seekers. The fresh eyes of the unadulterated. The ones that want the true shock and awe to come from their TV screens on a dark Sunday night (or Monday morning, depending on your locale), not from scanned verse contained on Reddit. This is the home of the true Unsullied.
**I’ll now call the Unsullied Board of Trustees meeting to order. To be counted present, you must respond with “Here!” in the comments.
Robert’s Rules of Order (named after the one true King, Robert Baratheon)
Here are our Unsullied rules as written and approved years ago. Motions for revision will be heard in the comments.
Anything that is official HBO and shown on television is fair game for discussion and speculation either before or after the episode airs. This includes trailers, teasers, official HBO season photos, etc. Also included are previews and photos released for upcoming episodes and those spoilerish “previously on” segments before new episodes air. If this is above your personal level of Unsulliedness and you feel you may be spoiled or corrupted by any of the above, feel free to excuse yourself from this meeting post.
More importantly, if you have closely followed casting, filming news, the dreadful leaks, and anything that could ruin surprises that the new season hold, we kindly ask that you refrain from revealing those secrets in the comments of Unsullied posts. The moderators thank you in advance.
Tentative WotW In-Season Schedule
Although nothing is ever etched in stone and ice at the Wall, in-season brings with it a need for schedule to ensure that we are bringing you the most comprehensive (and hopefully entertaining) Game of Thrones coverage anywhere on the internet. The schedule is subject to change.
Sundays are Game days, which means an open chat post regarding the night’s upcoming episode.
Sunday night brings the Sullied (book reader) Episode recap from the Fury of Sue.
Monday morning brings the Unsullied recaps (non-book readers/unspoiled) by yours truly. Happy Monday to you too.
Monday afternoon will feature the Episode Post-Mortem by the lovely Vanessa Cole.
On Monday evening, our newest initiate, SirSquinty (David R.) will pull reviews aplenty for the Review/Recap Roundup.
Tuesdays mean viewing numbers as the numbers become available, and Marko Roars with attractive charts and comparisons.
Tuesday may also bring costume analysis by Ser Hogan McLaughlin (NEW!)
Wednesday will mark the return of the infamous Twitter recaps, brought to you by the most dangerous man with a laptop… the loose cannon, axe-wielding Wilding, Axechucker.
Wednesday will also feature the return of Bex highlighting some of the best videos in the Video Recap Roundup.
Thursday is analysis day, brought to you in a new dialogue-style format by Luka Nieto and Greyjoy loyalist, Petra Halbur (Jacob has a crush on you).
Thursday typically delivers new episode photos for the upcoming episode courtesy of HBO.
On Friday, we begin preparations for the next episode with a preview and synopsis post featuring the one and only Geoffrey. Friday also features the infamous Curtain Calls, assuming of course that someone dies.
Friday Night/Saturday morning means in-season Looking Forward for the next episode, where again, yours truly types up some insignificant rants along with what the army of Unsullied may be interested in seeing in the next installment.
Saturday offers an assortment of riches, although those riches have not yet been identified.
And of course, sprinkled in will be all of the news and extras you have come to expect from this fine establishment.
So… shall we discuss the show?
Look… it has been a long, cold off-season full of terrors and leaks and predictions and dialogue. We’ve discussed and speculated until we looked like White Walkers (you know… blue in the face).
I don’t want to rehash it. I want to see it. At this point, it’s been so long since we’ve had a new episode that it will likely be a peculiar event for the show to open with a scene I’m not used to after the intro.
But I will say this: Don’t forget about the Iron Bank. We get all caught up in dragons and walkers and the great war. We can talk about Jaime and Cersei and who we think is going to inevitably kill her; or Arya and what faces she may use to infiltrate certain locales so she may continue her throat slashing; or if Dany and Jon will end up together and how many dragon babies they may parturition. Theories are like assholes (everybody has one).
But my question for you is this…
What difference does it make who ends up sitting on the Iron Throne if the Iron Bank owns it?
The trailers understandably make no mention of it nor show any footage. They are fantastic and exactly what you might expect: dragons and fire and war and ice and drama involving the major players left on the board. But the simplicity of the marketing undermines the complexity of the situation. Especially when it comes to money.
And unless the showrunners simply decide to dismiss it as a non-issue because the Iron Bank doesn’t have a debt collector named “Drogon”, the debt owed them is going to come into play at some point in the 13 remaining episodes.
Let’s simply reference how long this has been ongoing:
Season 1: Ned learns that the realm is 6 million Gold Dragons in debt.
Season 3: Tyrion makes the same discovery as the new Master of Coin, and that Baelish had been borrowing to keep up with the costs.
Season 4: Olenna speaks to Tywin about the cost of the wedding and that he will need further financial support from the Tyrells as the war has added to the debt.
Tywin later meets with Cersei to discuss the debt and the importance of Tyrell support because the gold mines of Casterly Rock had run dry three years ago, so the Lannister will not be able to support the Crown for long. He also warns her that the Bank is not to be toyed with.
Season 4: Davos convinces Tycho Nestoris that Stannis is the best chance for the Bank to get its money back. And we all know how that turned out.
Season 5: The bank requests a payment on the realm debt be paid and new Master of Coin Mace informs the council that they don’t have it. Mace offers the money from the Tyrells but Cersei declines and instead sends him to Braavos to negotiate. Tycho is unfazed. Mace sings a song.
So yeah… this shit isn’t going away. There is no bankruptcy court in Westeros. Not only does the realm owe the bank a fortune, but the bank lost their ass betting on Stannis to boot.
Will they go after Cersei knowing that she likely doesn’t have the funds? Will they join forces with someone against her? Will they recruit the faceless men to do their dirty work? Will they attempt to repossess Dragonstone after Dany gets good and cozy in her chair?
Regardless of how it all shakes out, my bet is that one way or another it ends up helping out this guy…
Unless, of course, this guy kills them all…
The Iron Bank is coming. And the debt is coming with it.
The time is now, my friends. We’ve waited a long time. Sorted through a lot of evidence. Rewatched a lot of episodes. And I have no shame, for I love this fucking show and all that comes with it. And for that guy who thought his op-ed on being a nerd and the overall badness of GoT would curb any enthusiasm I have, you don’t deserve retort. But I’m going to give it to you anyway (with a little help from Col. Nathan R. Jessup):
Now is the time, for we live at a site that has a wall and that wall has to be guarded by men and women with sword and bow. We have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. To protect a fandom. A community. You weep for those entranced by GoT and curse what you weakly refer to as a nerd. You have that luxury, a luxury that was afforded to you by someone else’s initiative that gave you a platform so that you could criticize those you don’t completely understand. And our existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, enhances lives. Somehow or another, your “moral compass” wasn’t shifted until after you ingested the entirety of six seasons, and I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain to you how if brother and sister “porn” was your issue, you should have recognized this wasn’t your cup of tea after the first 52 minutes. Either way, Mr. Walther, I extend a personal invitation to you; to join us here at the Wall, for at the Wall, we don’t judge one based on their enthusiasm for art in its various forms. We embrace those that value creativity and engage in respectful and constructive dialogue while refraining from stereotypical categorizations. There’s nothing wrong with admitting the truth, that right after you published this lovely “GoT is Bad” piece, you immediately went back to Watchers on the Wall and hit “refresh.” We do not judge, and I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post! Winter is Here, Mr. Walther. Take the Black, for the great war is upon us.
Ready the scythe and for the love of all that is sacred, would someone please bring the damn breastplate stretcher?!
Until Monday morning, a man wishes all of you well. Enjoy every moment. The end is near. Embrace it. Share it. Invite someone to the Wall. And may there always be peace in your realm.