The time has come. In-season Looking Forward is here.
Fear not, Unsullied army. For if you are one of those strong-willed souls who have fought the good fight over urge and avoided casting news and filming leaks and other spoilerific posts that this fair site has brought you, then you do not stand alone.
Join me as we venture into the true unknown. Your virgin eyes and ears shall remain unmolested in the posts of Oz.
Strap on your feathered helmets. Your all-inclusive, in-season, unofficial Watchers schedule awaits you below the cut, and the Unsullied Board of Trustees meeting convenes now.
Greetings Wallbies, and welcome to the weekly antics of the Wall’s version of a village idiot. Here is where the true Unsullied reside. The non-book readers. The non-spoiler seekers. The fresh eyes of the unadulterated. The ones that want the true shock and awe to come from their TV screens on a dark Sunday night (or Monday morning, depending on your locale). The home of the true Unsullied.
I took an oath, and a man is nothing if he is not an oath keeper.
Lord Commander “Buckeye” Sue has gone to great lengths to keep a man from spoilers, even going as far as to create a separate communication channel between myself and the rest of the residing Crows. Said channel is where the clan exchanges photos and leakages, and most certainly talk about me behind my back.
And I’m comfortable with that.
I’ll now call the Unsullied Board of Trustees meeting to order. To be counted present and to attain your GoT CEU’s, you must respond with “here” in the comments.
Robert’s Rules of Order (surely named after King Robert Baratheon)
As lines become increasingly blurred (which is odd since the books have caught up with the show), it is important to know the Unsullied ground rules going forward into the unchartered territory. So here goes:
Basically, anything that is shown on television is fair game for discussion and speculation. This includes trailers, teasers, official HBO season photos, etc. Also included are previews for the upcoming episodes and those spoilerish reviews before new episodes air. If this is above your personal level of Unsulliedness and you feel you may be spoiled or corrupted by pictures of the upcoming season, do yourself a favor and excuse yourself from this meeting post.
More importantly, if you have closely followed casting, filming news, and anything that could encompass surprises that the new season hold, we kindly ask that you refrain from revealing those secrets in Unsullied posts. The moderators thank you in advance.
1st Disclaimer of Season 6:
Sometimes, even the impregnable get pregnant (or the impenetrable get penetrated). So for the sake of full disclosure, here are a few things that spilled onto my plate over the past nine months. Unsullied army, you have been warned.
- Obviously, the news of Kit arriving in Belfast was a tough missile to dodge. As you know, according to him he is dead. And he stays dead. And he’s not coming back. And he made the trip to supposedly portray a corpse. OK. Other than that, a man is clueless.
Apparently the Jon Snow dead horse has been beaten all over Westeros, so no further speculation is required. Here is the Unsullied discussion from a few months ago where we made complete and total sense of Jon staying dead.
- I’ve seen the phrase “Tower of Joy” more than a few times, but I have no idea how it relates to the show. I’ve been trying to get Ozzette to refer to me as the tower of joy for years. She refuses to do so.
- I’m not a big breakfast eater, but a Bowl of Clegane sounds scrumptious. Since the Hound is dead, it makes sense that this has something to do with the chemically altered, rat-fed, jolly green giant. Maybe this refers to when the Mountain helps himself to a bite of Lancel Sandwich right after Cersei chooses violence.
Or was there a Maester hiding behind a rock?
All other mysteries remain a mystery, just as the oath commands.
If by chance you have been under a rock with a maester, you may not have noticed that our little plot of internet property has expanded to include an abundance of new readers. As a result, the traffic wreaked havoc and dropped a scythe on our old server, forcing us to acquire more property thus expanding the Wall.
But this is a good problem to have, and if you are new to our realm then welcome to our humble abode. Wipe your feet at the door and put your covered dish on the table. Grab a cocktail (so long as it is not a tiny Tyrion-tini) and indulge. This Wall was built for you, and all Sers and Ladies are welcome (so long as disrespect and confrontational dispositions are checked at the door).
Tentative WotW In-Season Schedule
Although nothing is ever etched in stone and ice at the Wall, in-season brings with it a need for schedule to ensure that we are bringing you the most comprehensive (and hopefully entertaining) Game of Thrones coverage anywhere.
Sundays are Game days, which means an open chat post regarding the night’s upcoming episode.
Sunday night brings the Sullied Episode recap from Sue the Fury. We will also post an empty discussion post for the Unsullied to discuss the show.
Sunday night/Monday morning brings us Game of Owns post-episode edition.
Monday morning will also bring the Unsullied recaps by yours truly. My knowledge comes from the show alone, so take it for what it’s worth.
Monday Late Morning will feature the Episode Post-Mortem by the lovely Geoffrey.
On Monday Afternoon, Nate will pull many reviews for the Review/Recap Roundup.
Tuesdays mean discussing numbers as the numbers become available, and Marko excels with Excel and attractive charts and comparisons.
Later Tuesday will mark the return of the infamous Twitter recaps, brought to you by the most dangerous man with a laptop… the loose cannon, axe-wielding Wildling, Axechucker.
Wednesday will feature the return of Bex highlighting some of the best videos in the Video Recap Roundup.
Thursday is analysis day, brought to you by the quite intelligible Marc Kleinhenz in a new feature entitled “It Is Known.” A second weekly episode of Game of Owns is also planned. Thursday is typically the day that HBO releases new photos for the upcoming episode.
On Friday, we begin preparations for the next episode with a preview and synopsis post featuring Ser Spiffy (a.k.a. Cian). Friday also features the infamous Curtain Calls, assuming of course that someone dies.
Friday Night/Saturday morning means in-season Looking Forward for the next episode, where again, yours truly types up some insignificant rants along with what the army of Unsullied may be interested in seeing in the next installment.
Saturday offers an assortment of riches, although those riches have not yet been identified.
Of course, conditions at the Wall are subject to change. But in between all of the regularly scheduled programming, there will be interviews and videos and special features and reviews sprinkled in including posts from the royal Petra and the incomparable WinterPhil.
On top of that…
Don’t forget our Tumblr page maintained by Sue and Jess. I admittedly don’t know shit about Tumblr, but these fine ladies do an excellent job updating it.
So find us. Follow us. Like us. Hate us. Or whatever your heart may desire. But understand that our goal here was to build a Wall that you would be proud of.
The day has come.
The time is now. Rally the troops. Invite a friend to the Wall. And ready the scythe.
And at least once more, say the words:
“Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.”
This is it, people. The moment of truth. The countless days of waiting and watching the clock and speculating and reporting have led up to this moment.
Savor it. There may not ever be another show that brings together a fandom of this nature again. You are the Watcher on the Wall. This is your site. And come Sunday night, history will be made.
“I said nock and hold! Does ‘nock’ mean ‘draw? Does fucking ‘hold’ mean fucking ‘drop? Are you all planning to die here tonight?”
Sunday night… we fight! And the next morning, I promise you that Watchers on the Wall will stand. Are you ready? With me now! Now with me!! Seal the fucking tunnel. Season 6 starts now.
And may there always be peace in your realm…
“Unbowed. Unbent. Unsullied”
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REMINDER: Please be mindful of the Unsullied-do not post any spoilery, blurred or otherwise, in the comments!!