Welcome back to another Season Six Memory Lane! This year I thought it might be fun to look back over The Door, apparently forgetting that this episode basically broke me internally. But that’s alright! Hold the door, Watchers, we’ll get through this together.
The episode starts strongly with Sansa finally giving Creepyfinger a piece of her mind over what he did to her. Is it just me, or should his sigil just be like a huge slimy worm instead of a mockingbird? It’d be more fitting. Anyway, it’s a satisfying scene as Sansa lays down some hard truths on Littlefinger.
Also a reminder for everyone that you should always bring a Brienne to a fight, even if it’s just a verbal one.
From a verbal spar to a physical one as the action catches up with Arya and the Waif, who’s being her typically pleasant self. A Man has also come to watch, make cryptic comments and give Arya a quick history lesson. Business as usual in the House of Black & White. Jaqen tasks Arya with making a kill: an actress called Lady Crane. Cut to Ye Moste Accurate Portrayale of Sum Eventes in Kinge’s Landinge (™) which is excellent for so many reasons:
- Arya’s cute new outfit
- Awesome Essie Davis
- The cut from Arya’s increasingly saddened face to fake Joffrey’s warty penis
- Richard E Grant and his fake intestines
- The actor Kevin Eldon:
Arya has a few reservations about this murder, which she voices to Jaqen. It’s good to see she’s not fully slid down the slippery slope of Faceless Assassination. A girl still has a moral compass.
Beyond the Wall it’s Happy Bran Flashback Hour, as the Three-Eyed Raven shows him a vision of Leaf creating the first White Walker. In her defense, people were getting busy cutting down her trees. So that answers one particular question and throws up a whole host of other ones. Vision Quests: never not confusing.
On the Iron islands, it’s Kingsmoot time and it turns out folk there are pretty sexist. Luckily Theon supports his sister’s claim to the Salt Throne and it seems like things are going their way, until Euron shows up. As if the show would allow Theon a brief moment of happiness. Although I wonder if anyone would be so keen to get behind Euron if they knew about this….
(Hands up everyone who now ships Euron and his favourite Danish Hipster Friend)
Good luck seducing Daenerys, Euron. I’m pretty sure there’s only one Greyjoy she’s interested in.
Speaking of Daenerys, she’s having trouble with our favourite yellow-shirted knight in exile. It’s a heart-breaking moment when he finally reveals his love for her, knowing full well he’ll probably be dead before he ever finds the cure she demands him to find. In Meereen, the rest of Team Dany chat politics and Tyrion invites Kinvara, High Priestess of the Red Temple of Volantis. Tyrion is pleased when she agrees to spread the good word of Daenerys, but Varys is more skeptical. Kinvara certainly has some inside info on the eunuch, does serving R’hollor give you kick-ass Googling skills as well as an age-defying necklace?
Back beyond the wall, Bran is so bored he’s throwing rocks at Max von Sydow, the wee scamp! As Rock Throw at Three Eyed Raven is not yet a recognized sport in Westeros, Bran takes another trip into the past and ends up branded by the Night King. This is what happens when you don’t take Max von Sydow with you on trips. Trips to the past, trips to the seaside, anywhere. It’s just a bad idea.
Three-Eyed Raven: The time has come.
Bran Stark: The time for what?
Three-Eyed Raven: For you to become me.
Bran Stark: But am I ready?
Three-Eyed Raven: No.
At the Wall, the war council discusses which houses are still loyal to the North. Sansa reveals that Brynden has retaken Riverrun, but flat-out lies when asked how she knows this. Brienne calls her out on this, but Sansa doesn’t give her reason why. Maybe she doesn’t completely trust Jon ‘I like the wolf bit’ Snow, but she still sews him a rad new outfit ‘cos Sansa is the needlework queen.
Stop. Brienne X Tormund Time
Oh, and Edd’s Lord Commander now. That’ll end well.
Back beyond the Wall. Brace yourselves, emotions are coming! Meera has a cute little conversation with Hodor (I like my eggs the same way he does. HODOR!) Seeing all those White Walkers is just terrifying. Meera tries to snap Bran out of his vision, but he’s too busy watching Ned & Co: The Wonder Years. It’s still pretty cool to see Meera and Leaf taking out White Walkers, although poor old Summer doesn’t stand a chance. The Three Eyed Raven makes like Voldemort and is scattered to the four winds in Bran’s vision. Leaf makes a heroic last stand buying Meera, Bran and Hodor enough time to get out and well…you know the rest. Hodor holds that door like a DAMN HERO while his former self has his brain fried. Both Sam Coleman and Kristian Nairn put in tour de force performances as past and future Hodor. It’s fine. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING. *reaches for gin bottle* It’s fine.
Poor, sweet Hodor you were far too good for this world. As we haven’t reached this point in the books yet and I was watching the episode unspoiled, his death was a big old shocker for me and it’s still painful on re-watch. That aside, this is an excellent episode for Arya, Sansa and Yara character development as well and made me all excited for Season Seven. Memory Lane job done, I guess?
- Izembaro and his theatre troupe (Clarenzo, Camello, Bobono, Bianca and Lady Crane)
- Kinvara the Red Priestess
- The Three-Eyed Raven
Beautiful Death for The Door, by Robert M. Ball.